(no subject)
Ah what a weekend. Once again i got nothing done but i learned quite a bit. See how stubborn some people can be, others who are apparently adults yet act like 7 year olds who haven't got what they wanted. Others still who fell they should ridicule others just because they're different or get more attention. It's annoying to have to deal with any of it. On top of that it's stupid when you try and defend the person while others just follow along.
It's also a pain in the ass when you try and help people but they refuse to even listen to what you have to say, automatically putting it down as something that's against them. God only knows why that's the first thing to pop into their heads. Is it pride that stops them? Having to give up a piece of it because you needed to lean on someone else's shoulder to continue on? I've already lost a brother that way. His image and friends were more important to him than anything else in life, who needs school when you can get high as a kite and do nothing? But when people try to help you, they suddenly become the enemy. It's just bullshit they speak.
It's hard to keep to you're views and morals when you see others around you, being ass holes, speaking their mind without thinking, not caring about being rude and yet they get what they want. Why is that? It seems like if you don't care for someone else's feeling you can get what u want. I see fools treat their girlfriends like shit, hitting on others while they're taken, acting like little kids or teen boys hooting and hollering. But things stay the same. They get the girls. Ah, maybe I'm just walking on a road that leads to a dead end. Playing the role of the nice guy doesn't seem to lead to anywhere nowadays. The ranting of a bitter old lone wolf, as my brother would put it anyway's.
It looks like nowadays the only thing that continually brings me happiness is martial arts. The only thing i still strive on to improve non-stop. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve.
But i never really though why. Why do i need to get better? I still don't think i even know when i do think about it. Is it so i'm not weak, something that will bring me confidence and allow me to have faith in the view that if ever faced with danger, whether it be because of man, elements or any other thing capable of harming me, that i might just be able to improve my odds of surviving? Is it so one day i can protect those around me? So that 1 day i wont be able to look upon myself in shame, fist clenched tight, questioning in anger why i wasn't able to do something in a particular situation that i could have had more control over? I might just be refusing to be one of those normal people who just stand by and let things unfold with no control. Maybe i just want people to pay attention to me. Look at me! I can play with a sword, i can jump high, i can do pretty little kicks and flips! I'm not a nobody! I'm somebody! I can make people say "Wow, that's pretty cool!" and through that i'm not just some unnoticeable dork floating through life unseen by anybody .I could be aiming to achieve something greater, maybe leave my mark somehow, someday. So that someday i might be remembered by someone for doing something other than living a plain life. I don't think i'll ever have a definite answer, maybe it's 1 of these, maybe all or maybe none. All that i do know is that i must refine myself and I must improve.
Ah, but nobody's perfect. We can all try though.....but it's too bad a fair majority of today's society refuse to.
It's also a pain in the ass when you try and help people but they refuse to even listen to what you have to say, automatically putting it down as something that's against them. God only knows why that's the first thing to pop into their heads. Is it pride that stops them? Having to give up a piece of it because you needed to lean on someone else's shoulder to continue on? I've already lost a brother that way. His image and friends were more important to him than anything else in life, who needs school when you can get high as a kite and do nothing? But when people try to help you, they suddenly become the enemy. It's just bullshit they speak.
It's hard to keep to you're views and morals when you see others around you, being ass holes, speaking their mind without thinking, not caring about being rude and yet they get what they want. Why is that? It seems like if you don't care for someone else's feeling you can get what u want. I see fools treat their girlfriends like shit, hitting on others while they're taken, acting like little kids or teen boys hooting and hollering. But things stay the same. They get the girls. Ah, maybe I'm just walking on a road that leads to a dead end. Playing the role of the nice guy doesn't seem to lead to anywhere nowadays. The ranting of a bitter old lone wolf, as my brother would put it anyway's.
It looks like nowadays the only thing that continually brings me happiness is martial arts. The only thing i still strive on to improve non-stop. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve. I must improve.
But i never really though why. Why do i need to get better? I still don't think i even know when i do think about it. Is it so i'm not weak, something that will bring me confidence and allow me to have faith in the view that if ever faced with danger, whether it be because of man, elements or any other thing capable of harming me, that i might just be able to improve my odds of surviving? Is it so one day i can protect those around me? So that 1 day i wont be able to look upon myself in shame, fist clenched tight, questioning in anger why i wasn't able to do something in a particular situation that i could have had more control over? I might just be refusing to be one of those normal people who just stand by and let things unfold with no control. Maybe i just want people to pay attention to me. Look at me! I can play with a sword, i can jump high, i can do pretty little kicks and flips! I'm not a nobody! I'm somebody! I can make people say "Wow, that's pretty cool!" and through that i'm not just some unnoticeable dork floating through life unseen by anybody .I could be aiming to achieve something greater, maybe leave my mark somehow, someday. So that someday i might be remembered by someone for doing something other than living a plain life. I don't think i'll ever have a definite answer, maybe it's 1 of these, maybe all or maybe none. All that i do know is that i must refine myself and I must improve.
Ah, but nobody's perfect. We can all try though.....but it's too bad a fair majority of today's society refuse to.