(no subject)
Thank you everyone for your love and support. I really appreciate it and can't put into words how much it means. I'm feeling better in the sense that I've finally stopped crying and feeling a little bit better mood wise. Joe and I talked yesterday and I sent him a long email telling him how I was feeling. We both want it to work, so after he comes backs from Florida (he leaves Monday and will be gone for a week) we're going to sit down and talk about how we can make it work. We still love each other and still see our future together. We just took it for granted seeing each other and we weren't seeing each other enough. So right now our plan is to set time out of our schedule for each other and get out of the house for a bit. Both of us have said we're taking a break from theatre. So as confident as we both are, he said he was missing me and he was excited that he felt that way, I still have this fear that it won't work out. Unfortunately I have that time to think of things like that. Even if things do go well, we still have a lot to talk about. We can't keep doing this.
I miss him soooo much. He's constantly on my mind and I keep staring at my phone expecting him to call and I have to concentrate when I'm driving not to go there. The upcoming week will be so long. I had bought a ticket to see Beauty and the Beast a long time ago for tonight. I still plan on going. I don't know why since seeing him onstage will probably just make it hurt more, but we're keeping open communication and I don't want to refuse to see him.
I just need the work week to be over and it's only 11 unfortunately. I hope the afternoon goes fast and at least I get to leave early today. I woke up at 5 today, started thinking about things and couldn't shut my mind off, so never fell back asleep. So I can't wait to spend the weekend sleeping.
Yesterday I watched the Southpark episode where Stan and Wendy broke up because I thought it was appropriate. This song started playing and it just explains everything. I downloaded it although i decided not to listen to it too much since it would probably just get me more down. I'm ok, I really am and I know that no matter what happens I will be fine. But right now I just have to work through the sadness.
I also miss my dogs a lot. I saw them yesterday and cried when I first saw them. They let me cuddle with them all I wanted. I won't see them again until Monday. As weird as it is, I'm staying at Joe's house while he's gone. Even with everything that has happened it still is home to me and it feels weird at my mom's. I'm staying there so I can have the whole week with the dogs. I don't even want to start thinking about what will happen if Joe and I do break up and I won't get to be with my dogs everyday. I do know that Blue is sleeping on my pillow and keeping it warm for me. I'll take that as a sign.
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know
Chorus:
I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone
Chorus
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
I miss him soooo much. He's constantly on my mind and I keep staring at my phone expecting him to call and I have to concentrate when I'm driving not to go there. The upcoming week will be so long. I had bought a ticket to see Beauty and the Beast a long time ago for tonight. I still plan on going. I don't know why since seeing him onstage will probably just make it hurt more, but we're keeping open communication and I don't want to refuse to see him.
I just need the work week to be over and it's only 11 unfortunately. I hope the afternoon goes fast and at least I get to leave early today. I woke up at 5 today, started thinking about things and couldn't shut my mind off, so never fell back asleep. So I can't wait to spend the weekend sleeping.
Yesterday I watched the Southpark episode where Stan and Wendy broke up because I thought it was appropriate. This song started playing and it just explains everything. I downloaded it although i decided not to listen to it too much since it would probably just get me more down. I'm ok, I really am and I know that no matter what happens I will be fine. But right now I just have to work through the sadness.
I also miss my dogs a lot. I saw them yesterday and cried when I first saw them. They let me cuddle with them all I wanted. I won't see them again until Monday. As weird as it is, I'm staying at Joe's house while he's gone. Even with everything that has happened it still is home to me and it feels weird at my mom's. I'm staying there so I can have the whole week with the dogs. I don't even want to start thinking about what will happen if Joe and I do break up and I won't get to be with my dogs everyday. I do know that Blue is sleeping on my pillow and keeping it warm for me. I'll take that as a sign.
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know
Chorus:
I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone
Chorus
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?