Mourning

Nov 04, 2010 17:02

Title: Mourning
Author: not_from_stars
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/Characters: Stephen Hart, Nick Cutter
Rating/Category: PG/Gen
Summary: Somehow, it seemed fitting. In life she had been such a bright light and now as they said their final goodbyes, it was gray and wet all around them.
Words: 1,021
Notes: I don't even know. I was feeling depressed and upset about things and the next thing I knew, this was written. Obviously it's AU and it probably falls between epsiodes in S2 or S3 since in my world, Stephen and Nick are alive and well.



It was raining on the day that they buried her.

Somehow, it seemed fitting. In life she had been such a bright light and now as they said their final goodbyes, it was gray and wet all around them.

The priest finished his reading and closed his book. The gathered crowd gave their final condolences to the team standing so close and began to dissipate. Her mother hugged him tightly before she started walking away from the gravesite with her husband.

Before long, there were only the five of them standing in the rain and looking down at the box. It didn't matter how many flowers decorated the coffin. He couldn't stop thinking of it as the box that was ending all of his plans and hopes as it was lowered into the dark hole.

It was James Lester who finally broke the silence. "This suit isn't water proof and there's work to be done. I somehow doubt that Abby would want us just standing here and staring at the ground as we invited pneumonia."

He didn't respond and never even looked up as he heard the others start to walk away. He couldn't just leave. She'd be alone out here and that didn't seem right. It wasn't right that she was going to be left all alone when she shouldn't be the one in the box in the first place.

"Stephen, we should go. You're going to make yourself ill if you stand out here much longer."

It didn't surprise him that Cutter was the one who had stayed. Even after everything that had happened over the last few years, Cutter hadn't turned his back on him.

"It should have been me," he finally said, and was surprised at how raspy his voice sounded. "I should be the one in the ground, not her. Abby shouldn't be gone." He shook his head. "What went wrong, Cutter?"

"We were all too wrapped up in things to know she had been stung by one of the scorpions," Cutter said quietly. "Hell, I didn't realize she had gone back through the anomaly there until Connor and Jenny told me she was missing. By the time we knew what had happened, it was closed and we were being told by the doctors that she had collapsed while they were working on you."

"How did she know what to do?"

"Connor said that she must have realized what needed to be done to create an anti-venom from all of her years of work with snakes. She went back to collect venom from the snakes so that the doctors could use it to help you. We didn't know until she collapsed at the hospital that she had been hurt on that trip. By then..."

By the time they had realized what was wrong with her, it had been too late. She had hung on just long enough to know that Stephen was going to recover from his snake bite before she let go. The doctors had done their best to revive her, but nothing had worked.

"Why?" He wasn't sure if he was asking Cutter a question or if it was just one more from the group of words that filled his brain and had to be let out.

"She loved you," Cutter said plainly. "I think you were probably the only one around the team that didn't know it. Connor said she fancied you since the very first time she met you. Working around you all of this time just made her feelings deeper."

"She must have been so scared," Stephen whispered. "She died alone, Cutter, and that wasn't right."

"She died with you nearby," Cutter felt the need to point out. "She died by your bedside after the doctors said you were coming out of the coma."

"How could she do that? How could she hold on so tightly when she must have known what was happening to her? She had to have known she was dying even while she was telling the doctors what to do. Why didn't she tell them she was poisoned?"

Cutter let out a sigh. "She knew that even if she did, there wasn't a way to go back and get venom for her. Since it was a different creature that bit her and that anomaly had closed..." He swallowed. "It was Abby, Stephen. She knew that if she told us what had happened that we would be trying to find a way to get back to that place to help her and there was no way back by then. According to Jenny, she barely made it back through before the anomaly closed."

"So she went on a damn suicide mission for someone who didn't deserve it."

"As far as she was concerned, you were worth it," Cutter said quietly.

"She was wrong. If only one of us could live, it should have been her. She had so much more to offer the world and our work than I did."

"Connor may try to shoot you if he hears you say that."

"And why is that?"

"Because in his mind you would be attacking Abby's common sense and maligning her memory."

He had thought that all of his tears had been used up, but to his surprise he could feel them starting again. His shoulders hunched slightly as he sobbed, not caring that it was Cutter that witnessed his grief as he went to his knees. It shouldn't have surprised him that Cutter knelt beside him in the mud and hugged him tightly as he cried about Abby all over again. After all, Cutter had been his best friend for so many years.

"It should have been me," he managed to get out between the sounds he was making through the pain in his chest. "It should have been me that died, not Abby. How could she do that? How could she leave me like that?"

For once, Nick Cutter didn't have all of the answers. All he could do was lean his head against Stephen's as his best friend mourned for the girl he hadn't realized he loved.

character : nick cutter, fandom : primeval, character : stephen hart

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