(no subject)
You know what? I think I've figured out why I'm so damn depressed just now.
For the last few years, there's always been someone in my life who needed help. Joe, Maral, Sophie, Tom, George, William, Keiran, whoever. Someone who was miserable and needed me. Someone I could look after, who I could pay attention to, who I could be there for, who I could help in some way.
Right now, there's no one. Robert's sane and stable, George is still George but there's nothing I can do, no one in my life is unhappy, no one needs me. So that just kind of leaves me with only myself to focus on, and that's bad for me. It makes me introspective, and worse, it makes me search out people who don't need me any more. It makes me think too much and it makes me miserable.
I don't like having too much time to focus on myself.
For the last few years, there's always been someone in my life who needed help. Joe, Maral, Sophie, Tom, George, William, Keiran, whoever. Someone who was miserable and needed me. Someone I could look after, who I could pay attention to, who I could be there for, who I could help in some way.
Right now, there's no one. Robert's sane and stable, George is still George but there's nothing I can do, no one in my life is unhappy, no one needs me. So that just kind of leaves me with only myself to focus on, and that's bad for me. It makes me introspective, and worse, it makes me search out people who don't need me any more. It makes me think too much and it makes me miserable.
I don't like having too much time to focus on myself.