(no subject)
So the latest December Hell news:
My aunt decided my dogs needed their nails clipped and their shots done.
Alright, so one of my dogs is a massive hound mix who weighs as much as a person, and my other one is a border collie.
This went as well as expected.
So between my entire bathroom being renoed and family all over the house, my aunt and I (why did she even come?) took the dogs in. We were there on time, but we waited for 45 minutes for our appointment. I told her at that point if they didn't see us within 5, I was bailing and getting a new vet. Suddenly the vet tech SITTING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH US THE WHOLE TIME AS I HAD TO RESTRAIN MY 90 LB DOG WITH MY LEGS AND ARMS asked if I just wanted their nails done.
Now, I have a certain level of tolerance in my old age. It was well exceeded by this point. My border collie was drooling and flipping out by watching the traffic go by out the glass doors (bad seating choice), also the last time we were at the vet's she got a bath and it took me, a tech, and a male vet twice my size to manage it. My hound dog was screaming and whining the whole time and managed to wedge her dumb ass under the bench I was sitting on in an attempt to escape me.
They got their nails done. It was free because I almost lost my goddamned mind at these people. I was polite about it, but I did explain I made an APPOINTMENT which is something one keeps on both ends.
My aunt kept telling me not to complain, that it was rude, and I was like bitch, please, who is rude here?
*
Now let's discuss cussing.
Since I came back to the south, I have been rather abruptly aware that women are not allowed to use foul language again. It's uncouth and a sign of ill breeding.
You must be fucking kidding me.
I was told recently not to say goddamn.
Sidenote: in the American South this word is way worse than fuck. It's the cuss to end all cusses and means you have either lost your mind entirely or want to kill someone.
I use it all the time. I think I started when I left home, I can't remember. It still turns heads here. Goddamn coming out of a woman's mouth is like you just started shooting blood from your eye or something.
I really don't give a goddamn.
I especially find criticism of this from MY family galling since I assume the issue most people have is that they are nominal Christians, and we ARE NOT. What's the problem, skybully gonna strike me? Doubt it. Probably get hit by a redneck in an ostentatious Ram truck beforehand.
It is kind of funny in Crime State to have people turn their heads when I say it, though. I laugh every time. Hey, I'm holding a loaf of bread and I said a bad word of an extraction I think is silly, please glare me down! Now, look over there, that guy probably has a meth lab!
Considering the guy who got out of his truck to yell in the window of my car for me not putting my shopping cart in the designated area which was nonexistent (Publix, what is that about?) I'm starting to think Florida IS as crazy as Australia. (Btw, I told that guy to fuck off, so it's relevant to this portion of the post.)
*
Since I moved home:
Knocked over a brick mailbox with my car.
Been threatened by Spring Breakers who thought they could bring it (hahaha, you loons) in a Circle K.
Almost killed on a daily basis on the highway right by the house (well, not like outside my house).
Had my car rained in approximately 100 times.
Got in a fight in a Wal-Mart.
Misdiagnosed and put in the hospital.
Been to three funerals, one at which my skirt fell off.
Had to pick up my uncle from the beach after he ran 20 miles and couldn't drive his car.
Mom also knocked over the mailbox.
House struck by lightning.
Three babies born in my family (none mine).
Constant allergies since global warming has confused the flora.
Spent most of the year in a bathing suit, sunglasses, and flip flops.
WELCOME TO FLORIDA
My aunt decided my dogs needed their nails clipped and their shots done.
Alright, so one of my dogs is a massive hound mix who weighs as much as a person, and my other one is a border collie.
This went as well as expected.
So between my entire bathroom being renoed and family all over the house, my aunt and I (why did she even come?) took the dogs in. We were there on time, but we waited for 45 minutes for our appointment. I told her at that point if they didn't see us within 5, I was bailing and getting a new vet. Suddenly the vet tech SITTING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH US THE WHOLE TIME AS I HAD TO RESTRAIN MY 90 LB DOG WITH MY LEGS AND ARMS asked if I just wanted their nails done.
Now, I have a certain level of tolerance in my old age. It was well exceeded by this point. My border collie was drooling and flipping out by watching the traffic go by out the glass doors (bad seating choice), also the last time we were at the vet's she got a bath and it took me, a tech, and a male vet twice my size to manage it. My hound dog was screaming and whining the whole time and managed to wedge her dumb ass under the bench I was sitting on in an attempt to escape me.
They got their nails done. It was free because I almost lost my goddamned mind at these people. I was polite about it, but I did explain I made an APPOINTMENT which is something one keeps on both ends.
My aunt kept telling me not to complain, that it was rude, and I was like bitch, please, who is rude here?
*
Now let's discuss cussing.
Since I came back to the south, I have been rather abruptly aware that women are not allowed to use foul language again. It's uncouth and a sign of ill breeding.
You must be fucking kidding me.
I was told recently not to say goddamn.
Sidenote: in the American South this word is way worse than fuck. It's the cuss to end all cusses and means you have either lost your mind entirely or want to kill someone.
I use it all the time. I think I started when I left home, I can't remember. It still turns heads here. Goddamn coming out of a woman's mouth is like you just started shooting blood from your eye or something.
I really don't give a goddamn.
I especially find criticism of this from MY family galling since I assume the issue most people have is that they are nominal Christians, and we ARE NOT. What's the problem, skybully gonna strike me? Doubt it. Probably get hit by a redneck in an ostentatious Ram truck beforehand.
It is kind of funny in Crime State to have people turn their heads when I say it, though. I laugh every time. Hey, I'm holding a loaf of bread and I said a bad word of an extraction I think is silly, please glare me down! Now, look over there, that guy probably has a meth lab!
Considering the guy who got out of his truck to yell in the window of my car for me not putting my shopping cart in the designated area which was nonexistent (Publix, what is that about?) I'm starting to think Florida IS as crazy as Australia. (Btw, I told that guy to fuck off, so it's relevant to this portion of the post.)
*
Since I moved home:
Knocked over a brick mailbox with my car.
Been threatened by Spring Breakers who thought they could bring it (hahaha, you loons) in a Circle K.
Almost killed on a daily basis on the highway right by the house (well, not like outside my house).
Had my car rained in approximately 100 times.
Got in a fight in a Wal-Mart.
Misdiagnosed and put in the hospital.
Been to three funerals, one at which my skirt fell off.
Had to pick up my uncle from the beach after he ran 20 miles and couldn't drive his car.
Mom also knocked over the mailbox.
House struck by lightning.
Three babies born in my family (none mine).
Constant allergies since global warming has confused the flora.
Spent most of the year in a bathing suit, sunglasses, and flip flops.
WELCOME TO FLORIDA