The Hedgehog Song
Nanny Ogg out of Wyrd Sisters (by Terry Pratchett) is always singing "The Hedgehog Song",much to the disgust of Granny Weatherwax.
In honour of the local production of Wyrd Sisters I'm involved with (performing August 14 through to August 25 at the Tuggeranong Arts Centre) I've jotted down the words as of the version as performed by Martin Pearson. (With chords!)
The Hedgehog Song
Bestiality may be a fun thing to do
But I have to a warning to say unto you:
With almost all animals, you’ll have ball
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
/D G/A D/D G/A - D/
Chorus:
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
/D G D/D A D/
A moose is amusing, a squid quite confusing
Or roger a rhino if you’re ready for bruising,
Or mountin' a mountain goat (careful, don't fall!)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
A lion is frisky, a leopard is fun,
But if you choose the cheetah you may have to run.
You can fondle the fleas at the flea-market stall,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The stickles and prickles will maul and appall
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
You can hump a baboon if it doesn't hump you
And a wildebeest's really got something quite gnu
Carouse with a louse if your weenie is small
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
If you meet Nanny Ogg just remember to thank her
For warning all wayfarers waylaid in Lancre.
And remember to caution your poor foreign guest
Il Porcupino Nil Sodomy Est!
You can bugger a bat if you hang upside down,
You can hump with a whale but there's a chance you might drown,
You can try with a dragon but the risk is not small
Oh, the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The quills on his back are so awfully thick
They’ll poke perforations all over your prick.
There’s nowhere to aim when he’s curled in a ball
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
You can root with a wombat right here in Australia
But don’t be alarmed by our odd mammalia
You didn’t think our beasts would be friendly didya?
You’ve never know pain till you’ve shagged an echidna.
There are hundreds of more verses, but these seemed like a good selection.
In honour of the local production of Wyrd Sisters I'm involved with (performing August 14 through to August 25 at the Tuggeranong Arts Centre) I've jotted down the words as of the version as performed by Martin Pearson. (With chords!)
The Hedgehog Song
Bestiality may be a fun thing to do
But I have to a warning to say unto you:
With almost all animals, you’ll have ball
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
/D G/A D/D G/A - D/
Chorus:
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
/D G D/D A D/
A moose is amusing, a squid quite confusing
Or roger a rhino if you’re ready for bruising,
Or mountin' a mountain goat (careful, don't fall!)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
A lion is frisky, a leopard is fun,
But if you choose the cheetah you may have to run.
You can fondle the fleas at the flea-market stall,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The stickles and prickles will maul and appall
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
You can hump a baboon if it doesn't hump you
And a wildebeest's really got something quite gnu
Carouse with a louse if your weenie is small
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
If you meet Nanny Ogg just remember to thank her
For warning all wayfarers waylaid in Lancre.
And remember to caution your poor foreign guest
Il Porcupino Nil Sodomy Est!
You can bugger a bat if you hang upside down,
You can hump with a whale but there's a chance you might drown,
You can try with a dragon but the risk is not small
Oh, the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The quills on his back are so awfully thick
They’ll poke perforations all over your prick.
There’s nowhere to aim when he’s curled in a ball
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
You can root with a wombat right here in Australia
But don’t be alarmed by our odd mammalia
You didn’t think our beasts would be friendly didya?
You’ve never know pain till you’ve shagged an echidna.
There are hundreds of more verses, but these seemed like a good selection.