semblance of normalcy....an illusion?
So amidst all the madness I forgot to mention that I am having some kind of a normal social life....is that weird? I feel weird.
Last Saturday went to Wonderland with meals, 14 hours of continuous fun, we even managed to make fun of the mini coopers while waiting 3 hours for the Italian Job, people were stuck inside and they had to use a crowbar to crack them out, and we just wanted to get it over with. It wasn't even THAT great, liar/cheaters. Anything that demands that much of my time better be damn good, or has the guts to live up to equal worth. Italian Job wasn't one (and the walberg on videoscreen talking in that nasal voice over and over again bored me to tears). We went on a bunch of kiddy rides after the long wait and wasted so much money on games, something I always wanted to do! I won a purple care bear, lol, it's tiny but I love it. :) We also got funnel cake...which was heaveness. And these awesome leather bracelets, each with our name on it. Hers is black and mine is white, with a maple leaf stud on it, so when I get to Japan I can be like "I'm grace and I'm from Canada! *point*".
Sunday went by fast at meals' house, with a gracious breakfast, cruising down lakeshore looking at million dollar homes, wandering Oakville downtown with starbucks latte in hand, shopping at club monaco outlet in Heartland...and a perfect FEAST of a buffet at Town & Country, where they had really great NY steak for Father's day. It was kinda ironic that I had a semi-great father's day with someone else's family. I chose not to think about it.
Also met up with Terry who is back from Ireland, and a bunch of old friends from Mac on Tuesday. Jon, Terry, Kap, Erica, Milee and me, we joked that it was a triple date (lol). Dinner @ Wild Orchid, this fantastic Porgegous (spl?) restaurant on the patio, with sangria and grilled mussels to boot! Everyone was laughing and talking like we've never been apart, and for a while I forgot where I was and what was on my mind. Then we went to Demetries in Burlington for dessert and more chatter, convo just flowed like wine, and before we knew it it was midnight under the starry sky, and we parted in sweet sorrow.
Throughout all this no one noticed, or bothered to ask, about my family. I gues it was normal, because I pretended to be normal, and for a brief period I felt normal, so there really was no reason for anyone to ask....still, I felt a bit of guilt afterwards, like, am I really suppose to be having fun given what's going on? How human is it of me to totally compartamenize my feelings, my emotions like this? Fun Grace this hour, serious Grace that hour, laughing Grace today, somber Grace tomorrow, is this even healthy?
Feel like I'm living a double life, and no one knows it. Everyone kept on making fun of how much of a great lawyer I'm going to be....and mean while I think of the lack of nothing that I can do now and with the legal advocate and I laugh, bitterly.
Training this weekend for Japan in Toronto. the facade continues.
Last Saturday went to Wonderland with meals, 14 hours of continuous fun, we even managed to make fun of the mini coopers while waiting 3 hours for the Italian Job, people were stuck inside and they had to use a crowbar to crack them out, and we just wanted to get it over with. It wasn't even THAT great, liar/cheaters. Anything that demands that much of my time better be damn good, or has the guts to live up to equal worth. Italian Job wasn't one (and the walberg on videoscreen talking in that nasal voice over and over again bored me to tears). We went on a bunch of kiddy rides after the long wait and wasted so much money on games, something I always wanted to do! I won a purple care bear, lol, it's tiny but I love it. :) We also got funnel cake...which was heaveness. And these awesome leather bracelets, each with our name on it. Hers is black and mine is white, with a maple leaf stud on it, so when I get to Japan I can be like "I'm grace and I'm from Canada! *point*".
Sunday went by fast at meals' house, with a gracious breakfast, cruising down lakeshore looking at million dollar homes, wandering Oakville downtown with starbucks latte in hand, shopping at club monaco outlet in Heartland...and a perfect FEAST of a buffet at Town & Country, where they had really great NY steak for Father's day. It was kinda ironic that I had a semi-great father's day with someone else's family. I chose not to think about it.
Also met up with Terry who is back from Ireland, and a bunch of old friends from Mac on Tuesday. Jon, Terry, Kap, Erica, Milee and me, we joked that it was a triple date (lol). Dinner @ Wild Orchid, this fantastic Porgegous (spl?) restaurant on the patio, with sangria and grilled mussels to boot! Everyone was laughing and talking like we've never been apart, and for a while I forgot where I was and what was on my mind. Then we went to Demetries in Burlington for dessert and more chatter, convo just flowed like wine, and before we knew it it was midnight under the starry sky, and we parted in sweet sorrow.
Throughout all this no one noticed, or bothered to ask, about my family. I gues it was normal, because I pretended to be normal, and for a brief period I felt normal, so there really was no reason for anyone to ask....still, I felt a bit of guilt afterwards, like, am I really suppose to be having fun given what's going on? How human is it of me to totally compartamenize my feelings, my emotions like this? Fun Grace this hour, serious Grace that hour, laughing Grace today, somber Grace tomorrow, is this even healthy?
Feel like I'm living a double life, and no one knows it. Everyone kept on making fun of how much of a great lawyer I'm going to be....and mean while I think of the lack of nothing that I can do now and with the legal advocate and I laugh, bitterly.
Training this weekend for Japan in Toronto. the facade continues.