(no subject)
I binged and purged immediately after that last post. The binging, unfortunately, is nothing new, but this was the first time I spent so long purging. I still didn't come close to getting rid of all the excess calories, but I did a "better" job than I have in the past. I'm getting scared because it's my second b&p incident in a week, and it gets a little easier each time. I hate throwing up and what it will do to my body, but I can't stop binging--that doesn't leave me with many options. I'm losing control in a different way than I ever imagined.
This isn't what I want.
This isn't what I want.