A Sacred Call to Duty:
It has been brought to my attention that today is "Pancake Day". Thus I call upon you all to do your Christian Duty and EAT ALL THE JUNK FOOD YOU CAN LAY YOUR HANDS ON thus removing the temptation from thy presence in time for the Holy Lenten Fast!
You are, of course, at liberty to recall on the morrow that you are not Christian & are therefore under no particular obligation to eat junk food today & may proceed to acquire more...
but remember:
God sees all
God knows all
& God never forgets!
So don't even think about leaving that last cookie uneaten & don't forget to check your freezer for ice cream.
Thank you & Goodnight.
In the interests of your spiritual (which is far more important than merely physical) health,
Ethlinda
P. S. I did not commit this shameless act of blasphemy. You'll testify to that on Judgment Day, won't you?
P. P. S. God gives bonus points for eating other people's junk food. It is for their own good after all.
You are, of course, at liberty to recall on the morrow that you are not Christian & are therefore under no particular obligation to eat junk food today & may proceed to acquire more...
but remember:
God sees all
God knows all
& God never forgets!
So don't even think about leaving that last cookie uneaten & don't forget to check your freezer for ice cream.
Thank you & Goodnight.
In the interests of your spiritual (which is far more important than merely physical) health,
Ethlinda
P. S. I did not commit this shameless act of blasphemy. You'll testify to that on Judgment Day, won't you?
P. P. S. God gives bonus points for eating other people's junk food. It is for their own good after all.