(no subject)
I read over my last entry and realized there is no need to further edit it. Nothing else really happened that night except for losing my phone along with my mind b/c i wanted to talk to Jenn. I was about to update about all that happened last night but there is plenty of time for that. Right now I'm home, i might even stay here all day, who knows? But I just finished reading over Lilly's journal. Something about her..i can't name it but it's weird as hell. It's almost as if I should have met her years ago, like I already have, like i know her, or maybe even knew her in a previous life. I can't explain it but it's freaky. I keep wishing that we could hang out and just talk. I feel like there are things being left unsaid and shouldn't be. LILLY..what is wrong with you woman..cometh to springs with jenn next time she comes.
Anyway, back to the original thought. I hung out at Starshmucks and Jesse hotel last night. The night was enriched by my angel. I could sit for hours and days staring into her eyes and beautiful face. She makes me so happy. I wish i knew how. I wish i could do so much more for her. But of course life is filled with desire and regret so we have no time for that. I really enjoy her company, more than i have anyone elses in quite a while. She calms my soul and my mind is peaceful, life seems so much more simplistic with her. Our relationship seems so natural, like we just belonged together form the beginning we just were to busy with life to actually meet each other. Im really glad i met her.
So all my responsabilities and things i still need to get done are becoming more apparent as the days pass. Almost as if the time that i have is running out. I really need to be more "on top" of these things. Im just so lazy, i hate it. Im thinking of just going to BCC. That changes ALOT of the things i need to do. It doesnt require me to take the SAT's or ACT's as much anymore. I could always transfer to McFatter or Atlanta Tech after 2 years. I kind of want to go up to GA fo rmy last 2 years of college. I miss Sam like no one can believe. I miss sleeping over her house and waking her up at 3 in the morn with a camera in her face. Then walking out and throwing pine cones at Sean's window to get him to join us. I miss seeing Adrian's wild red hair when he hasn't fixed it in the morning. The four of us were the best of friends t one point. And i think i miss that more than anything. Each of our likes and dislikes (in my case the distance) it seems has drifted us apart enough to were, atleast from what i see, we aren't that square of friends we once were. I really wish we could be though. I keep wondering how different life would've been if i would've went through with moving up there any of the 3 years i had the chance. I sure as hell wouldn't be the person i am today nor know the people i do. i dont know, im being very...i cant find a word for it. But it's as if I'm conciously meditating. Im just staring of into space and thinking..but..eh. Ive written to much. I'll end it here
"..and it's all for you"
NessA
Anyway, back to the original thought. I hung out at Starshmucks and Jesse hotel last night. The night was enriched by my angel. I could sit for hours and days staring into her eyes and beautiful face. She makes me so happy. I wish i knew how. I wish i could do so much more for her. But of course life is filled with desire and regret so we have no time for that. I really enjoy her company, more than i have anyone elses in quite a while. She calms my soul and my mind is peaceful, life seems so much more simplistic with her. Our relationship seems so natural, like we just belonged together form the beginning we just were to busy with life to actually meet each other. Im really glad i met her.
So all my responsabilities and things i still need to get done are becoming more apparent as the days pass. Almost as if the time that i have is running out. I really need to be more "on top" of these things. Im just so lazy, i hate it. Im thinking of just going to BCC. That changes ALOT of the things i need to do. It doesnt require me to take the SAT's or ACT's as much anymore. I could always transfer to McFatter or Atlanta Tech after 2 years. I kind of want to go up to GA fo rmy last 2 years of college. I miss Sam like no one can believe. I miss sleeping over her house and waking her up at 3 in the morn with a camera in her face. Then walking out and throwing pine cones at Sean's window to get him to join us. I miss seeing Adrian's wild red hair when he hasn't fixed it in the morning. The four of us were the best of friends t one point. And i think i miss that more than anything. Each of our likes and dislikes (in my case the distance) it seems has drifted us apart enough to were, atleast from what i see, we aren't that square of friends we once were. I really wish we could be though. I keep wondering how different life would've been if i would've went through with moving up there any of the 3 years i had the chance. I sure as hell wouldn't be the person i am today nor know the people i do. i dont know, im being very...i cant find a word for it. But it's as if I'm conciously meditating. Im just staring of into space and thinking..but..eh. Ive written to much. I'll end it here
"..and it's all for you"
NessA