Voices 2

[eternuscreek]

VOICES 2

Closing my eyes makes it worse.
A buzz in my brian.
A nasal whine that seems to vibrate
a thread in my head.
My teeth itch with every sentence
and I bite my tongue.
The salt and metal tang of blood
enables me to stop from screaming.
I'm going to hurt her one of these days.
A mantra develops trying to override.
"Shut up, Shut up, Shut up,"
Around and around and it almost blocks it out.
Nomally I wouldn't be so sensitive.
But that voice is just a lie.
Fake.
I have heard the real strains of pain and worry.
This high pitched syrupy tone
is as fragile as spun sugar.
A facade barely holding together.
I've heared the real, the raw
and it's good and pure and beautiful.
But broken.
Not who she wants to be.
So I listen to the inflections.
Try to read the real in the florid.
And find emptiness.
Pain pricks my eyes
and my stomach drops
as "happy" tales of her day
flow.
I want to tell her that it's okay.
to drop it.
It doesn't matter how you appear.
But it does.
In order to get attention
she talks.
and I.
Stop listening.