You And Me Against The World
Title: You And Me Against The World
Author: random_chick and sehkmetenkare
Fandom: X-Men
Characters: Kitty Pryde/Tamsin Doniger
Prompt: #001 - Beginnings
Word Count: 2,379
Rating: PG, Maybe PG-13
Challenge: Written for coclaim100's prompt of 001 : Beginnings
Summary: Kitty and Tamsin watch the snow and talk about old loves and new
Author's Notes: I do not own Kitty Pryde or the X-Men. Though, if we did? I'm sure that some things in comic canon never would have happened.
It was interesting, Kitty thought as she lay her head back against Tamsin's shoulder, that the two of them had taken so long to get together. Logan had certainly sensed the attraction between them and the affection that they had for each other. Others had alluded to what they had thought was between the two young women. However, after everything that had hapened (with Piotr and Kitty... and with Tamsin and John) both girls had been skittish about the deeper feelings between them.
However, now, curled up with her under the blanket on the window seat, watching the snow fall past the window, there was nowhere else that Kitty would rather be than right here.
Tamsin's arms were wrapped loosely around her girlfriend's waist as they sat on the window seat. It was a quiet time, a comfortable one. They rarely had any truly peaceful moments, so they both felt they had to savor whatever they could get. "It's pretty out, isn't it?" she asked, pressing a kiss to Kitty's temple.
Kitty nodded, comfortable and happy being held by her girlfriend. "It is... and it's peaceful, too. That's definitely a nice change." She smiled, making sure she had an arm around Tamsin. "I think this is the first time that I really haven't minded the snow coming down." She tilted her head back so she could look into her eyes. "It's nice being able to do this."
"It is," Tamsin agreed. "It's nice having someone to cuddle with. John... well, he was never really very big on cuddling."
The mention of John made her sober a moment. She loved Kitty, loved the other girl with everything she had in her, but that didn't change the hurt she felt every time she thought about John. He'd been the first person in her life that she'd truly loved. Oh, she'd dated before him, but she hadn't loved them.
She shook her head and forced her attention back to Kitty. "I love you," she whispered, nuzzling Kitty's hair. "I love you so very much."
Kitty had a good idea what Tam had been thinking about. "I love you, too, Tamsin... always." She leaned into the other girl. "We're together and heaven help anyone who tries to cause hurt because of it."
"Damn right," Tamsin agreed with a nod. "It's you and me, babe. You and me against the world."
Kitty smiled and reached up to caress Tamsin's face. "I am so glad we finally followed our instincts, you know that?"
"Yeah." Tamsin laughed softly as she turned her face towards Kitty's touch. "I just can't believe how long it took for us to do it. I mean, we've only been friends for what... almost ten years?"
Kitty looked into her eyes. "We are two of the most stubborn people here, you know. Besides, if we hadn't both gone through what we have gone through... we never would have known how much we appreciate what we have with each other." She sighed. "Piotr..." She swallowed. "There was a lot Piotr didn't understand."
"I know, Kitten," Tamsin said softly. "I was there after you two had your arguments. It killed me to see you upset."
"I just wasn't the girl he thought I was. He was a great guy but I was just not what he needed. Then when he died..." Kitty sighed softly. "I can relate, Tam," she said with a nod. "I hated seeing what was happening with John because I knew how much you loved him. Every time you hurt I had to go hit something."
"Seeing John leave me... it's something I'm never going to forget." Tamsin sighed. "Sometimes I still dream about him. About the good times we had. And we did have some good times. Rather a lot of them, actually."
"I know you did, I saw them. That doesn't mean I can forgive him for the pain he caused you." She spread her fingers along Tamsin's cheek. "The idea of you in pain has never set well with me, and even less so now."
"I can't forgive him, either. But there are times... there are times that I think maybe I'll be able to some day." She closed her eyes at the feel of Kitty's fingers on her skin. "I can't hold onto the anger and the hurt forever. It keeps me from being in this relationship as much as I'm able, and I want to be committed to you 100 percent."
Kitty smiled at her. "And I'll be here, you know that. I love you and I know you love me. The rest, we'll be able to make it through together. Look at everything else we've already managed to accomplish, just by coming to each other and being here."
"With you, I can make it through anything." Tamsin smiled, tipping Kitty's head up and kissing her gently. "Mama was right when she told me I had to take the risk, even if I was scared."
Kitty moved her arms so she could wrap them lightly around Tamsin's neck. "Dani can be quite wise when she decides that something needs to happen. I'm glad she encouraged you like Logan did me."
"We needed the encouragement. And we needed their particular brand of encouragement." Tamsin smiled against her girlfriend's lips. "Regular encouragement wouldn't have worked with us. We're too stubborn."
"Oh no. We could have resisted regular encouragement," Kitty agreed, letting the tip of her tongue flick along Tamsin's upper lip. "Their ways were probably the only thing that could have worked on us."
Tamsin whimpered softly. "We're made of special stuff, after all. We're not just any two girls."
"Oh no, not at all. We're two girls who are very passionate about what we want, but are sometimes too stubborn to take that step to grab ahold of it." Kitty repeated her movements with her tongue against Tamsin's lower lip. "I do think if we hadn't listened they were going to lock us in a closet together." She stopped and looked up into Tamsin's eyes in all seriousness. "I love you, Tamsin, and anything that we need to deal with and let go in order to be complete with each other, I'm ready to do. I don't want anyone trying to hold anything from our past relatonships against us in the future. I don't want you to be hurt..."
"Getting locked in a closet with you could be kinda fun, actually," Tamsin joked, sobering at Kitty's next words. "I'm ready, too. As much as it hurts to think about some of this stuff... I'm ready." She'd do anything to make sure she could be with Kitty, even if it meant facing demons she'd rather not face.
Kitty understood what Tamsin meant as she had her share of demons she's have to face and her share of secrets she'd need to reveal. But as long as she could be with Tam, she was willing to do just about anything.
"I love you," she said softly. "Don't ever forget that."
"I won't," Tamsin promised. "I love you, too. Always will, Kitten."
Kitty smiled slightly and relaxed in Tamsin's arms again, laying her head back against her as she had been before. "There's no place I would rather be right now."
"Me, either." Tamsin took a deep breath. "So... who talks first?" Better to get it out of the way. This was going to be difficult enough without awkwardness over who started first.
Kitty kept an arm around Tamsin. "How about if you say something... and then I do, and we go like that, one demon at a time? That way, there is no tension about trying to get everything out all in one comment or phrase. Takes some of the stress about talking off of ourselves." The idea that she and Tamsin could be nervous or scared about talking to each other about certain things was a new experience for her.
"Okay." Tamsin sighed heavily. "When I was with John, I... I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I honestly saw myself settling down with him. Well, as much as he'd ever be capable of settling."
"Piotr and I talked about having children," she said quietly. "He wanted to start a family..."
"What about you?" Tamsin asked. "Did you want kids?" She couldn't imagine Kitty not wanting them. She was always so good with the younger students.
Kitty shrugged. "I did, yes, but I wasn't ready to have them as soon as he was talking about. Look at we deal with every day. I told him it wasn't fair to plan on children so soon when we could make them into orphans right now."
"I want children now, but at the same time, like you said... I'm not ready to actually have them." Tamsin sighed. "I'm not capable of protecting them from every little thing that they could come into contact with that might hurt them, so... No kids."
Kitty nodded. "I agree with you. Someday we can have kids, but for now, we can practice with the younger students and keeping them safe." She was quiet. "Where were you and John going to settle if you had?"
"We hadn't really talked about it," Tamsin said. "But he talked a couple times about returning to Australia. Not the part he was from, though. Just the country in general. I always got the feeling he missed it. Never knew for sure, because he wasn't really all that big on expressing his feelings, but... I could tell."
"Like Piotr was about Russia."
"We would've never seen each other again, for all intents and purposes."
"I don't think I could have handled that..." Kitty looked down. "Don't get me wrong, if you were happy, then I would have been glad. But the idea that I would never have seen you again..."
"You're my best friend, Kitty. And you always would have been. But it wouldn't have been the same. I would have felt like a part of me was missing."
She nodded. "It wouldn't have felt right. We've been inseperable for so many years and living at opposite sides of the universe would have been hard." She smiled faintly. "Of course, settling down with Piotr wouldn't have happened for awhile, anyway. I didn't want to leave the X-Men."
"And I wouldn't have wanted to leave the team, either." And they wouldn't have let her leave easily. Tamsin was an incredibly powerful empath. They needed someone like her.
"Piotr said that one day I would have to choose," she said quietly. "That I would have to choose between my heart and the duty I felt."
"Then he didn't know you very well, did he?" Tamsin asked, suppressing her sudden anger that Piotr had said something like that. She'd feel it later, feel embarrassment over the sentiment later. "You would never have made that choice. And you would've ended up hating anybody who tried to make you choose."
"He was split in two about it, so I think he hoped I was, too. I also think he was a little jealous."
"What exactly was he jealous about? I mean, he couldn't have been jealous of how much you loved and were devoted to your work... Could he?"
"I think it was people he was jealous of."
"He didn't need to be jealous of people. But that... I suppose that's how he was." She hadn't known Piotr very well, not nearly as well as she would've liked.
"There were times I spent more time with Logan or with you than I did with Piotr. I think he was hurt by it."
"I was always with you or John. Or Mama." Tamsin smiled faintly. "I spend my time with remarkably few people, now that I think about it."
Kitty leaned into her girlfriend and was silent for awhile as they just held each other. Finally she said, "You choose to spend time with the people that you think or feel are worthy of your attention. There is definitely nothing wrong with that. " She shrugged lightly. "We cannot be all things to all people."
"But sometimes we want to be." Tamsin smiled ruefully. "Sometimes I just want to make everybody happy. I know it's impossible, but sometimes I just can't help it. It's who I am, I guess."
"You and me both," Kitty said quietly. "We want to please everybody and make everyone just as happy as we want to be."
"And sometimes it ends up backfiring on us and we make absolutely nobody happy."
"And we become completely miserable because of it."
"Which leads to that ever-popular spiral of depression." They'd both gone on that one more than once -- and had been responsible for pulling each other out of it.
Kitty leaned back against her. "We should work harder on that, you know," she whispered.
"Yeah," Tamsin agreed, her voice gone husky. "We should. Especially me. Because there's nothing worse than a depressed empath."
"I love you even when you're a depressed empath," Kitty said in a small voice.
"And I love you for loving me even when I'm a depressed empath." She took Kitty's hands in hers and squeezed them gently. "But I don't want to be a depressed empath any more than I have to be."
"We just have to make sure we keep finding things to make you a happy empath."
"And if anyone can do that, it's you." Tamsin smiled fondly.
Kitty turned towards her, smiling softly. "I'll always do my best, Tam."
"I know you will, dearest." Tamsin kissed her, just a light brush of her lips against Kitty's. "I know you will."
Author: random_chick and sehkmetenkare
Fandom: X-Men
Characters: Kitty Pryde/Tamsin Doniger
Prompt: #001 - Beginnings
Word Count: 2,379
Rating: PG, Maybe PG-13
Challenge: Written for coclaim100's prompt of 001 : Beginnings
Summary: Kitty and Tamsin watch the snow and talk about old loves and new
Author's Notes: I do not own Kitty Pryde or the X-Men. Though, if we did? I'm sure that some things in comic canon never would have happened.
It was interesting, Kitty thought as she lay her head back against Tamsin's shoulder, that the two of them had taken so long to get together. Logan had certainly sensed the attraction between them and the affection that they had for each other. Others had alluded to what they had thought was between the two young women. However, after everything that had hapened (with Piotr and Kitty... and with Tamsin and John) both girls had been skittish about the deeper feelings between them.
However, now, curled up with her under the blanket on the window seat, watching the snow fall past the window, there was nowhere else that Kitty would rather be than right here.
Tamsin's arms were wrapped loosely around her girlfriend's waist as they sat on the window seat. It was a quiet time, a comfortable one. They rarely had any truly peaceful moments, so they both felt they had to savor whatever they could get. "It's pretty out, isn't it?" she asked, pressing a kiss to Kitty's temple.
Kitty nodded, comfortable and happy being held by her girlfriend. "It is... and it's peaceful, too. That's definitely a nice change." She smiled, making sure she had an arm around Tamsin. "I think this is the first time that I really haven't minded the snow coming down." She tilted her head back so she could look into her eyes. "It's nice being able to do this."
"It is," Tamsin agreed. "It's nice having someone to cuddle with. John... well, he was never really very big on cuddling."
The mention of John made her sober a moment. She loved Kitty, loved the other girl with everything she had in her, but that didn't change the hurt she felt every time she thought about John. He'd been the first person in her life that she'd truly loved. Oh, she'd dated before him, but she hadn't loved them.
She shook her head and forced her attention back to Kitty. "I love you," she whispered, nuzzling Kitty's hair. "I love you so very much."
Kitty had a good idea what Tam had been thinking about. "I love you, too, Tamsin... always." She leaned into the other girl. "We're together and heaven help anyone who tries to cause hurt because of it."
"Damn right," Tamsin agreed with a nod. "It's you and me, babe. You and me against the world."
Kitty smiled and reached up to caress Tamsin's face. "I am so glad we finally followed our instincts, you know that?"
"Yeah." Tamsin laughed softly as she turned her face towards Kitty's touch. "I just can't believe how long it took for us to do it. I mean, we've only been friends for what... almost ten years?"
Kitty looked into her eyes. "We are two of the most stubborn people here, you know. Besides, if we hadn't both gone through what we have gone through... we never would have known how much we appreciate what we have with each other." She sighed. "Piotr..." She swallowed. "There was a lot Piotr didn't understand."
"I know, Kitten," Tamsin said softly. "I was there after you two had your arguments. It killed me to see you upset."
"I just wasn't the girl he thought I was. He was a great guy but I was just not what he needed. Then when he died..." Kitty sighed softly. "I can relate, Tam," she said with a nod. "I hated seeing what was happening with John because I knew how much you loved him. Every time you hurt I had to go hit something."
"Seeing John leave me... it's something I'm never going to forget." Tamsin sighed. "Sometimes I still dream about him. About the good times we had. And we did have some good times. Rather a lot of them, actually."
"I know you did, I saw them. That doesn't mean I can forgive him for the pain he caused you." She spread her fingers along Tamsin's cheek. "The idea of you in pain has never set well with me, and even less so now."
"I can't forgive him, either. But there are times... there are times that I think maybe I'll be able to some day." She closed her eyes at the feel of Kitty's fingers on her skin. "I can't hold onto the anger and the hurt forever. It keeps me from being in this relationship as much as I'm able, and I want to be committed to you 100 percent."
Kitty smiled at her. "And I'll be here, you know that. I love you and I know you love me. The rest, we'll be able to make it through together. Look at everything else we've already managed to accomplish, just by coming to each other and being here."
"With you, I can make it through anything." Tamsin smiled, tipping Kitty's head up and kissing her gently. "Mama was right when she told me I had to take the risk, even if I was scared."
Kitty moved her arms so she could wrap them lightly around Tamsin's neck. "Dani can be quite wise when she decides that something needs to happen. I'm glad she encouraged you like Logan did me."
"We needed the encouragement. And we needed their particular brand of encouragement." Tamsin smiled against her girlfriend's lips. "Regular encouragement wouldn't have worked with us. We're too stubborn."
"Oh no. We could have resisted regular encouragement," Kitty agreed, letting the tip of her tongue flick along Tamsin's upper lip. "Their ways were probably the only thing that could have worked on us."
Tamsin whimpered softly. "We're made of special stuff, after all. We're not just any two girls."
"Oh no, not at all. We're two girls who are very passionate about what we want, but are sometimes too stubborn to take that step to grab ahold of it." Kitty repeated her movements with her tongue against Tamsin's lower lip. "I do think if we hadn't listened they were going to lock us in a closet together." She stopped and looked up into Tamsin's eyes in all seriousness. "I love you, Tamsin, and anything that we need to deal with and let go in order to be complete with each other, I'm ready to do. I don't want anyone trying to hold anything from our past relatonships against us in the future. I don't want you to be hurt..."
"Getting locked in a closet with you could be kinda fun, actually," Tamsin joked, sobering at Kitty's next words. "I'm ready, too. As much as it hurts to think about some of this stuff... I'm ready." She'd do anything to make sure she could be with Kitty, even if it meant facing demons she'd rather not face.
Kitty understood what Tamsin meant as she had her share of demons she's have to face and her share of secrets she'd need to reveal. But as long as she could be with Tam, she was willing to do just about anything.
"I love you," she said softly. "Don't ever forget that."
"I won't," Tamsin promised. "I love you, too. Always will, Kitten."
Kitty smiled slightly and relaxed in Tamsin's arms again, laying her head back against her as she had been before. "There's no place I would rather be right now."
"Me, either." Tamsin took a deep breath. "So... who talks first?" Better to get it out of the way. This was going to be difficult enough without awkwardness over who started first.
Kitty kept an arm around Tamsin. "How about if you say something... and then I do, and we go like that, one demon at a time? That way, there is no tension about trying to get everything out all in one comment or phrase. Takes some of the stress about talking off of ourselves." The idea that she and Tamsin could be nervous or scared about talking to each other about certain things was a new experience for her.
"Okay." Tamsin sighed heavily. "When I was with John, I... I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I honestly saw myself settling down with him. Well, as much as he'd ever be capable of settling."
"Piotr and I talked about having children," she said quietly. "He wanted to start a family..."
"What about you?" Tamsin asked. "Did you want kids?" She couldn't imagine Kitty not wanting them. She was always so good with the younger students.
Kitty shrugged. "I did, yes, but I wasn't ready to have them as soon as he was talking about. Look at we deal with every day. I told him it wasn't fair to plan on children so soon when we could make them into orphans right now."
"I want children now, but at the same time, like you said... I'm not ready to actually have them." Tamsin sighed. "I'm not capable of protecting them from every little thing that they could come into contact with that might hurt them, so... No kids."
Kitty nodded. "I agree with you. Someday we can have kids, but for now, we can practice with the younger students and keeping them safe." She was quiet. "Where were you and John going to settle if you had?"
"We hadn't really talked about it," Tamsin said. "But he talked a couple times about returning to Australia. Not the part he was from, though. Just the country in general. I always got the feeling he missed it. Never knew for sure, because he wasn't really all that big on expressing his feelings, but... I could tell."
"Like Piotr was about Russia."
"We would've never seen each other again, for all intents and purposes."
"I don't think I could have handled that..." Kitty looked down. "Don't get me wrong, if you were happy, then I would have been glad. But the idea that I would never have seen you again..."
"You're my best friend, Kitty. And you always would have been. But it wouldn't have been the same. I would have felt like a part of me was missing."
She nodded. "It wouldn't have felt right. We've been inseperable for so many years and living at opposite sides of the universe would have been hard." She smiled faintly. "Of course, settling down with Piotr wouldn't have happened for awhile, anyway. I didn't want to leave the X-Men."
"And I wouldn't have wanted to leave the team, either." And they wouldn't have let her leave easily. Tamsin was an incredibly powerful empath. They needed someone like her.
"Piotr said that one day I would have to choose," she said quietly. "That I would have to choose between my heart and the duty I felt."
"Then he didn't know you very well, did he?" Tamsin asked, suppressing her sudden anger that Piotr had said something like that. She'd feel it later, feel embarrassment over the sentiment later. "You would never have made that choice. And you would've ended up hating anybody who tried to make you choose."
"He was split in two about it, so I think he hoped I was, too. I also think he was a little jealous."
"What exactly was he jealous about? I mean, he couldn't have been jealous of how much you loved and were devoted to your work... Could he?"
"I think it was people he was jealous of."
"He didn't need to be jealous of people. But that... I suppose that's how he was." She hadn't known Piotr very well, not nearly as well as she would've liked.
"There were times I spent more time with Logan or with you than I did with Piotr. I think he was hurt by it."
"I was always with you or John. Or Mama." Tamsin smiled faintly. "I spend my time with remarkably few people, now that I think about it."
Kitty leaned into her girlfriend and was silent for awhile as they just held each other. Finally she said, "You choose to spend time with the people that you think or feel are worthy of your attention. There is definitely nothing wrong with that. " She shrugged lightly. "We cannot be all things to all people."
"But sometimes we want to be." Tamsin smiled ruefully. "Sometimes I just want to make everybody happy. I know it's impossible, but sometimes I just can't help it. It's who I am, I guess."
"You and me both," Kitty said quietly. "We want to please everybody and make everyone just as happy as we want to be."
"And sometimes it ends up backfiring on us and we make absolutely nobody happy."
"And we become completely miserable because of it."
"Which leads to that ever-popular spiral of depression." They'd both gone on that one more than once -- and had been responsible for pulling each other out of it.
Kitty leaned back against her. "We should work harder on that, you know," she whispered.
"Yeah," Tamsin agreed, her voice gone husky. "We should. Especially me. Because there's nothing worse than a depressed empath."
"I love you even when you're a depressed empath," Kitty said in a small voice.
"And I love you for loving me even when I'm a depressed empath." She took Kitty's hands in hers and squeezed them gently. "But I don't want to be a depressed empath any more than I have to be."
"We just have to make sure we keep finding things to make you a happy empath."
"And if anyone can do that, it's you." Tamsin smiled fondly.
Kitty turned towards her, smiling softly. "I'll always do my best, Tam."
"I know you will, dearest." Tamsin kissed her, just a light brush of her lips against Kitty's. "I know you will."