I think that was the hardest chapter to write for different reasons. Trying to get in the head of a five years old is even more difficult than a seven years old -kids change a lot during their first years, anyway in my mind, the difference of two years is huge. Since Jensen is so different from Jared, more withdrawn and anxious it was so difficult to word it like a kid would do, or think.
Also, I didn't want to make his mother down right evil. For me, some people are better equiped to deal with those kind of events, and even if a parent think he might do what's best, he can totally be in the wrong and not realising how it can affect his kid. through all the story, we don't get to see Jensen's mother in any other way than through Jensen's and Jared's eyes. I wanted to remain vague. We don't know where she come from, what kind of woman she really is, or even if she didn't already had issues before Jensen got kidnapped. The story is about Jared and Jensen's perception, about how they see and feel and I wanted the reader to be in the same position. Jensen doesn't understand why his mother act the way she does, but he's intuitive about her feelings, and I think all kids are, even at a very young age.
Of course, it's heartbreaking building a character like Jensen, a baby, basically, who's very alone and traumatised and can't get the help he needs. I felt aweful writing this, but it's always the case with h/c I guess: I don't want to hurt the characters, but I want them to receive comfort and love and to heal from whatever is affecting them, so the hurt part is necessary :D
Wow. That was a long answer. Sorry. I did work a lot on this chapter to get it the way I wanted so I'm really, really glad that you noticed and that you like what I added. <3 <3 <3
Also, I didn't want to make his mother down right evil. For me, some people are better equiped to deal with those kind of events, and even if a parent think he might do what's best, he can totally be in the wrong and not realising how it can affect his kid. through all the story, we don't get to see Jensen's mother in any other way than through Jensen's and Jared's eyes. I wanted to remain vague. We don't know where she come from, what kind of woman she really is, or even if she didn't already had issues before Jensen got kidnapped. The story is about Jared and Jensen's perception, about how they see and feel and I wanted the reader to be in the same position. Jensen doesn't understand why his mother act the way she does, but he's intuitive about her feelings, and I think all kids are, even at a very young age.
Of course, it's heartbreaking building a character like Jensen, a baby, basically, who's very alone and traumatised and can't get the help he needs. I felt aweful writing this, but it's always the case with h/c I guess: I don't want to hurt the characters, but I want them to receive comfort and love and to heal from whatever is affecting them, so the hurt part is necessary :D
Wow. That was a long answer. Sorry. I did work a lot on this chapter to get it the way I wanted so I'm really, really glad that you noticed and that you like what I added.
<3
<3
<3
Reply
Leave a comment