(no subject)
Over the past few days I have slowly developed a great sympathy for slugs, those tongue-like obscenities who lap up the earth with their defiling, lick-like progressions. I was on a train traveling at the speed of slug, at some points even slower (when we would remain motionless for six hours in the middle of nowhere, for instance). When we stopped the first time I thought that perhaps the conductor was giving the slugs a chance to catch up, but when I turned to look out the window and see if they were coming I saw instead a large ball of blubber aimed right at my face.
"Dear god," I whispered. "Have I gone mad?"
I thought that this moment was going to be the first dimming in what would be the fading luxury of my sanity, but it turned out instead to be a more boring replica of the incompetence described in the last few chapters of Atlas Shrugged. The ball was the conductor's stomach and his words were the day's funeral.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said. "I am sorry to report that there is an abandoned train in front of us. We will be delayed for at least an hour."
It wouldn't have been so bad if we hadn't stopped in the middle of a field of dead brown weeds, where a large rusted cylinder sat a few feet from the tracks burning in a hot sea of claws which tried desperately to grasp and frame this last apparatus which gave it its novelty. After an hour a defeated voice rasped over the intercom.
"I'm sorry, but its going to be at least another hour."
Pause.
"Or two."
Longer pause.
"Or three."
It turned out to be six.
Or seven.
At one point I tried to get out of the train and asked one the workers to open the door.
"I can't," he said winking. "That's a long drop and if you fell you could get a good lawyer and sue me." Wink. "Then I'd be out of a job." Wink.
His winks seemed out of place. At least he wasn't a pagan who had to tear the heart out of a sacrifice.
"You know," he would say to his victim as he prepared the alter. "Gorgoth is a fearsome lord." Wink. "And I'm sorry to tell you this but he likes to eat hearts." Wink. "I've never understood that myself as I'm a vegetarian. If I don't give him something to eat soon he's gonna probably send some earth melting fire down to my house and have a few thousend locusts eat my children, so its probably better that I rip your heart out sooner rather then later." Wink.
When we finally got going it was only twenty minutes before we stopped again at a station to let a few passengers out. I began to wonder what was going on when an hour later we hadn't moved. Two hours later I heard someone say that the crew had abandoned the train. Three hours later another crew arrived: The Emergency Crew. Two hours after that we stopped again. There was another abandoned train on the tracks.
"Dear god," I whispered. "Have I gone mad?"
I thought that this moment was going to be the first dimming in what would be the fading luxury of my sanity, but it turned out instead to be a more boring replica of the incompetence described in the last few chapters of Atlas Shrugged. The ball was the conductor's stomach and his words were the day's funeral.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said. "I am sorry to report that there is an abandoned train in front of us. We will be delayed for at least an hour."
It wouldn't have been so bad if we hadn't stopped in the middle of a field of dead brown weeds, where a large rusted cylinder sat a few feet from the tracks burning in a hot sea of claws which tried desperately to grasp and frame this last apparatus which gave it its novelty. After an hour a defeated voice rasped over the intercom.
"I'm sorry, but its going to be at least another hour."
Pause.
"Or two."
Longer pause.
"Or three."
It turned out to be six.
Or seven.
At one point I tried to get out of the train and asked one the workers to open the door.
"I can't," he said winking. "That's a long drop and if you fell you could get a good lawyer and sue me." Wink. "Then I'd be out of a job." Wink.
His winks seemed out of place. At least he wasn't a pagan who had to tear the heart out of a sacrifice.
"You know," he would say to his victim as he prepared the alter. "Gorgoth is a fearsome lord." Wink. "And I'm sorry to tell you this but he likes to eat hearts." Wink. "I've never understood that myself as I'm a vegetarian. If I don't give him something to eat soon he's gonna probably send some earth melting fire down to my house and have a few thousend locusts eat my children, so its probably better that I rip your heart out sooner rather then later." Wink.
When we finally got going it was only twenty minutes before we stopped again at a station to let a few passengers out. I began to wonder what was going on when an hour later we hadn't moved. Two hours later I heard someone say that the crew had abandoned the train. Three hours later another crew arrived: The Emergency Crew. Two hours after that we stopped again. There was another abandoned train on the tracks.