Title: Across The Borders Of Time
Author:
not_from_starsArtist(s):
danceswithgary and
whuffleMedia Link:
DancesWithGary and Whuffle Word Count: 37,255
Fandom: Primeval
Genre: Angst; Het and Slash
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Abby Maitland/Hilary Becker, Danny Quinn/Connor Temple
Summary: Captain Becker was forced to watch as Abby, Danny and Connor went through an anomaly to prevent Helen Cutter from destroying mankind. After Connor is hurt, Danny sends Abby ahead of them to stop Helen no matter what she has to do. Unfortunately, after killing Helen, Abby returns to the site of the anomaly -- only to watch it close before she can go through it. This leaves Abby trapped in the Pleistocene with no way of getting back home, and with no way of letting the people who love her know that she's alive.
Warnings/Spoilers: This is an AU of the last episode of Series 3 and into Series 4.
Author’s Notes: This story has been a labor of love, emphasis on the labor part. I want to thank my beta and cheerleader,
enochiansigils, for holding my hand through this and not letting me give up.
danceswithgary made me an awesome wallpaper I use on my netbook and a matching icon and she was so infinitely patient with me as I struggled with this stork, I want to make sure she gets herthanks for that. I want to thank
whuffle for making me extra pretties to go with this and also want to thank
whuffle and
morrigans_eve for adding their encouragement to that of
enochiansigils so that I could stick to writing this.
“There was an accident shortly after we managed to chase Helen into the past,” Danny started quietly as he stared down at his hands.
After the quick reunion with Becker, and introduction to the other field leader Matt Anderson, he and Connor had been immediately taken back to the ARC. They needed to be checked out by a medic and they wanted to reunite with the rest of their friends. They also only wanted to have to tell their story only once for right now. After being tentatively cleared by a medic and after they had both refused rather vehemently to be taken to a hospital for treatment or observation, the two of them had finally been ushered into Lester’s office.
That, at least, hadn’t changed. Lester’s office was still the official place to give or receive news.
“What kind of accident?” Predictably, it was Lester who asked the question and Danny took a moment to wonder if he was going to have to do paperwork over their return and Abby’s continued absence.
“Raptor attack.” At everyone’s shocked and dismayed reactions, Connor shook his head quickly. “No, she didn’t get eaten!” He paused. “Well, we don’t think so, anyway.”
“Connor.” Danny groaned. “What he means to say is that Abby wasn’t the one who was hurt in the raptor attack. The last time I saw her, she was definitely very much alive.”
“When exactly was that?” Becker forced the words out between stiff lips.
“Two years ago when she continued to pursue Helen.”
There was silence for a long moment and then Matt - whom Danny hadn’t realized was in the room - looked at him evenly.
“Abby Maitland went after Helen Cutter on her own and you let her?”
“Matt.” There was a clear warning in Becker’s tone. He had noticed the change in Danny when he started telling his story and he wasn’t about to let someone who didn’t even know him to question him or attack him. It had broken something in Danny to make Abby go into dangerous territory alone.
“Connor was hurt and unconscious after the attack,” Danny bit out. “I was the only one of us that was strong enough to carry him somewhere to safety. If Abby hadn’t continued on Helen’s trail, we would have lost her and the only chance we had to stop her from what she planned on doing. I was stronger, but Abby was faster.” Guilt laced his words. “I gave Abby my spare gun and convinced her to go. After what we had found out, the three of us agreed that Helen Cutter needed to be stopped no matter the cost.” He let out a breath. “She chased after Helen and I got Connor up a tree and into safety before the raptors woke back up.”
“She knew the risks,” Connor said softly, his hand beneath the table squeezing Danny’s leg in an attempt to offer comfort. “Helen had to be stopped before she could kill all of us.” He looked at Matt. “And all of you, too.”
Matt gave Connor a considering look. “What do you mean?”
“Site 333,” Danny said, shaking his head. “The barmy bitch was heading to Site 333 to kill everyone.”
Sarah drew in her breath. It had been one thing to think about what Helen might be planning, but to actually hear her suspicions confirmed was all together a different matter.
“Abby stopped her.” Becker’s voice was carefully controlled as he looked at Danny and Connor. “Abby stopped her and saved the world.”
“Of course she did,” Danny agreed. “Abby wouldn’t have let it end any other way.”
“If she managed to stop Helen, then why didn’t she come back with the two of you?” Jenny was leaning against the wall, trying to take everything in. Like the others, she was overjoyed to have Danny and Connor back with them, but there was still the pang of loss over Abby being missing.
“We think that like us she got trapped,” Connor continued. “The first anomaly we went through led to the Cretaceous and it closed not too long after we arrived there.”
“When Abby didn’t return after a few hours, I made sure Connor was somewhere safe and I went to look for her.” Danny’s eyes met Becker’s. “I tracked her in the direction that she had gone and when her tracks ended I knew that I had found where the second anomaly had been. There was nothing there and we stayed near there and kept looking for signs that an anomaly had re-opened and she come back, but she never showed up.”
“We kept hoping she managed to find her way back here because the alternative was just not something we wanted to think about.” Connor looked around the room at everyone. “Because, she had to have won, right? You’re all still here and so are Danny and I. So she had to have beaten Helen and stopped her from killing anyone. Right?”
It has been so long since I’ve heard any voice but my own. I’ve almost stopped talking completely because hearing only my voice echoing back at me makes me think that I’m losing my mind. It’s easier now to be silent most of the time. I guess when you only have yourself to talk to you fall out of practice speaking. Each time I was alone in my life, I still had animals to speak to and I wasn’t as completely alone as I am now. It makes it easier to hunt and follow the animals when they change grazing patterns if you’re not used to talking or making sounds. I’m getting awfully damn good at being completely silent and it scares me a little. If I fall out of practice with talking, will I forget how to communicate with other people when I get back home? If I get back home? Is it possible to permanently lose your voice because you haven’t used it in months or years? I bet Sarah would know the answer to that question. She and Jenny are the smartest women I know and I bet it would be something Sarah would have an immediate answer for.
God, I miss them so much.
According to the notes in these journals I’ve been keeping, it’s been a little over two years since I killed Helen and since I left Danny and Connor. Are they all right? Did they find a way back home?
Did me killing Helen and getting trapped in this time and place do any good?
Has Becker moved on?
Has he let go of me and maybe thinks he’ll never see me again?
The idea of him falling in love with someone else kills me, but the idea of him being heartbroken and hurting for this long over my loss is even worse. I want him to be happy. I want him to be able to know he’s loved. As much as I wish I was with him and that we hadn't been separated like this, I would never wish him to be alone and sad. He deserves to be loved for the amazing man he is.
If I could send him any kind of a message from here it would be to tell him that I love him and that I want him to move on with his life and be happy. I will never stop loving him with all of my heart, but I don't want him holding out hope for me to come back home.
By now, I think we all know that it's not ever going to happen. But if I had it to do all over again, I would. The safety of Becker and my friends and those I loved was worth everything I lost. I wasn't in time to stop her from killing anyone here, but I hope that I stopped her in time to protect those that I left behind.
I hope that some day, Becker will understand why I had to make the sacrifice that I did. I hope that one day, he can be proud of me and what I've done...
Becker was sitting in a chair on his balcony holding onto a beer that he wasn't really drinking. Oh, ever so often he would remember that he was holding it and he would take a half-hearted swallow, but that didn't count as drinking. In the flat behind him, his two best mates were asleep in his spare bedroom. At least, he hoped they were asleep. The medic had only agreed to hold off on ordering them to the hospital if Becker promised that they would start eating properly and getting a lot of rest. They would have to go in to see the medics in a few days for all kinds of tests to diagnose their condition, but for now Becker had managed to gain them a few days to adjust to their surroundings and relax. He thought it only right that he brought them back to his place. The place that Abby and Connor had lived in had been packed up and the loft was rented as soon as Lester and the team managed to get their stuff out like the landlord wanted. As for Danny's place, well they had packed up all of his belongings, too. Only in his instance, the house ended up being sold by his ex wife when she found out that he was missing after doing undercover work. She sold the house, gave Lester half of the money and she hadn't been seen since.
So, after the first round of debriefing was completed, Becker had insisted that they stay with him. It wasn't like he didn't have the room. He had purchased a new flat the day before the three of them had gone through the anomaly. He had wanted it to be a surprise for Abby. Their own flat. A master bedroom, a good size guest room and another bedroom that was only slightly smaller. There was a room for all of her books and manuals and studies for her experiments and there was a place for the animals that she was always getting attached to.
He had been planning to show her the flat at the same time he asked her to marry him.
Only that bloody bitch Helen ruined everything by deciding to wipe out humanity because she didn't like the way evolution was going or what she had helped the future to do. So because she was barmy and wanted to destroy the world, the people he loved had been faced with no choice but to go after her. In the task of saving the world and all of the lives in it, they had lost Abby.
"It's not right and it's not fair, Abby," Becker murmured softly, not wanting the men sleeping in the other room to hear him. "You should be here with me, starting a new life together. You should be here, with them, so we can all take care of you and the haunted looks in their eyes wouldn't get worse every time they thought of you or tried to talk about you. Danny looks like a shadow of himself and he's eaten up with guilt that he gave you the order to go on after her alone. I don't blame him, you know. I don't blame you, either. With what she was planning to do, you guys had no choice. You weighed the happiness of a small group of people against the lives of several billion people." He took a deep breath and there were tears starting to slide down his cheeks as he looked down at the floor. "You made a hard decision, Abby my girl. I love you and I'm proud of you. But oh god, Abby. I miss you so fucking much." He swallowed, shaking his head. "It was supposed to be only a few hours. You weren't supposed to be gone for over two years. I need you, Abby my girl. I need you to come back. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep going here if you're gone."
"She's lost, not dead," Danny's hoarse voice preceded him out onto the balcony so that he could sit and watch everything around them and beneath them. "We're going to find her and bring her home where she belongs. I believe she is still alive wherever she ended up trapped and we'll locate her."
"How, Danny? How are we going to find her? It's been two years and we don't know how to get an anomaly open to the time she's trapped in."
"You found us, didn't you?"
"That was a lucky coincidence with the anomaly being the right one to bring you back here. It opened just as randomly as any others that we deal with here."
"If Connor can figure out how to fix the artifact Helen broke, he may be able to find the right coordinates to where Helen led her to and we'll go there."
"Sarah said that Helen shattered it and that Connor isn't sure if he can do enough to make it work like it did before."
"Connor can make it work, Becker. I know he can. He spent almost two years making different gadgets and doing experiments that helped make our lives a little better than hell." Danny's voice was full of confidence in his lover. "He'll fix it and we'll use it and everything will come back to being like it's supposed to be. She'll be home with us and all of us will be together where we belong."
"I just want her to come home, Danny," Becker whispered. "I feel like a part of me is dying without her. The longer she's gone the more it hurts to just get through the day. I get my hopes up only to feel them crash back down again every day we get disappointed and I come back home to be alone and feel another part of me breaking."
"You're not alone, Becker," Danny said gently. "You're never alone. You have friends in Sarah, Jenny and Lester. You have the concern and respect of your men. You have me and Connor. You're not alone. You just have to see past the broken and see if the shards you're holding onto are too sharp to help put you back together again. Because when Abby comes home, you'll need to be put together."
"What do you mean?"
"It's been two years," Danny pointed out, running a hand through his hair. "For two years, Connor and I lived in hell, but we had each other to rely on and get us through and keep us from losing our sanity. Abby has only had herself to rely on and when she comes back, I guarantee she's going to be damaged and you need to fix your own damages in order to help her put hers into order."
Becker sighed and remembered his beer again, taking a short drink. "Nothing has made a whole lot of sense in the time you've been gone, Danny. We really did try everything we could think of in order to find you. Six months of missions into the future before Sarah got the idea that you were all somewhere in the past." He shook his head. "We had been looking in the wrong direction all of the time and we had no idea that we were. The last thing we knew, she was in the future and that was where the three of you had gone."
"I am sorry about that, mate," Danny's voice was remorseful. "But once we realized what she was going to do, we didn't have any time to come back and tell you. Time was of the essence if our entire species wasn't suddenly going to die."
"I know that you guys didn't have time and in that position, I would have done the same thing."
"And if the damn anomalies hadn't closed we would have been back a long time ago -- with Abby."
Becker nodded, taking a deep breath. "Do you think she killed her?"
"Who, Abby?" And the slight nod of Becker's head, Danny nodded, too. "Yeah, I think Abby killed Helen. We knew going in that one of us was going to have to. But after the raptor attack, the only logical choice was Abby. She could run faster than I could and she could track quicker than I could, as well."
"It couldn't have been easy for her to kill someone. Not even someone like Helen."
"No, I highly doubt it was easy for her. That will just be another one of those damages that we have to repair when she gets home."
Chapter Nine ||
Chapter Eleven