Don't have the words....
I am bothered tonight by what Glynnis is doing. This is not the Glynnis that I have known and loved for 2 years. I understand in a way what she is doing, but I also believe that she isn't doing it for the right reasons. She deserves more than what she is doing with herself. I realize that for 2 years she has suppressed her sexual feelings for women to be with me, but sleeping with random women is not the way to catch I, but that is my opinion. I am both shocked and amazed. But I also know that it is no longer my place to ask questions and I respect her decisions and will be her for her to turn to and be her best friend if she will let me.
I miss her so much and all I want to do is be with her. I can't even begin to imagine what my life is going to be without her in it. Where do I begin to figure out what I am going to do now that I am not spending my life with Glynnis? I keep taking it one day at a time but every minute that I am not with her seems like decades. We are separating the things and talking about it and it kills me inside. And the part that kills me the most is how she looks at old pictures of me when I was still identifying as female and we started to date. It feels like for 2 years she has hung on to a person that no longer lives. I am at last myself and it is a big kick in the stomach to see how much she misses "Casey" the lesbian. I wish I could give her that person but I just can't.