so strange to me
honestly,
all i want
is to be able to find the words
that describe how i feel.
i don't even know.
i am so confused!
it's such an awful and annoying feeling
and i can't explain it
to anyone.
blajfkd.
it's like i'm content and happy
most of the time,
yet i feel like i shouldn't be.
its as though for some reason i know that i should be upset.
and although i definitely have my moments when i am,
for the most part i'm not?
i don't know
that makes no sense!
hahaha...
we'll just take it one day at a time.
because I KNOW this is different
and special from anything i have ever had before.
otherwise, i wouldn't feel like this.
i just know it.
chicago tomorrow.
it hasn't hit me yet.
nothing has.
thursday is christmas?
who knew?!
i am excited though for chicago.
i just want to see martha and nanda.
and sam. he's single now.
and wil? oh wil...
such a strange phase in my life.
i don't plan on seeing or talking to him
and that is fine w/ me.
which is a goooood thing.
no more of this nonsense.
i am so excited to go to the city,
and to see my cousin.
her wedding pics came in!
woooo!
ooooh marc.
he was sooo hott.
maybe i will get to see him when i go back. : )
now THAT would be nice.
i get the shagon wagon!
woop woop!
so excited, not even funny.
i hope that this will help me to "clear" my mind
yet at the same time i don't want anything to change.
if he changes. ah. i can not even think about it!
i am so weird.
but you never know,
maybe when i come back i will have changed,
and he will have changed,
and we will both be happy.
what am i talking about?
i will be gone for 8 days?
go home rachel.
all i want
is to be able to find the words
that describe how i feel.
i don't even know.
i am so confused!
it's such an awful and annoying feeling
and i can't explain it
to anyone.
blajfkd.
it's like i'm content and happy
most of the time,
yet i feel like i shouldn't be.
its as though for some reason i know that i should be upset.
and although i definitely have my moments when i am,
for the most part i'm not?
i don't know
that makes no sense!
hahaha...
we'll just take it one day at a time.
because I KNOW this is different
and special from anything i have ever had before.
otherwise, i wouldn't feel like this.
i just know it.
chicago tomorrow.
it hasn't hit me yet.
nothing has.
thursday is christmas?
who knew?!
i am excited though for chicago.
i just want to see martha and nanda.
and sam. he's single now.
and wil? oh wil...
such a strange phase in my life.
i don't plan on seeing or talking to him
and that is fine w/ me.
which is a goooood thing.
no more of this nonsense.
i am so excited to go to the city,
and to see my cousin.
her wedding pics came in!
woooo!
ooooh marc.
he was sooo hott.
maybe i will get to see him when i go back. : )
now THAT would be nice.
i get the shagon wagon!
woop woop!
so excited, not even funny.
i hope that this will help me to "clear" my mind
yet at the same time i don't want anything to change.
if he changes. ah. i can not even think about it!
i am so weird.
but you never know,
maybe when i come back i will have changed,
and he will have changed,
and we will both be happy.
what am i talking about?
i will be gone for 8 days?
go home rachel.