nowhere else to run
wow. scary stuff can happen. and then the focus of your life changes from the petty and stupid to the what-can-i-do-to-survive mode. the sad thing is that i revert to a state of begging. um yeah, and then i bury my thoughts and feelings and then take part in theraputic flirting. but i like my methods. I'm doing well. and yet with all the scary stuff that happens....i still know that life is beautiful. that your brother can be brotherly when he needs to and he does a really great job. that people will hold your hand and then keep the topic of conversation to other things just so you wont have to dwell on it. I know that based on the extreme expediency of the call i got from don that i'm loved and that people are concerned about one another. i love the world....i just hate that some others don't. don't ask guys. I'm not really ready to talk yet. I love you all.