i found this life to be overrated, now won't you help me escape?
i don't get it...why is it that it's so hard to pull your life together sometimes, and then just when you get to that point where everything seems fine, something doesn't work out anymore...i know, i know, things change, i should be used to it by now. but i'm not...as transient as my life has been, you'd think i'd be fine with my hectic life. meh...i think i'm more aggravated with myself than anyone else. it seems like i've become complacent in this never-ending melodrama of my life that's going nowhere. i'm just restless here...i hate being in the same point in my life...did i just contradict myself? i just wonder sometimes at how i'm still so unaccustomed to how things change, and how it aggravates me, yet what i want most in the world is to get out of here, be able to start over where no one knows me. i love that feeling, a chance to redefine yourself, be anyone you want to be, and no one knows different. i think i just don't like how it's been forced on me all this time...i mean, a change of pace to my parents was moving from hudson to port richey. from one nowheresville to another. i want something more than that, always have. ever since i was little, i was all about running around, seeing the world, getting the hell outta whichever small town i happened to be in at the time. always...now it seems like i'll never get anywhere...i used to have such big dreams, i wanted to see the world...i never realized that most dreams never come true. i almost miss that naivete i never had. actually i think that for some small moment i was naive...it just didn't get a chance to be part of my life. meh, shit happens. shit happens, and i realize i'm stuck here forever, caught in this world that means nothing to me, and wanting nothing more than to leave it all behind.