i dont know what kind of a post this is going to turn out to be....
I am not sure if any of you watch the news but if you did, you might have heard about the U.S.S San Francisco and how it hit aground in the south pacific.
147 men were aboard the sub....
25 men were injured
one man killed...
If any of you know me...u heard me talk about my ex boyfriend joe. He was the only one killed aboard the U.S.S San Francisco.
I had received the news about 3 days ago from ash and since then it has been on my mind all the time. I still cant figure out my emotions. This is one of the most shocking deaths for me.
As some of you know what happened, this is the reason for my confusion on my feelings. I am finding myself being more upset than angry or relieved. Everyone has said to me that i should be relieved and for once in the past 3 years might be able to not be scared anymore.
Im not scared anymore but that also doesnt mean that i am relieved. I could never feel relief over death. I am SO sad for his family.
The worst part of this whole thing is that a year ago I had told ferg that i would give anything to be able to talk to joe and see him in person, just to ask what happened that night. I wanted answers. Unfortunately i was too much of a baby to call him and now i am kicking myself in the ass for it. I will never get closure, its too late.
All i can do is just put this in the past. If i dwell over his death its gonna fuck me over. I need to look at the more important things.
Sorry guys for the "interesting" post. Off to go watch some tv. have a GREAT day guys :)
147 men were aboard the sub....
25 men were injured
one man killed...
If any of you know me...u heard me talk about my ex boyfriend joe. He was the only one killed aboard the U.S.S San Francisco.
I had received the news about 3 days ago from ash and since then it has been on my mind all the time. I still cant figure out my emotions. This is one of the most shocking deaths for me.
As some of you know what happened, this is the reason for my confusion on my feelings. I am finding myself being more upset than angry or relieved. Everyone has said to me that i should be relieved and for once in the past 3 years might be able to not be scared anymore.
Im not scared anymore but that also doesnt mean that i am relieved. I could never feel relief over death. I am SO sad for his family.
The worst part of this whole thing is that a year ago I had told ferg that i would give anything to be able to talk to joe and see him in person, just to ask what happened that night. I wanted answers. Unfortunately i was too much of a baby to call him and now i am kicking myself in the ass for it. I will never get closure, its too late.
All i can do is just put this in the past. If i dwell over his death its gonna fuck me over. I need to look at the more important things.
Sorry guys for the "interesting" post. Off to go watch some tv. have a GREAT day guys :)