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tear me out of control..i want to feel it break me in half. i want to watch it rip me apart. i want to hear my heartbeat stop. i wont deny it, i wont hide it, and i definetly wont fight it. ive been waiting for it, hoping for it...fuckign counting on it
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Don't worry Tonto. You'll find one that doesn't make you want to bite the curb. I think you should really take a momement to sit down and do this...
Write down what you want out of life. Everything you can think of, down to the white pickett fence.... Then,
Figure out what you need to do to get these things.
Fuck what your parents want.
Fuck what people expect of you.
Just figure out what YOU want. And whats going to make you happy.
Not just content or getting by... Actually fucking happy.
You can't rely on or look to anyone else to make you happy, because eventually that will just blow up in your face. Which you should know already by now. You have to be happy with yourself and where you are going in life first. Then its alot easier to worry about someone else.
You have people that care about you. That sorta goes without saying. So you're not alone unless you make yourself that way. I know I am probably not the closest friend you have had, but I have known you the longest out of everyone I still talk to. And for that matter, there has never been an ounce of drama bullshit between us. So I find that to be a pretty good accomplishment in itself..
Maybe this will help, maybe this won't. If you don't like what I am saying or I am missing the point I am sorry. I really am. Take it as a grain of salt. I suck with this shit anyway.
I hope I helped atleast a smidge.
Either way. You have my cellphone number. I'm always a call away.
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