last chances
Now that my moving day is getting so close, I have been making a point to reconnect with some friends around here... something I have been meaning to do for quite some time--who knows how many lj entries I've written in the past year in which I've said something like "I really need to get back out to the music scene" or somesuch? Tonight I made it out to open mic at Jitters Cafe, though I showed up late. I came very close to being a hermit and staying in, but I knew it was possibly my last chance to see my friend Gary (who was hosting tonight), so I put on my big girl panties [do I have that figure of speech right, or am I just being weird?], packed up my guitar, and headed out. I'd kinda forgotten that at Jitters, the performing space is right up front by the door--meaning you can't really sneak in unnoticed by most of the crowd, like you can at Lena's or other places. I had the luck of walking in during some comedian, and being the center of attention for a moment. D'oh! I felt kinda jerkish since there were only a couple people left on the list, and then it would be me--I had hoped to tag on the end of the list when there were just a few stragglers left, not sit in front of the full crowd after not being there for half the performers... but it turned out that a few people came in and played after me, so I didn't end up being that girl. Not that I mind when other people play without staying for the entire night (unless they make a habit of it and have a less-than-humble attitude about it), but I don't like doing that myself. Annnnyway, that's not really important.
So when it was my turn, Gary made up a whole bunch of stuff about how I play a bunch of places and was getting ready for a Northeast tour (his euphemism for me moving to NH), which I admitted straight-up was a pack of lies, and I had not, in fact, played out in almost a year. I only knew two people there besides Gary (the owner, Gina, and another musician named Ryan), so playing old songs seemed fine since the other 10-12 people there hadn't ever heard me, anyway. But I was really nervous... enough to joke about it and before my last song (3 total), say "it's almost over," LOL. I got really nice applause especially after my 2nd song though, so I felt at license to poke fun at myself a bit... even though, generally, admitting your own lack of confidence isn't really a classy thing to do. I just couldn't help myself, haha.
The actual playing was weird. The familiar lack-of-focus was there, where I find myself thinking about the most random and unrelated stuff WHILE playing and singing. Like, at one point I was watching my fretting hand, and I realized "I don't really need to watch my hand, since I just hold this fret position for the entire verse," so I looked up at the walls (since I was too nervous to look at the audience), and started reading the list of teas the cafe served. !! "Green, chamomile... oh shoot. pay attention to what you're doing!!" A few times I literally blanked out on what the next chords/words might be, though I ended up getting them right, just from muscle memory--I just let my mouth form whatever words seemed natural and it worked out. Remembering lyrics via muscle memory seems really kind of bizarre. But at least it worked. Overall, I guess I did okay--probably flubbed up a whole lot of notes on guitar due to nerves, but my voice was fine, and I didn't make any majorly noticeable mistakes. Phew.
Everyone else that played while I was there sounded good--one guy had a really powerful bluesy voice, one girl had excellent songwriting, another guy played great guitar solos/extras when backing up other musicians. There is just so much musical talent everywhere; it's a great thing.
Interestingly enough, I sold 2 CD's--one to that guy Ryan, who seemed like he'd been planning on buying one but hadn't seen me around to do so (unsurprisingly)... and the other, Gina had sold to a customer months ago (and paid me for it tonight). She keeps copies of local artists' CD's at the counter, and was playing my CD on the cafe stereo a lot after I played a gig there last summer. She said she loved it so much that it was rotating in the player for over a month and it got to the point where her employees said "we love her songs, but can we listen to something else?" LOL! So anyway, I ended up making an unexpected $20 (minus the $5 I spent on a smoothie). Can't complain, haha!
Another funny/flattering thing... Gina asked me how old I am, because she thought my CD cover made me look so mature/older that it almost looked like I could be in my 30's, except that she was pretty sure I had to be younger. I know a lot of people shy away from birthdays and age but I for one love it when people think I'm older. I think this is partly because a lot of my friends are in their 30's or older, and I like it when I don't seem like "the young one," even if, technically, I am (and pretty much always have been).
So that was my more-eventful-than-usual night... tomorrow is Lena's, and I'll be playing (piano). It'll probably be my last time playing here before moving, since next week there is no open mic at Lena's and I'm unlikely to drag my guitar out to Daily Grind or wherever my friends end up going instead (assuming they will go anywhere... which I hope they do, since it's my birthday, and my last night before my parents come to help me move, and I want to go out, haha). Friday I'm meeting up with Paul for dinner, after work--haven't seen him in aaaaaaaaaaaages, so that should be nice.
Other than that, I just have 2 days left of work, and then a week to square everything away and pack. yipe.
On a slightly unrelated note, I have been especially grateful for my truest friends lately, who've made me feel loved and appreciated, even if they are far away and/or we don't see much of each other. Some I've not seen in, literally, years. Or there are various other circumstances that nevertheless, do not break true friendships. :) I am a damn lucky girl to have the friends I do. I love and miss you guys. :) /mushy
So when it was my turn, Gary made up a whole bunch of stuff about how I play a bunch of places and was getting ready for a Northeast tour (his euphemism for me moving to NH), which I admitted straight-up was a pack of lies, and I had not, in fact, played out in almost a year. I only knew two people there besides Gary (the owner, Gina, and another musician named Ryan), so playing old songs seemed fine since the other 10-12 people there hadn't ever heard me, anyway. But I was really nervous... enough to joke about it and before my last song (3 total), say "it's almost over," LOL. I got really nice applause especially after my 2nd song though, so I felt at license to poke fun at myself a bit... even though, generally, admitting your own lack of confidence isn't really a classy thing to do. I just couldn't help myself, haha.
The actual playing was weird. The familiar lack-of-focus was there, where I find myself thinking about the most random and unrelated stuff WHILE playing and singing. Like, at one point I was watching my fretting hand, and I realized "I don't really need to watch my hand, since I just hold this fret position for the entire verse," so I looked up at the walls (since I was too nervous to look at the audience), and started reading the list of teas the cafe served. !! "Green, chamomile... oh shoot. pay attention to what you're doing!!" A few times I literally blanked out on what the next chords/words might be, though I ended up getting them right, just from muscle memory--I just let my mouth form whatever words seemed natural and it worked out. Remembering lyrics via muscle memory seems really kind of bizarre. But at least it worked. Overall, I guess I did okay--probably flubbed up a whole lot of notes on guitar due to nerves, but my voice was fine, and I didn't make any majorly noticeable mistakes. Phew.
Everyone else that played while I was there sounded good--one guy had a really powerful bluesy voice, one girl had excellent songwriting, another guy played great guitar solos/extras when backing up other musicians. There is just so much musical talent everywhere; it's a great thing.
Interestingly enough, I sold 2 CD's--one to that guy Ryan, who seemed like he'd been planning on buying one but hadn't seen me around to do so (unsurprisingly)... and the other, Gina had sold to a customer months ago (and paid me for it tonight). She keeps copies of local artists' CD's at the counter, and was playing my CD on the cafe stereo a lot after I played a gig there last summer. She said she loved it so much that it was rotating in the player for over a month and it got to the point where her employees said "we love her songs, but can we listen to something else?" LOL! So anyway, I ended up making an unexpected $20 (minus the $5 I spent on a smoothie). Can't complain, haha!
Another funny/flattering thing... Gina asked me how old I am, because she thought my CD cover made me look so mature/older that it almost looked like I could be in my 30's, except that she was pretty sure I had to be younger. I know a lot of people shy away from birthdays and age but I for one love it when people think I'm older. I think this is partly because a lot of my friends are in their 30's or older, and I like it when I don't seem like "the young one," even if, technically, I am (and pretty much always have been).
So that was my more-eventful-than-usual night... tomorrow is Lena's, and I'll be playing (piano). It'll probably be my last time playing here before moving, since next week there is no open mic at Lena's and I'm unlikely to drag my guitar out to Daily Grind or wherever my friends end up going instead (assuming they will go anywhere... which I hope they do, since it's my birthday, and my last night before my parents come to help me move, and I want to go out, haha). Friday I'm meeting up with Paul for dinner, after work--haven't seen him in aaaaaaaaaaaages, so that should be nice.
Other than that, I just have 2 days left of work, and then a week to square everything away and pack. yipe.
On a slightly unrelated note, I have been especially grateful for my truest friends lately, who've made me feel loved and appreciated, even if they are far away and/or we don't see much of each other. Some I've not seen in, literally, years. Or there are various other circumstances that nevertheless, do not break true friendships. :) I am a damn lucky girl to have the friends I do. I love and miss you guys. :) /mushy