Letter to the owner, Personal Threads Boutique

[etesla]

I wrote a letter to the owner of Personal Threads that I'll be mailing off Monday, and I felt it should be shared. It explains why I won't be shopping there any longer. I'm not organizing a boycott, and I'm not trying to influence anyone on the topic; like I say in the letter, I simply feel like everyone deserves to have information to make

Comments

Part two

[etesla]

You can be plus-size, not curvy, and not fat: an easy way is to be rather tall, reasonably large-framed, and muscular. (When I'm really thin, I still wear plus sizes due to height and frame.)

You can be plus-size and curvy, but not fat: just add breasts, a butt, and/or hips to that equation without much obvious adipose tissue outside of those areas.

You can be plus-size and fat, but not curvy: happens more on the short end of the spectrum, and is the classic image of 'fat' - round and/or stocky.

You can be plus-size, curvy, and fat: the classic 3B girl - wears plus sizes, and has boobs, a butt, AND a belly. I fall pretty squarely into this or the first category (plus-size/curvy but not fat) depending on what I'm wearing - my fat is more or less obvious depending on my clothing, posture, confidence level, and so on.

You can be curvy but not fat or plus-size; you can be fat but not curvy or plus-size (often reads as 'flabby'); and if you're really short, I'm betting you can be what people would read as fat and curvy without quite reaching the plus sizes. (Not sure, though. I'm tall.)

I am comfortable being plus-size (I am regardless of whether I'm skinny or fat, in the "healthy" BMI range, "overweight" range, or "obese" range - so plus-size I am).

I am comfortable being curvy. I actually really like being curvy. I have a butt, and I love it. Ditto breasts.

I am comfortable being fat-as-in-appearance. I have seen myself skinnier than I am now and fatter than I am now, and I don't really give two figs which I am. I'm enjoy my body at most sizes. (There is a limit to this - at a certain weight point I reliably get some inconvenient health issues like chronic acid reflux; I am comfortable being fat so long as I am healthy. So long as my doctor says I'm healthy - as in, my weight does not appear to be causing health problems - I am fine with whatever weight I am.)

In any case, the point is that I heartily want for all women - regardless of their size, curviness, and skinny-or-fatness - to be accepted as they are, without judgements as to their worth as human beings, without value judgements as to their worth as customers, and without blanket aesthetic judgements (i.e., all fat women are ugly - or some such nonsense). By blanket, I mean I don't care if someone says any of the following:

1. I find that fat woman unattractive.
2. I find fat women unattractive.
3. That woman is unattractive.
4. Curves don't appeal to me.

All of these are single statements, either in that they apply only as the opinion of a single person (I think, I find, to me), or applied only to a single object (that fat woman, that woman). I don't object to the word "fat" being used as a descriptive adjective, as in, "Hey, check out the drawing that fat blonde is working on." I believe that, like skinny, tall, short, lanky, muscular, bearded, bald, redhead, swarthy, black, or snub-nosed, fat can be used neutrally (without value judgement) to differentiate or find a subject in a crowd.

What I do object to is blanket statements:

1. Fat women are ugly.
2. Plus-sizes are just for lazy women who don't exercise.
3. Curvy women are gross.

Things like that imply that fat, size, and curves have an objective value (positive or negative) that the listener should take at face value.

I hate questions and statements that imply an objective value:

"Do these jeans make me look fat?" (Answer: Yes. So what if they do, though? They're sexy.)
"Oh, you're not that fat." (Answer: So what if I was? I am still gorgeous.)

Anyway. I went on longer than necessary. Hope that answers your question.