The Huntress -Chapter 14
Freeport, July 27
Dean came out of the shed, wood dust in his hair, a hand resting on his lower back. He stretched awkwardly as Sumiko got up from her sandbox and ran to him. Sam watched the scene from the chair where he was reading as his daughter stopped abruptly in front of Dean and stretched her arms up to put her small hands on the lower part of Dean’s belly, screaming, “baa-baa!”
Dean rolled his eyes and picked her up. “You do know that she thinks baby means stomach, right?” he asked Sam, walking toward him with Sumiko canted on his hip.
“It’s a start.”
“Sam, she’s not supposed to know there is a baby inside her father.”
Sam shrugged. “It’s not like she’ll remember.”
“Baa-baa,” Sumiko repeated, because of course, this was her latest word and she loved saying it. She twisted around and tried to kiss the swell of Dean’s belly, leaving a wet trail of saliva.
“Oh, that’s adorable,” Sam commented.
“Shut up.”
Dean bent slowly to put Sumiko on the ground and she went back to her new favorite activity - throwing sand all around herself until she was unlucky enough to get some in her eyes. It didn’t change anything. She kept going back to it.
With a groan, Dean lowered himself next to her and grabbed a plastic shovel and a bucket, filling it with sand.
“Anyway, she’s too young to understand she’ll have a baby sister soon.” He said, pointing at his belly.
“We still have to prepare her. I read the arrival of another baby can be traumatizing for a sibling so close to the same age.”
“What’s traumatizing is what she did to this poor doll,” Dean commented, grabbing one of the doll’s hands and extricating her from the sand where she’d been buried.
Sam blushed. “If you had cooperated a little, it would have worked.”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Dr. Spock.”
Dean handed the full bucket to Sumiko who gurgled in delight and began to empty it methodically, handful after handful. Dean winced and put a hand on his stomach.
“Dean what?”
“Hold your horses, it's just a false one,” Dean said.
“Okay.”
Dean sighed and laid on his back under the afternoon sky, arms crossed behind his head. He was doing better. So, so much better. It had taken Sumiko only one day to stop considering him with suspicion, which had helped a lot. He was eating well and was in better shape, although that was kind of hard to evaluate since he was advancing in the pregnancy and suffered the small aches and symptoms that came with it.
He had talked to Sam about his abduction only in bits and pieces, late at night, when they were both lying in bed. It was hard for him. He struggled to get out each and every single word.
Still, there was part of it that Dean still kept to himself and Sam was sure it was about Charlotte. He was willing to wait, as long as necessary, but he was pretty sure it was related to the fact that Dean didn't want to be touched anymore. Casual touches were okay, even on his belly, when he wanted Sam to feel Angie move and kick, but anything that lasted longer than a few seconds and got Dean tense and distant. They hadn’t had sex since Dean’s return and, although that wasn’t really different from Dean’s attitude towards the end of his pregnancy with Sumiko when the birth canal had made his appearance, there was more to it this time.
Sometimes, when they were both sleeping and Sam unintentionally got close to him, Dean would kick and groan in his sleep, waking him up. Dean pretended not to remember the next morning, and maybe it was true, but it didn’t change the fact that any intimate touch, even a kiss, put Dean instantly on the defense.
Sam sighed and closed his book. Nothing was ever perfect, after all, and he was lucky to have his brother with him, alive and well with the baby inside him mostly healthy too.
“I’m going to go do some work on the computer,” he announced, standing up and stretching.
They had gotten Dean’s job back and they were sharing the work. The pay was barely a drop in the ocean of money they needed, but at least Sam felt like he was doing something to make a living for his family. The truth was they wouldn’t have made it without Bobby’s money.
Still, despite his guilty feeling, there was no way Sam was leaving Dean and Sumiko alone to go to work, not until the baby was born and then they had some important decisions to make concerning the rest of their lives.
As Sam got up to go inside, Sumiko was covering Dean’s belly with sand and he was laughing. Sam knew he would have to be seriously messed up to complain about the small imperfections of their lives when there were so many things going right.
::: :::
Portsmouth, August 1
After Dean stepped off the scale, Sumiko climbed on it and waited until Rania pretended to weight her as well.
“Wow you’re a big girl, Sumiko!” Sam said and Sumiko stomped on the scale, applauding herself.
“You’ve gained three pounds, Dean,” Rania told him while he was getting behind the curtain to get changed. “It’s not ideal, but at least the baby seems to be getting everything she needs.”
“Okay.”
Sam was trying to distract Sumiko with toys he’d brought along with him, but when she heard Dean’s voice from beyond the curtain, she ran to him, shoving the curtain aside and letting them see Dean in nothing but his underwear.
“Damn it!” Dean swore, trying to cover his belly, which was… kind of ridiculous.
“Baa-baa!” Sumiko said with excitement, pointing at it.
“Yeah, right.” Dean rolled his eyes before glaring at Sam who was laughing his ass off. He didn’t bother closing the curtain back and just put on the hospital gown before sitting on the table. Of course, Sumiko wanted to follow him, and Sam picked her up to sit her beside Dean. She looked very serious and calm as Rania took Dean’s vitals, her head cocked to the side like she was assessing all the Doctor's actions.
It would have been simpler to have Clover babysit her, but neither Sam nor Dean were ready for that, not after Dean’s abduction. Dean had told Sam what Isabelle had said, that Sue would’ve been a perfect vessel for Charlotte except that her name had protected her against it. Sam was overwhelmed with fear every time he thought about it and, despite Clover’s dedication to their daughter, she wasn’t aware of what was really going on out there. Plus, there was no way to be sure Sumiko’s name was an effective protection against everything supernatural.
It was bitter sweet, seeing the world through the paranoid eyes of a father, just as his father before him had seen it on his behalf. Sam wondered if the lives he and Dean had chosen would ever look normal through their daughter’s eyes.
Dean’s vitals were good. His blood pressure was perfect. Sue wouldn’t get off the table in order for Rania to do the ultrasound, so Rania distracted her with a Popsicle. A grape Popsicle. Sam installed Sue in her stroller, tied on the bigger bib he had brought with him, and let her get all sticky and purple. She had this blissful look on her face that reminded Sam of Dean eating a slice of pie.
As Rania set up the ultrasound machine, Dean tensed all over until his hands were actually shaking. He’d done the same thing during the last one, but since he hadn't been talking then, Sam had had other concerns to worry about.
Angie had been kicking and moving constantly over the last couple of days, like she wanted to reassure them that, somehow, she was fine. Still, it was a relief to see her moving on the ultrasound screen and to hear her heartbeat, so strong and fast. She was getting bigger, so it was hard to get her whole body on the screen at the same time, but when Rania focused on the head, it was fascinating to see her profile, her well-shaped nose and pouting mouth that kept opening and closing. Sam couldn’t wait to see her, to hold her in his arms.
“Baabaa daddy,” Sumiko slurred around her half melted Popsicle.
“Her development is following a normal course,” Rania told them. She’s not advanced anymore, but she’s within the norms of a 34 week foetus. I would’ve liked her to be in birth position by now, but still…”
“What do you mean?” Dean asked, immediately concerned.
“She’s sitting. He head is up toward the uterus, her bottom is… well, at the bottom. For now, it looks like a frank breech, which means her legs are stretched up toward the upper body. She normally would’ve turned into the birthing position by now with her head down, but with everything that’s happened, I’m not surprised it hasn’t happened yet.”
“What happens if she doesn’t turn?”
“Don't be alarmed. Giving birth naturally with a breech, even a frank breech, is possible, Dean. It even used to be common before the c-section technique became a routine surgery offered automatically in those cases. I want you to come back and see me three days from now because sometimes, with specific movements, a doctor can help the baby turn just by manipulating it from outside the uterus.”
“Why not now?” Sam asked, because Dean didn’t look reassured at all by the whole thing.
“Because it’s been a long time since I tried my hand at this and I need to practice my technique.”
“Does it always work?” Dean asked in a low, uncertain voice.
“No. And sometimes, even if it does work, the baby will flip back to the breech position. I don’t want you guys to worry about it though. Dean, your pelvis has enlarged even more than during your first pregnancy, and you still have five weeks to go. Even if we’re dealing with a breech birth, trust me, I’ll get you and the baby through it just fine.”
“That is, if she…” Dean murmured, then stopped talking all of a sudden, looking afraid by the weight of the words he’d almost said.
Sam stepped closer to him, his way of showing his support without invading his space too much.
Sumiko was still sucking on the Popsicle, the lower half of her face wet and purple.
“I’m gonna look at the placenta now,” Rania said as she concentrated on the left part of Dean’s belly, where the membrane was settled. She enlarged the image and frowned, murmuring, “I don’t understand…”
“What is it?” Dean seemed close to going into full panic mode.
“I… Hum. I can’t see the disruption anymore.”
“Like it got glued back together?”
“That doesn’t happen. It’s not supposed to happen. Maybe… maybe I have the wrong angle.”
For two whole minutes, Rania glided the wand over Dean’s lubricant-covered belly, frowning and muttering to herself while Dean and Sam exchanged puzzled looks. Then, she dropped the tool on the table all of a sudden. “It’s definitely not there anymore. The whole placenta is holding well to the uterus’ wall. Guys, I really did see the disruption before, otherwise I wouldn’t have worried you with it,” she added, blushing.
Then, her eyes lit up. “Hey, maybe it’s the curse. I mean, it’s been so efficient up to this point, permitting Dean to get pregnant and getting him to term in both cases. Why shouldn't it be able to fix something that went wrong?”
She appeared relieved to have found a logical explanation - even if this logical explanation implied magic - and Sam quickly agreed with her, Dean also adding his agreement.
I could’ve been the curse, but Sam knew his extraordinary, unborn daughter had just worked another miracle.
“MAM-MAM!” Sue screamed, throwing the empty Popsicle stick on the floor.
She was licking her lips and playing with her fingers, finding it funny that they stuck together.
“You’re washing her,” Dean told Sam like it was his fault.
Sam tried to roll his eyes, he really did, but he was too damn happy with this latest development to really succeed.
::: :::
That night, while Sam put Sumiko in her crib to sleep, Dean went down to the beach to take a walk. He was moving slower now, legs parted wider with that particular stance of a heavily pregnant woman. September was coming quickly and the events from the beginning of the summer had begun to have a dream-like, distant feel to them. Angelia would be with them in a month, Sam thought with amazement, watching the silhouette of Dean on the beach, back-lit by the full moon.
Dean still needed his space though, which told Sam he was still struggling with what had happened to him. Sam was okay with that. He and Dean each had their own way of dealing with traumatic events.
Instead of joining his brother, Sam cleaned the living room, which was scattered with Sumiko’s toys. The last thing he picked up was the doll, half hidden under the couch. She was now missing an arm. Sue had torn it off with a vicious expression on her face and Sam wondered if he should be worried about her reaction to Angie’s arrival. He couldn’t help but smile, though.
“She really hates that thing,” Dean said, announcing his presence.
He had both his hands resting on the small of his back and was stretching backward, exposing his belly where it was constricted by a light grey t-shirt. As he stretched, Sam saw a ripple move through his stomach which seemed suddenly much bigger on the right side before slowly returning to its former shape.
“Wow.”
“Yeah, she won’t stop tonight. Full on gymnastic routine going on in there,” Dean said, sitting on the couch cautiously.
He was a little short of breath and it took a whole minute before he spoke again.
“So. I… wanted to tell you something,” he announced almost harshly.
“Okay.”
Sam sat next to him, careful to keep his expression neutral.
“It huh… it’s about those crazy bitch sisters.”
“Hum.”
“I don’t… Fuck, if you laugh at me, Sam, m’gonna punch you in the face,” Dean said defensively, his hands closing into fists.
“Hey, why would I do that? Come on, m’listening.”
“I know that we haven’t…touched each other in a while, and it’s my fault, and you’ve been so fucking patient with me, but it’s getting to me, ya’ know? I want it over and done with.”
Dean was blushing red, evading Sam’s eyes.
“First day I was there, Isabelle introduced me to Charlotte,” Dean’s sarcasm was tinted with fear and disgust.
“Go on.”
Dean laughed, his eyes remaining serious. He spoke in a quiet, almost shy voice about how the spirit had touched him, about how he had felt it inside of him, under his skin, reaching for the baby. Sam had experienced Charlotte’s assault when they had found Isabelle’s cabin and he couldn’t help but shiver at the thought of Dean enduring this.
“I was so fucking scared of what she might do to Angie. I could feel it, ya’ know, kind of… how it hurt her. I told you I couldn’t do anything to escape because of Charlotte, and that’s the reason why.”
“You did what you had to do to protect the baby.”
Dean shook his head. “Still, she was hurt. I know that. Isabelle kept threatening to let Charlotte free if I tried anything and damn it, I didn’t. I just stayed there, waiting for you to find me.”
“You had no other choice.”
“Damn it, Sam! I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I’m just trying to explain.”
“Okay,” Sam said quietly. “Okay, go on.”
“The huh… the first week, it was okay. Isabelle had everything under control. Then I got sick and she snapped. She didn’t know what to do and she was losing it. Charlotte was getting stronger and… You know, I don’t remember a lot during those last days because I was so fucking sick and I had a fever and… But Charlotte, she kept coming at me, touching me and fuck…”
Dean’s voice broke. He clenched his jaw, hard, but his lower lip was trembling and sure enough, a tear was sliding down his cheek. He wiped it off impatiently. “Damn it. Thought I could do this.”
Morbid curiosity made Sam asks: "What did it feel like?" before he could stop himself.
“Fuck off, you’re not my psychiatrist,” Dean mumbled without any anger. He tried to compose himself. “What did it feel like? Having this thing all over me, pushing through me, to get to the baby? Made me fucking feel violated. Raped. Yeah, there, I said it. Made me feel like a fucking sexual assault victim. I felt helpless and dirty and wrong and so mad I couldn’t do anything to stop it, and now, each time you touch me I can’t help but think about it and I hate myself for it. Keep telling myself that you’re not her, that I’m supposed to enjoy you touching me, and I want to, I need to. I miss it, but it’s hard, whenever I try, I can’t relax and…”
Sam tried to hold back his own emotions when he saw that Dean was crying again. Although he was doing his best not to let it out, Dean's breath was catching and his eyes were full of unshed tears. Sam bent his head to catch his brother's downcast gaze, so Dean had nowhere else to look but at his face.
“Remember when Meg possessed me?”
“Yeah.”
“We joked about it afterwards. We laughed. You told me I had a full on girl in me for a week, and that it was pretty naughty.”
Dean nodded.
“But it wasn’t really that funny. I didn’t say anything about it because I'd put you through hell that week, but that's kind of what I felt like too: violated, stained, dirty. I wasn’t always conscious, but when I was I could feel her, pushing in my brain, invading, controlling my body. It took me a long time before I felt comfortable in my own body again.”
Sam had never talked about this with anyone. It was still hard, even after more than three years, to remember those events. Dean looked at him and nodded softly, putting his hand on Sam’s thigh.
“Yeah, must have been pretty horrible.”
“It was.”
“I’m tired of this, Sammy,” Dean croaked.
He wasn’t crying anymore - Dean never cried for long, of course he didn’t - but he looked exhausted, older. His other hand was resting firmly on the swell of his belly, something he never allowed himself to do, not until the very last days before Sumiko’s birth.
“I know.”
“So you keep touching me, because I need it, and if this makes me a fucking girl, so be it. I’m gonna tense and maybe push you away, but still, you keep doing it, okay?”
“Okay.”
Without waiting, Sam pressed his lips to Dean’s. It had been a long time and feel of Dean’s mouth on his drove him half crazy with desire, but he wisely pulled back. “Like that?”
Dean smiled a little, his thumb running over his lips. “I guess so.”
::: :::
On August 4th, they went back to Rania so she could try and help Angelia flip upside down. The foetal monitor was strapped around Dean’s belly to be sure the procedure didn't cause the baby any stress. Rania pressed firmly on different parts of Dean’s stomach, feeling the baby and trying to get it to move. Dean winced a couple of times, but he didn’t seem to be in any serious pain.
“Yes, I think…” Rania started to say, but then her words became unnecessary. The shape of Dean’s belly was distorted by a sudden wave. A big bump appeared to the left, then right under his popped out navel. Another wave passed through. “Holy shit,” Dean muttered gritting his teeth.
Sumiko was in Sam’s arms. Her eyes got wide when she saw the baby bump changing shape. Her lower lip wobbled and she murmured, “baa-baa” in an uncertain voice.
Then, it was over, and the shape of Dean’s stomach had definitely changed, pointing more in the front. Angie’s heartbeat had remained steady during the whole thing. Looking proud of herself, Rania did an ultrasound to confirm that it had worked.
“Yes,” she said, beaming at them. “See? Now the head is pointing toward the pelvis.”
“Fuck I can actually feel it.” Dean groaned.
“That’s what we want.”
Dean moaned loudly when Rania helped him sit up and Sumiko burst into tears.
“Hey, come on, baby, daddy’s alright,” he told her. “I should have known, you're growing up to be a drama queen just like Sam.”
“Shut up,” Sam smiled.
With this step done it finally seemed like Angelia’s birth would be normal. No more worries about placental disruption, or premature birth, or a breech position. This second pregnancy hadn’t felt normal at all until now, but maybe, just maybe, they could have their normal after all.
::: :::
Freeport, August 12
Dean was waiting for him in their bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of stretched-out boxer briefs. He was lying on top of the covers in a half sitting position, his back resting on pillows, his hair still wet from the shower. He looked calm enough.
Sam swallowed loudly and dropped his towel. “You sure about this?”
“M’sure. I’m fucking horny, Sam, and this has to stop.”
“Okay.”
Sam climbed on the bed and crawled over Dean, kissing his thighs, then his hardening length through the stretched fabric of his boxers. Dean shivered but didn’t tense, so Sam went on, peppering his large and firm belly with kisses, giving special attention to his navel, causing Dean to groan softly. Sam raised his head and sought out his eyes. “Okay?”
Dean nodded and raised his hips, letting Sam pull his underwear down his legs, kicking them off with his feet. Dean’s cock was already leaking. It wasn’t completely hard, but jerking toward his belly, his balls under it looking swollen and firm.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Sam whispered, settling next to him.
Dean turned his head away, a light blush crawling up his cheeks. “Don’t push it,” he mumbled, then groaned again when Sam started to play with his nipples. His cock let out another stream of precome, rising toward his stomach until it was pressed against it.
“How do you wanna do this?” Sam whispered in Dean’s ear, then sucked on the lobe lightly.
Dean had to remain in control if they wanted it to work, Sam knew. He also knew that if he treated Dean with too much softness, too much thoughtfulness, his brother would be annoyed and hurt by it. It was a delicate balance to obtain.
“I don’t know… No fucking, for sure. We’ll never find a position comfortable enough,” Dean said while he began to stroke Sam’s cock lazily. “And you know the rule, dude.”
“No touching your birth canal.”
“Damn right.”
“Okay, I’ve got an idea. Move over a little.”
Sam took Dean’s place, sitting against the pillow, and parted his legs. He knew Dean liked this position when they were both too tired to fuck or do anything more complicated than just get each other off, but this had another advantage. There was the mirror attached to their dresser against the wall, in which they could see themselves. It wasn’t for the kink of it, even though Sam did kind of get off on the idea of an exhibitionism fantasy. But he thought that this could ground Dean here, in the room where it was just the two of them. He’d only have to cast a quick glance over at the mirror to see that they were alone in the room.
Apparently, the idea pleased Dean as well because he settled himself willingly between Sam’s parted legs, his head resting in the crook of Sam’s neck, his ass pressing on Sam’s erect cock in the most amazing way.
“Yeah,” Dean whispered, moving his hips a little. “I like the way your dick rubs against my asshole.”
“Jesus, Dean. Missed you so much.”
Sam was shaking slightly, running his hands all over Dean’s body, marveling at the generous curves, at the skin peppered with freckles, even on his belly. His happy trail was almost blond, barely visible, and the hair there, as well as on his groin, was softer than when he wasn’t pregnant.
“Fuck, Sam, do something,” Dean sighed.
In the mirror, Sam could see that his lower belly was sticky with precome and that the head of Dean’s length was red, shinning with it. Giving a small jerk of his hips, he wrapped one hand around Dean’s dick and used his other to cup his balls, triggering a loud “oh” from his brother. “Not gonna last long,” Dean panted.
“Me neither.”
Sam didn’t tease, just began to stroke Dean’s cock in a quick rhythm with constant pressure, stopping from time to time just to caress the leaking slit of his length. He was massaging his balls softly, rolling them in the palm of his hand. All the while, Sam was moving his pelvis up and down, short, hard thrusts that were bringing him close to orgasm already.
It went on like this for a couple of minutes, then Sam perceived a change in Dean’s mood. He stopped breathing and tensed all over, but a look at his face told Sam it wasn’t because of an orgasm. Dean’s eyes were huge and lost, his lips reduced to a thin white line. Sam stopped jerking him off without letting go of his cock.
“Hey Dean. Look. It’s just you and me here, just you and me,” he said calmly, and Dean looked in the mirror, meeting Sam’s eyes. He nodded, but his body was still as tense as a violin string.
“M’gonna make you come so hard,” Sam added in the most sexy voice he could manage, because Dean had always had a thing for dirty talk.
He was relieved to feel his brother’s length jerking violently in his hand. “Wanna go on?”
“Fuck yeah,” Dean answered, his voice shaking a little.
He relaxed. In the mirror Sam watched his eyelids become heavy, his mouth part. Sam resumed the stroking of his cock, giving quicker and stronger strokes, pressing his own shaft harder against Dean’s quivering asshole. At this point, Dean completely let go. He started groaning and moaning, asking Sam to make him come in this pleading voice that made Sam crazy each and every single time he heard it.
Dean came with a shout, his back arching suddenly, his thighs taut and trembling. Sam followed, plastering himself against Dean’s ass and back, feeling his brother’s warm semen pulsing out of him and slicking his hand.
“Damn it,” Dean rasped, his head falling back against Sam’s chest.
“Yeah.” Sam panted, kissing the top of his head. “Let’s not wait so long before doing it again. M’tired of jerking off in the shower.”
Dean looked up at him, cheeks red, a cocky grin on his lips. “How many times?”
“What? How many times did I jerk off?”
“Yeah.”
Sam felt himself blush. “Well I don’t…”
“Were you thinking about me?” Dean went on, kissing Sam’s chin.
“Yeah.”
“What were you thinking about?”
“Dean…”
“C’mon, Sammy. Tell me.”
“Taking you from behind while you’re on all fours and uh… putting my hand under and feeling your belly so full and knowing that it’s me, I’m responsible for the swell of it and… Jesus, Dean, I don’t…”
“Thought about fucking you too, going at it hard and fast and hearing you make those small grunts you always make when you're trying so hard to be quiet.”
Sam felt his dick jerk feebly. He ran his hands over Dean’s belly, drawing circular patterns in the sperm that was drying there. Dean moaned and, looking at the mirror, Sam saw the way his hand was wrapped around his soft dick. His other rose to join Sam’s on his stomach, fingers interwoven together and playing on the skin.
They went another round, taking their time, pressed one against the other and murmuring filthy things to each other.
Later that night, while Sam was cleaning the both of them and Dean was drifting off, blinking lazily at him, he murmured a soft, “thank you,” that could’ve been lost if Sam hadn’t been paying attention.
He did pay attention though, more than ever, feeling his love and connection to Dean like small electric sparks running on the path of each nerves.
Feeling like the luckiest guy in the world, despite everything.
Chapter 15