Time Travel, again
Liz and I talked tonight about legs. Very briefly, for only the tiniest fraction of the evening we spent together, but we talked about legs. The surprising straight thinness of boys' legs - to quote her "Boys can pull it off, their legs don't have to swell at the tops to meet their hips," and how she is consistantly dissatisfied with girl's legs, always either unnaturally tiny or just a size or shape too big.
I think legs look like hotdogs, but I'm sure I didn't mention it. I like hotdogs, for the record.
We also watched the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet. The girl who played Juliet was 15 at the time, which is noteworthy if not for the fact that she did a pretty decent job, then at least for the impressive size of her bust during the morning-after, bare-breasts-commin'-atcha scene. Our high school English teacher fast-forwarded through that scene, providing running commentary: "Don't have sex when you're 14, you'll end up committing suicide."
If the movie were filmed again with the actors of today, I'd have Jake and Maggie Gyllanhal play the leads. Liz thought that was a little creepy, and vetoed Maggie, but I stand firm in my choice. Christopher Lloyd would play the Friar, providing comic relief during the more boring and sappy parts (Seriously, imagine him performing the marriage rites), and instead of poison, he would invent a time machine. A little reworking of the death scene might be in order, granted. But worth it! Picture this:
*****Jake, mumbling creepily, in Donnie Darko voice, staring at his presumed to be dead bride/sister:
"..The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss"
(Makes out with lifeless bride/sister)
A dateless bargain to engrossing death!"
(Time travels to the past, to alter it, possibly destroying the space time continuum)
Christopher Lloyd comes running in at the exact moment that Maggie stirs. Christopher starts screaming, and doesn't stop until he flees comically at the sound of footsteps outside the crypt:
"(Great Scott!)I dare no longer stay!"
Maggie: "..Yea noise? Then I'll be brief. Oh happy flux capacitor!"
And then the star-crossed lovers chase each other through time! Tragically!*****
Yes, I've been thinking about this all night.
After watching the movie, and I have to admit that I was feeling inexplicably a little sleepy and silly, we repeatedly re-enacted the death scene, thrusting butter knives into our chests, falling to the ground, and alternately crying things like "Oh happy dagger.. you are serated." I would say that it was the perfect ending to a near-perfect week, were it not Monday.
I am loving this supra-grey-cold weather, it makes my apartment feel like home, and it makes everything outside it look and feel new to me.
Also, I had forgotten how much I enjoy Virginia Woolfe. Her novels are everything reality television wishes it was, in book form. Everything I wish reality television was, I guess, seeing as how reality television only has 1 wish, and that wish is to be inane and stupid, and it has been granted 10,000 fold.
Quote of the evening: "I'll be in the back of your mouth like a root canal." - Somewhat hilarious (but only because he was a pathetic mysogynist) free-style rapper, in reference to his penis.
To be honest, the only thing that could make me happier right now would be pumpkin pie. And to be debt free. Debt Free Pumpkin Pie.
I think legs look like hotdogs, but I'm sure I didn't mention it. I like hotdogs, for the record.
We also watched the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet. The girl who played Juliet was 15 at the time, which is noteworthy if not for the fact that she did a pretty decent job, then at least for the impressive size of her bust during the morning-after, bare-breasts-commin'-atcha scene. Our high school English teacher fast-forwarded through that scene, providing running commentary: "Don't have sex when you're 14, you'll end up committing suicide."
If the movie were filmed again with the actors of today, I'd have Jake and Maggie Gyllanhal play the leads. Liz thought that was a little creepy, and vetoed Maggie, but I stand firm in my choice. Christopher Lloyd would play the Friar, providing comic relief during the more boring and sappy parts (Seriously, imagine him performing the marriage rites), and instead of poison, he would invent a time machine. A little reworking of the death scene might be in order, granted. But worth it! Picture this:
*****Jake, mumbling creepily, in Donnie Darko voice, staring at his presumed to be dead bride/sister:
"..The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss"
(Makes out with lifeless bride/sister)
A dateless bargain to engrossing death!"
(Time travels to the past, to alter it, possibly destroying the space time continuum)
Christopher Lloyd comes running in at the exact moment that Maggie stirs. Christopher starts screaming, and doesn't stop until he flees comically at the sound of footsteps outside the crypt:
"(Great Scott!)I dare no longer stay!"
Maggie: "..Yea noise? Then I'll be brief. Oh happy flux capacitor!"
And then the star-crossed lovers chase each other through time! Tragically!*****
Yes, I've been thinking about this all night.
After watching the movie, and I have to admit that I was feeling inexplicably a little sleepy and silly, we repeatedly re-enacted the death scene, thrusting butter knives into our chests, falling to the ground, and alternately crying things like "Oh happy dagger.. you are serated." I would say that it was the perfect ending to a near-perfect week, were it not Monday.
I am loving this supra-grey-cold weather, it makes my apartment feel like home, and it makes everything outside it look and feel new to me.
Also, I had forgotten how much I enjoy Virginia Woolfe. Her novels are everything reality television wishes it was, in book form. Everything I wish reality television was, I guess, seeing as how reality television only has 1 wish, and that wish is to be inane and stupid, and it has been granted 10,000 fold.
Quote of the evening: "I'll be in the back of your mouth like a root canal." - Somewhat hilarious (but only because he was a pathetic mysogynist) free-style rapper, in reference to his penis.
To be honest, the only thing that could make me happier right now would be pumpkin pie. And to be debt free. Debt Free Pumpkin Pie.