reasons to keep living :)
so many things.
so many changes. and they are all good.
it feels like an endorphin explosion, words aren't enough.
1. fell in love (!) with a man-boy-wild-cat i can actually respect. americans. online dating, man, ffff.
FOR SURE he's bound to break my heart. i know it. but. what do i have to lose? haven't been in love with someone i'm so fascinated with. someone i can hang out with - someone who sees through society like i do. doesn't take shit from anyone. HE WATCHES CARTOONS, WTF?!? someone who can endure intense music that's important to me. someone who can play all the instruments i can play. electronics expert. jodorowsky lover. good taste!!!!! good in bed!!!! wtf.
ugh. i can go on and on.
haven't felt this way since...2004. and it seems to be reciprocated in small doses. it's been verbally confirmed but fears and uncertainty linger here and there but they are distracted by productivity and new york living.
squinting about this still. have this paranoid feeling he will eventually get bored of me. (he probably already is) trusting he is mature than most about that part. i am throwing this fear in the air!
(more about that in future entry)
2. living in a ginormous loft that houses my art studio, with a killer view of the city, with roommates who work in b&h!
3. have my own music studio, own drum kit (and soon, a bass guitar and a bass amp)
4. started a band i really LOVE with my best friend in new york city whom i adore and respect
5. about to start a life-changing "company" that will make my family's life better
6. living in a neighborhood where all my friends are at
7. started biking to and from work
8. started cooking a lot, learning a lot of new recipes that i thought were hard to make.
happy. it's all coming together. :)
so many changes. and they are all good.
it feels like an endorphin explosion, words aren't enough.
1. fell in love (!) with a man-boy-wild-cat i can actually respect. americans. online dating, man, ffff.
FOR SURE he's bound to break my heart. i know it. but. what do i have to lose? haven't been in love with someone i'm so fascinated with. someone i can hang out with - someone who sees through society like i do. doesn't take shit from anyone. HE WATCHES CARTOONS, WTF?!? someone who can endure intense music that's important to me. someone who can play all the instruments i can play. electronics expert. jodorowsky lover. good taste!!!!! good in bed!!!! wtf.
ugh. i can go on and on.
haven't felt this way since...2004. and it seems to be reciprocated in small doses. it's been verbally confirmed but fears and uncertainty linger here and there but they are distracted by productivity and new york living.
squinting about this still. have this paranoid feeling he will eventually get bored of me. (he probably already is) trusting he is mature than most about that part. i am throwing this fear in the air!
(more about that in future entry)
2. living in a ginormous loft that houses my art studio, with a killer view of the city, with roommates who work in b&h!
3. have my own music studio, own drum kit (and soon, a bass guitar and a bass amp)
4. started a band i really LOVE with my best friend in new york city whom i adore and respect
5. about to start a life-changing "company" that will make my family's life better
6. living in a neighborhood where all my friends are at
7. started biking to and from work
8. started cooking a lot, learning a lot of new recipes that i thought were hard to make.
happy. it's all coming together. :)