(no subject)
Sometimes I wonder if theres just something about me that eventually makes people decide to abandon me. I mean..I try to be as nice as I possibly can and in some cases really I can be entirely too nice, but its how I am and thats not something I suppose that I can ever change really. Thats not saying that I don't have a nasty temper, cause lets face it my natural hair color does make me a bit of a redhead. But it seems like every time I make a friend I can only keep them for so long before they either take advantage of me or just completely abandon me like I was yesterdays chow mein. Am I really that bad of a person that no one likes me for very long?
I know I can be overly emotional sometimes..but sheesh I'm a girl we have all kinds of weird hormonal urges. But it always seems to be the ones I'm closest to that hurt me the most. I try to be understanding..I mean with R he's been avoiding me for most of the year..especially since christmas. But I don't know what I've done or why. Sure, I miss rp'ing..but I miss my best friend/little brother more. His girlfriend has told me many times that its just the weather, or his back giving him problems, but I don't know anymore..he doesn't even answer when I call him and it hurts. I feel like crying sometimes when I think about it cause he was supposed to be the little brother that didn't abandon me like my blood related little brother did.
Don't even know why I'm posting this..I guess I just needed to write it down somewhere..though it feels like my other friends don't really not me sometimes either. I mean..I've been unhappy a lot lately but its never commented on or seems to be noticed. I just smile and pretend that nothing is wrong.
Sigh..I'm going to bury myself on game..maybe some mindless killing will make me feel better..but probably not..
I know I can be overly emotional sometimes..but sheesh I'm a girl we have all kinds of weird hormonal urges. But it always seems to be the ones I'm closest to that hurt me the most. I try to be understanding..I mean with R he's been avoiding me for most of the year..especially since christmas. But I don't know what I've done or why. Sure, I miss rp'ing..but I miss my best friend/little brother more. His girlfriend has told me many times that its just the weather, or his back giving him problems, but I don't know anymore..he doesn't even answer when I call him and it hurts. I feel like crying sometimes when I think about it cause he was supposed to be the little brother that didn't abandon me like my blood related little brother did.
Don't even know why I'm posting this..I guess I just needed to write it down somewhere..though it feels like my other friends don't really not me sometimes either. I mean..I've been unhappy a lot lately but its never commented on or seems to be noticed. I just smile and pretend that nothing is wrong.
Sigh..I'm going to bury myself on game..maybe some mindless killing will make me feel better..but probably not..