Hub 2 Report - Part Two
Well, once again I found myself writing WAAAY more than I expected, so the following section ONLY contains the Matt & Gareth panel - but it has lots of details and the promised picspammage!
Matt/Gareth Panel
These snippets may or may not be in the right order or 100% accurate, they’re just what I can remember and some notes - if anyone can remember something better if I’ve misheard, please let me know hehe.
A recurring theme right through this talk was regular updates on the rugby scores, since it started around the same time the panel did. There was one Italian girl in the audience, who I think was then taken (by Gareth) as a representative of the whole country (or at least the rugby team…).
They were asked about locations they didn’t like filming in, or were uncomfortable to film in (something like that anyway). Gareth said the room that was the boardroom in s1 and the greenhouse in s2.
GDL: When it was the boardroom, with the table in it, it was so hot because the lights are so close to you - there’s not much of a ceiling in there, and being in there for five hours wasn’t very fun for us all. [pause] That scene didn’t take five hours…
And then the other time I was in there I had to strip off and put my hand down John Barrowman’s pants [cue huge cheer from fangirls].
Matt: As you do.
GDL: Yeah, you have to… it’s in your contract. In /his/ contract. Actually, I touched his cock by mistake… [cue yet another cheer] … average.
Then there was a question that was something about photos circulating with bared body parts (I don’t really remember…), and Gareth said something like:
I don’t really like seeing myself paraded around when I don’t look very nice… but /now/…if it was taken now, I’m quite buff now, so…if I have to do some topless shoots… [cries of ‘take if off!’ from the audience, Matt blatantly encouraging it] …
Matt: so which bit are you least embarrassed about?
GDL: [long pause] Do I have to say any more?
Matt: No, the pause said it all…
Can’t remember if the question was to both of them or just Matt, but it was about which members of the cast they’d like to kiss. Matt started talking about how the whole set was just so sexually charged…
Matt: Everybody’s just kissing, snogging, getting their bits out. They’re just walking around going ‘man, I gotta kiss me somebody’ [lots of impressions of walking up to people and saying a line or two before planting a kiss on them, Gareth joins in]
GDL: Actually… way-hey-hey!
Matt: Actually… /all/ the way-hey-hey… uhh… that wasn’t an answer either, was it? You could have guessed I’m not going to answer that question, but I wouldn’t mind, uh…
Voice from the audience: Gareth’s there!
Matt: I’ve been warned. They warned me… in my little intimate session, which I thought was 30 seconds in the closet… but no it was just a 30 minute chat, but I was warned [turns and looks at Gareth] warned that…
[laugh as Gareth turns to audience with a bit of a ‘why are you looking at /me/?’ face]
GDL: What were you warned?
Matt: I was warned that these things often end in, for some reason, male on male snogs, and [big cheer from audience]
GDL: Oh come on! Is that really all you care about?
Audience: Yes!!!
Matt: Ahhh… the weekend is young
GDL: Meet me in the bar at midnight…
Matt: Don’t stand me up then
GDL: We could recreate that scene couldn’t we, with you and John, dancing and kissing [whoop from audience]
Matt: As long as you promise to look into my eyes…
Gareth: And feel your arse
Matt: Yes…
Gareth (to audience): You can be the extras, you have to stand around in army uniform going ‘look, it’s a couple of poofters!’
(back to Matt) How did you not get beaten up when you went back to Germany? There’d be squadies like ‘Oh my God…’ At the time, in the 40s, you would have had your head smashed in. Especially in Newport.
Matt: Yeah, the extras were all from Newport, so I was kind of worried about the onlookers…
(gets back to the question) Yeah, I would kiss them all, in one big slobbery kissfest. Just smooch ‘em all.
GDL: I’d give it a go but that wasn’t even related to the question.
Matt: Sorry, I just have Eve and Kai and everyone in my head…
Gareth: [pause to look at audience] He’s a bit fruity isn’t he?
Matt: [points at audience] They started it!
[they shake hands]
GDL: It’s all right. You’re one of us.
Matt: So, could you bring me back from the dead then? Cos apparently, I’m not coming back… I’m dead. (Audience: awwww)
GDL: You can always go back in time. It’s a f*cking sci-fi! Doctor, can I borrow your time machine. Just want to get my mate Matt back from the past…
They were asked the fairly typical question of what they were doing at the moment/upcoming. Matt said about working with the Reduced Shakespeare Company for the next few months, but if I remember correctly, he wasn’t doing anything after that. Gareth mentioned the play that he’d talked about during the intimate encounter.
I have no idea what the question was, but they then started demonstrating ‘the white man’s overbite’ (with appropriate hip thrusting actions).
Matt: You know, if you managed to capture that… those two pictures…join them together, you could start a movement
GDL: These guys have probably already done it. And it’s already posted…
Hey, it’s better than an underbite isn’t it? (again with the ‘demonstration’)
Matt: Or someone who doesn’t have a bite
GDL: Nan?
Matt: I can see, Gareth, that that line that some people cross, that line is just a dot to you and you circumnavigate it…
GDL: [points over at the edge of the stage] Oh look! Over there! It’s the line! [waves at ‘the line’] How you doing? Oh, I’m supposed to be /that/ side? Oh… oh, well, I’ll be back later.
Paul (the MC): It’s actually called the Barrowman line…
GDL: If it’s called the Barrowman line then we’re not even close. You have to do all sorts to cross that. It’s like the final frontier.
[goes into deep voice] Jim... Spock… We crossed the Barrowman line
Matt: There’s no going back now. Don’t stop, just keep looking at me that way.
GDL: Touch me, Jim.
Matt: The way you used to. Back in the Andromeda.
GDL: Before your botox. (Audience laugh, then start going ‘ohhhhhhhh…’]
Hey, if you’ve got the money babe, do it! Oh he’s definitely had botox. Anyone here think William Shatner hasn’t had botox? [no one raises hand, at least that I could see] So shut up then.
Matt: Hey, have you heard his album?
GDL: Actually, have you heard Leonard Nimoy’s album? [does an impression of LN’s rendition of ‘If I had a Hammer’] And William Shatner, he does the ‘once more into the breach’ speech - to music. [does another impression of this]. It’s slightly um… oh it’s terrible.
Matt: You know, /I’m/ going to release an album. Fuck it.
GDL: I’ve released an album. [cheers from audience]
It was around this point that Paul announced that anyone who hadn’t had Eve’s autograph yet should go now because she was only here for that day. A few people must have left as Gareth called ‘Well thank you very much at the back!’ Matt stood up and started to get off the stage, going ‘Actually, I need her autograph…’
Gareth was then asked what his favourite song was.
GDL: Of all time? Probably… oooh… Either Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin, or Stickfist by Tool.
Matt: Dancing Queen, by ABBA [cue audience laugh]
GDL: No.
Someone in audience: Labyrinth!
GDL: Oh yeah, there’s Labyrinth as well, yeah, but it’s not my favourite song /ever/, Jesus. My favourite movie songs ever, they’re up there.
At one point, I really don't remember where, but their answers were getting smuttier and smuttier at the time, they called out and asked Paul for 'less smutty questions, please' - despite the fact that they were giving filthy answers even to innocent questions... they wanted to reach the Barrowman line clearly.
After a score update, where Wales were winning, Matt wanted to clarify something about rugby…
Matt: Is this that game with all the really beefy men who run around in really flimsy shorts, and you get a try when you don’t kick it, or you kick it but don’t roll it, or… I don’t do sports.
GDL: It’s a bit like American Football, but without the pussy pads.
Matt: I’d like to see you say that to anyone on the front line of the Dallas Cowboys. With all their gear.
GDL: [points at plaster on his forehead] How do you think I got this? You should see them.
Matt: Ah but you see, if you were wearing a helmet, you would have been protected.
Gareth: What a pussy.
Matt: No, I’m with you actually. I don’t do American Football either. They are a bunch of wusses aren’t they? And it’s so slow.
GDL: Yeah, I mean rugby stops…
Matt: When someone dies.
GDL: … very very rarely. And you, you have time out don’t you.
Matt: Every ten seconds.
GDL: Stop! I need to itch my ass!
Matt: Nasal discharge, oh no!
GDL: Doesn’t baseball take like 5 days as well?
Matt: I don’t know. I don’t do sports…
Question for Gareth - have you used a stopwatch recently?
Matt looks confused about the huge cheer this got…
GDL: The stopwatch is this whole sexual thing. I got given a stopwatch as a present, and yes, I did use it the other day. [cheers from audience followed by a pause] I boiled an egg. It was perfect. Hard on the outside, soft in the middle.
[another pause as audience laughs]
Someone in the back: How many minutes?
GDL: [thinks for a second] Five, if they’ve been in the fridge. Three if they haven’t.
Matt: That’s worth writing down [mimes doing so] Gareth says…
GDL: And then of course the effect of the size. I like to knock it back and forth thirty seconds…
Then it got to the final question, which Paul preceded with the words ‘as we head close to the Barrowman line…’ at which point they got to their feet and various actions were mimed with the microphone… (see pics)
GDL: We’re nearly there! Look! It’s there! It’s within reach!
Last question, Gareth was asked if he enjoyed exploring the darker side of Ianto during the episode ‘Adam’.
GDL: Yes. I do a lot of playing the dark anguished characters for some reason, with the exception of Macbeth, and I think Henry V, I’ve always been quite attracted to that character, I think that’s a great character [quoted a bunch of lines from the play]. Yeah, definitely, I like darker characters, and I think there’s more of Ianto, more hidden depths of anguish to bring to the surface, which they are in season 3 as well.
And that was the end of the panel, but then just as they were standing up, Gareth put his mike down on his chair, grabbed Matt and planted one on him. Matt then proceeded to do a little dance before running after Gareth…
And now for pics... mine aren't great as I still haven't quite figured out my new camera, but some are just about decent... Use them if you wish, as long as you give me credit for them.
Italy went ahead in the rugby - Gareth isn't pleased.
Gareth showing off his 'buffness'
Matt wanted to snog everyone on set...
These guys spent a lot of time staring at each other, and they played off each other really well.
Matt and Gareth copying actions of people at the front when it is pointed out that 'Gareth is right there'
Matt says he's been warned how these things end up...
You're One Of Us...
Isn't He Handsome? (says Gareth)
Matt demonstrates the 'white man's underbite'
Gareth does the overbite
And then there's the no-bite
And Matt can't take any more...
Look - there's the line!
Oh, I'm supposed to be on /that/ side?
Gareth doing his Leonard Nimoy 'If I Had a Hammer'
'I've released an album'
Actually, I need Eve's autograph...
Gareth not impressed with Matt's 'Dancing Queen' suggestion
Wales are ahead again in the Rugby - Gareth is pleased
Rugby - with the flimsy shorts...
Time out for an itchy ass
Italy go ahead again...
Matt confused by the 'stopwatch' reference
It's a whole sexual thing...
Matt takes note of Gareth's egg boiling tips
They really want to reach the Barrowman line...
Because they're so close!
Come here...
Matt does a little celebratory dance
The rest of Saturday's panels will hopefully follow soon!
Matt/Gareth Panel
These snippets may or may not be in the right order or 100% accurate, they’re just what I can remember and some notes - if anyone can remember something better if I’ve misheard, please let me know hehe.
A recurring theme right through this talk was regular updates on the rugby scores, since it started around the same time the panel did. There was one Italian girl in the audience, who I think was then taken (by Gareth) as a representative of the whole country (or at least the rugby team…).
They were asked about locations they didn’t like filming in, or were uncomfortable to film in (something like that anyway). Gareth said the room that was the boardroom in s1 and the greenhouse in s2.
GDL: When it was the boardroom, with the table in it, it was so hot because the lights are so close to you - there’s not much of a ceiling in there, and being in there for five hours wasn’t very fun for us all. [pause] That scene didn’t take five hours…
And then the other time I was in there I had to strip off and put my hand down John Barrowman’s pants [cue huge cheer from fangirls].
Matt: As you do.
GDL: Yeah, you have to… it’s in your contract. In /his/ contract. Actually, I touched his cock by mistake… [cue yet another cheer] … average.
Then there was a question that was something about photos circulating with bared body parts (I don’t really remember…), and Gareth said something like:
I don’t really like seeing myself paraded around when I don’t look very nice… but /now/…if it was taken now, I’m quite buff now, so…if I have to do some topless shoots… [cries of ‘take if off!’ from the audience, Matt blatantly encouraging it] …
Matt: so which bit are you least embarrassed about?
GDL: [long pause] Do I have to say any more?
Matt: No, the pause said it all…
Can’t remember if the question was to both of them or just Matt, but it was about which members of the cast they’d like to kiss. Matt started talking about how the whole set was just so sexually charged…
Matt: Everybody’s just kissing, snogging, getting their bits out. They’re just walking around going ‘man, I gotta kiss me somebody’ [lots of impressions of walking up to people and saying a line or two before planting a kiss on them, Gareth joins in]
GDL: Actually… way-hey-hey!
Matt: Actually… /all/ the way-hey-hey… uhh… that wasn’t an answer either, was it? You could have guessed I’m not going to answer that question, but I wouldn’t mind, uh…
Voice from the audience: Gareth’s there!
Matt: I’ve been warned. They warned me… in my little intimate session, which I thought was 30 seconds in the closet… but no it was just a 30 minute chat, but I was warned [turns and looks at Gareth] warned that…
[laugh as Gareth turns to audience with a bit of a ‘why are you looking at /me/?’ face]
GDL: What were you warned?
Matt: I was warned that these things often end in, for some reason, male on male snogs, and [big cheer from audience]
GDL: Oh come on! Is that really all you care about?
Audience: Yes!!!
Matt: Ahhh… the weekend is young
GDL: Meet me in the bar at midnight…
Matt: Don’t stand me up then
GDL: We could recreate that scene couldn’t we, with you and John, dancing and kissing [whoop from audience]
Matt: As long as you promise to look into my eyes…
Gareth: And feel your arse
Matt: Yes…
Gareth (to audience): You can be the extras, you have to stand around in army uniform going ‘look, it’s a couple of poofters!’
(back to Matt) How did you not get beaten up when you went back to Germany? There’d be squadies like ‘Oh my God…’ At the time, in the 40s, you would have had your head smashed in. Especially in Newport.
Matt: Yeah, the extras were all from Newport, so I was kind of worried about the onlookers…
(gets back to the question) Yeah, I would kiss them all, in one big slobbery kissfest. Just smooch ‘em all.
GDL: I’d give it a go but that wasn’t even related to the question.
Matt: Sorry, I just have Eve and Kai and everyone in my head…
Gareth: [pause to look at audience] He’s a bit fruity isn’t he?
Matt: [points at audience] They started it!
[they shake hands]
GDL: It’s all right. You’re one of us.
Matt: So, could you bring me back from the dead then? Cos apparently, I’m not coming back… I’m dead. (Audience: awwww)
GDL: You can always go back in time. It’s a f*cking sci-fi! Doctor, can I borrow your time machine. Just want to get my mate Matt back from the past…
They were asked the fairly typical question of what they were doing at the moment/upcoming. Matt said about working with the Reduced Shakespeare Company for the next few months, but if I remember correctly, he wasn’t doing anything after that. Gareth mentioned the play that he’d talked about during the intimate encounter.
I have no idea what the question was, but they then started demonstrating ‘the white man’s overbite’ (with appropriate hip thrusting actions).
Matt: You know, if you managed to capture that… those two pictures…join them together, you could start a movement
GDL: These guys have probably already done it. And it’s already posted…
Hey, it’s better than an underbite isn’t it? (again with the ‘demonstration’)
Matt: Or someone who doesn’t have a bite
GDL: Nan?
Matt: I can see, Gareth, that that line that some people cross, that line is just a dot to you and you circumnavigate it…
GDL: [points over at the edge of the stage] Oh look! Over there! It’s the line! [waves at ‘the line’] How you doing? Oh, I’m supposed to be /that/ side? Oh… oh, well, I’ll be back later.
Paul (the MC): It’s actually called the Barrowman line…
GDL: If it’s called the Barrowman line then we’re not even close. You have to do all sorts to cross that. It’s like the final frontier.
[goes into deep voice] Jim... Spock… We crossed the Barrowman line
Matt: There’s no going back now. Don’t stop, just keep looking at me that way.
GDL: Touch me, Jim.
Matt: The way you used to. Back in the Andromeda.
GDL: Before your botox. (Audience laugh, then start going ‘ohhhhhhhh…’]
Hey, if you’ve got the money babe, do it! Oh he’s definitely had botox. Anyone here think William Shatner hasn’t had botox? [no one raises hand, at least that I could see] So shut up then.
Matt: Hey, have you heard his album?
GDL: Actually, have you heard Leonard Nimoy’s album? [does an impression of LN’s rendition of ‘If I had a Hammer’] And William Shatner, he does the ‘once more into the breach’ speech - to music. [does another impression of this]. It’s slightly um… oh it’s terrible.
Matt: You know, /I’m/ going to release an album. Fuck it.
GDL: I’ve released an album. [cheers from audience]
It was around this point that Paul announced that anyone who hadn’t had Eve’s autograph yet should go now because she was only here for that day. A few people must have left as Gareth called ‘Well thank you very much at the back!’ Matt stood up and started to get off the stage, going ‘Actually, I need her autograph…’
Gareth was then asked what his favourite song was.
GDL: Of all time? Probably… oooh… Either Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin, or Stickfist by Tool.
Matt: Dancing Queen, by ABBA [cue audience laugh]
GDL: No.
Someone in audience: Labyrinth!
GDL: Oh yeah, there’s Labyrinth as well, yeah, but it’s not my favourite song /ever/, Jesus. My favourite movie songs ever, they’re up there.
At one point, I really don't remember where, but their answers were getting smuttier and smuttier at the time, they called out and asked Paul for 'less smutty questions, please' - despite the fact that they were giving filthy answers even to innocent questions... they wanted to reach the Barrowman line clearly.
After a score update, where Wales were winning, Matt wanted to clarify something about rugby…
Matt: Is this that game with all the really beefy men who run around in really flimsy shorts, and you get a try when you don’t kick it, or you kick it but don’t roll it, or… I don’t do sports.
GDL: It’s a bit like American Football, but without the pussy pads.
Matt: I’d like to see you say that to anyone on the front line of the Dallas Cowboys. With all their gear.
GDL: [points at plaster on his forehead] How do you think I got this? You should see them.
Matt: Ah but you see, if you were wearing a helmet, you would have been protected.
Gareth: What a pussy.
Matt: No, I’m with you actually. I don’t do American Football either. They are a bunch of wusses aren’t they? And it’s so slow.
GDL: Yeah, I mean rugby stops…
Matt: When someone dies.
GDL: … very very rarely. And you, you have time out don’t you.
Matt: Every ten seconds.
GDL: Stop! I need to itch my ass!
Matt: Nasal discharge, oh no!
GDL: Doesn’t baseball take like 5 days as well?
Matt: I don’t know. I don’t do sports…
Question for Gareth - have you used a stopwatch recently?
Matt looks confused about the huge cheer this got…
GDL: The stopwatch is this whole sexual thing. I got given a stopwatch as a present, and yes, I did use it the other day. [cheers from audience followed by a pause] I boiled an egg. It was perfect. Hard on the outside, soft in the middle.
[another pause as audience laughs]
Someone in the back: How many minutes?
GDL: [thinks for a second] Five, if they’ve been in the fridge. Three if they haven’t.
Matt: That’s worth writing down [mimes doing so] Gareth says…
GDL: And then of course the effect of the size. I like to knock it back and forth thirty seconds…
Then it got to the final question, which Paul preceded with the words ‘as we head close to the Barrowman line…’ at which point they got to their feet and various actions were mimed with the microphone… (see pics)
GDL: We’re nearly there! Look! It’s there! It’s within reach!
Last question, Gareth was asked if he enjoyed exploring the darker side of Ianto during the episode ‘Adam’.
GDL: Yes. I do a lot of playing the dark anguished characters for some reason, with the exception of Macbeth, and I think Henry V, I’ve always been quite attracted to that character, I think that’s a great character [quoted a bunch of lines from the play]. Yeah, definitely, I like darker characters, and I think there’s more of Ianto, more hidden depths of anguish to bring to the surface, which they are in season 3 as well.
And that was the end of the panel, but then just as they were standing up, Gareth put his mike down on his chair, grabbed Matt and planted one on him. Matt then proceeded to do a little dance before running after Gareth…
And now for pics... mine aren't great as I still haven't quite figured out my new camera, but some are just about decent... Use them if you wish, as long as you give me credit for them.
Italy went ahead in the rugby - Gareth isn't pleased.
Gareth showing off his 'buffness'
Matt wanted to snog everyone on set...
These guys spent a lot of time staring at each other, and they played off each other really well.
Matt and Gareth copying actions of people at the front when it is pointed out that 'Gareth is right there'
Matt says he's been warned how these things end up...
You're One Of Us...
Isn't He Handsome? (says Gareth)
Matt demonstrates the 'white man's underbite'
Gareth does the overbite
And then there's the no-bite
And Matt can't take any more...
Look - there's the line!
Oh, I'm supposed to be on /that/ side?
Gareth doing his Leonard Nimoy 'If I Had a Hammer'
'I've released an album'
Actually, I need Eve's autograph...
Gareth not impressed with Matt's 'Dancing Queen' suggestion
Wales are ahead again in the Rugby - Gareth is pleased
Rugby - with the flimsy shorts...
Time out for an itchy ass
Italy go ahead again...
Matt confused by the 'stopwatch' reference
It's a whole sexual thing...
Matt takes note of Gareth's egg boiling tips
They really want to reach the Barrowman line...
Because they're so close!
Come here...
Matt does a little celebratory dance
The rest of Saturday's panels will hopefully follow soon!