Yesterday my jeans ripped. They were getting a bit old, the denim had relaxed and now they needed a belt as they hung a little too loose. They looked less smart, and more daggy. But they were jeans and they were super comfortable! But as I stood up from a length of study, I noticed a hole just under the right back pocket. Not a hole - a tear. And it got bigger as the day continued. They would need to be replaced.
I used to like clothes shopping. New clothes is fun and I like wearing things that flatter me and get me that much closer to the elusive feminine ideology. But not so much any more. Especially jeans. Jeans are so hard to buy because they're made for people with narrow thighs and small bottoms. Granted, I am not fat in the slightest (unless you ask me during a particular time of the month - and no convincing will change my mind), but the way my body is shaped makes it difficult. So I do not relish the experience.
I complained (probably too much) to James and he graciously came with me. But before we went into the first shop, he said we should pray. So we did. I confronted my selfish pride in wanting to conform to the patterns of this world in regard to fashion. I confronted my complaining attitude - God made my body after all, and I should be thankful for it. So I thanked God for making my body, that is capable of all sorts of things, like climbing, jumping, eating and all sorts of things that need a body. And I asked that He would provide a pair of jeans I'd feel comfortable in - both physically comfortable, and emotionally as I know that they look good and flatter me.
In the first shop, the sales lady asked me what I was after, and she brought me a few pairs of jeans to try on. Turns out I must have lost a little bit of weight since last buying jeans! I stuck with what I knew I'd be comfortable with (avoiding the temptation to try on skinny jeans - just in case they fit me this time). There were a pair that were nice, but were a little too low. The second place we went to had a good pair that weren't too low, weren't made of stretch denim, and were sensibly wide leg (not super-wide leg). And James came with me to pay them because he knows that I didn't like spending so much money. He is very generous.
I am very thankful for this shopping trip. We bought exactly what we came for. There was no opportunity to get depressed about my body's lack of skinny jean suitability because I realigned my thinking first. Both by talking about my concerns (alternatively, complaining) with James first, then praying about it. Now I just need to work on being content with what God has given me and taking good care of it. I measure myself with other people when it comes to appearance - because it's so easy to do!! Whether I measure myself favourable (pride), or unfavourable (self pity), both are inherently sinful. Both are taking my eyes of the person I should be seeking to emulate - Jesus!
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4
So that's what I learnt today. God is doing good work in me - I don't mean that proudly. But recently he has graciously let me see my progress. It's interesting though, that good work is only being done when I pray about it, and when I've people (James) to encourage me towards it.
I am very blessed!