Across The Borders Of Time (5/14)
Title: Across The Borders Of Time
Author: not_from_stars
Artist(s): danceswithgary and whuffle
Media Link: DancesWithGary and Whuffle
Word Count: 37,255
Fandom: Primeval
Genre: Angst; Het and Slash
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Abby Maitland/Hilary Becker, Danny Quinn/Connor Temple
Summary: Captain Becker was forced to watch as Abby, Danny and Connor went through an anomaly to prevent Helen Cutter from destroying mankind. After Connor is hurt, Danny sends Abby ahead of them to stop Helen no matter what she has to do. Unfortunately, after killing Helen, Abby returns to the site of the anomaly -- only to watch it close before she can go through it. This leaves Abby trapped in the Pleistocene with no way of getting back home, and with no way of letting the people who love her know that she's alive.
Warnings/Spoilers: This is an AU of the last episode of Series 3 and into Series 4.
Author’s Notes: This story has been a labor of love, emphasis on the labor part. I want to thank my beta and cheerleader, enochiansigils, for holding my hand through this and not letting me give up. danceswithgary made me an awesome wallpaper I use on my netbook and a matching icon and she was so infinitely patient with me as I struggled with this story, I want to make sure she gets herthanks for that. I want to thank whuffle for making me extra pretties to go with this and also want to thank whuffle and morrigans_eve for adding their encouragement to that of enochiansigils so that I could stick to writing this.
Abby ran through the forest with an almost single-minded determination. When she saw Helen disappear through a second anomaly, she didn’t even hesitate and ran through after her. She didn’t even stop to think about where they were going or what might happen, she just knew she needed to stop Helen from wiping out humanity.
When she gathered her bearings on the other side of the anomaly, she realized she wasn’t exactly sure what direction to go in. Even though she was moments behind Helen coming through, there was no sign of the older woman.
This was not a good start to what she needed to do.
Taking a deep breath, she looked around the anomaly. She was looking for tracks like Becker - and before him, Stephen - had taught her to do. The sting of pain served to remind her of how much damage Helen had already done to them and how much more she would cause to others if she wasn’t stopped.
It didn’t take her long to find a set of prints that normally wouldn’t be in their current era. Shoe tracks where there shouldn’t be. Abby shifted her backpack and started following in the direction that the tracks headed off into. Helen couldn’t have that much of a head start on her.
It didn’t take her long to find that Helen had had just enough of a head start to cause some damage.
Abby crouched down to the first body, searching for any signs of life. It was no use. All of the members of this family group were dead. She felt an immense wave of sorrow for these people. That sorrow overwhelmed the feeling of desperation that had been driving her since they had followed Helen from the future.
Part of her had held out hope that Helen really wouldn’t do something so insane; so monstrous. Killing Stephen and Nick had been horrible and destructive, but this was so much more. These were innocent creatures who had never done anything wrong to anyone. These innocents were Helen’s ancestors too, and now Abby was aware of just what kind of a monster Helen really was.
She was glad Cutter and Stephen weren’t alive to see what the woman they once loved had become. For the first time, she thought it might be a mercy that they couldn’t see this and wouldn’t see what was about to come.
Seeing these bodies caused something to shift inside Abby. As she straightened up, she felt something inside of her breaking because she knew what she had to do. Something broke inside her because she was about to do something that she would never have considered before.
When she first chased after Helen, she had the wild idea that she could talk sense into her. Failing that, she had planned to attack Helen and knock her out. Once she was unconscious, she would tie her up and drag her back to Danny and Connor. After that, they could take her back to the ARC and incarcerate her or find some other way to deal with her. She had held out hope that somehow, some way, Helen could be brought back to her senses; that she could again be the woman that two brilliant men had loved a long time ago. However, she realized that this was never going to happen. There was only one thing that she could do now.
Kill Helen Cutter.
In destroying all of these creatures and starting on her quest to wipe out humanity, Helen had not only crossed the line, she was about to cause Abby to set foot on a course that she could never come back from.
In trying to kill humanity, Helen Cutter had turned Abby Maitland into a killer.
Because Abby knew that once she crossed that line, there was nothing she could do to come back from that. Taking someone’s life was something that would change her irrevocably and she wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to look at herself the same way.
With this one conscious decision, Abby was going to forever be worried that she would turn into a monster like Helen.
After all, Helen hadn’t started out being a killer, either. Once upon a time, she, like Abby, had been a scientist. Once upon a time, she had been dedicated to the study of life and understanding the world around them. Wasn't that the woman that first Nick and then Stephen had fallen in love with?
Had she changed like Abby was about to change -- because she made the conscious decision to kill someone after she left them? Is that what caused Helen Cutter to lose her mind and her morals? Or, had she always been like that beneath the surface and Nick and Stephen had just never realized that she was bad to the core?
Abby really wished she knew, because she was afraid that after she did this, nothing was ever going to be the same for her. Making the decision to kill Helen was going to affect just more than her conscience and her inner moral compass. Killing someone was going to change her in the eyes of the man she loved more than anything. Becker protected people and he honored life. Until this trip, so had she.
Abby shoved those thoughts deep into her mind so that she could focus on what she needed to do. She looked around the area and saw something flash from further up the river. She shifted her pack and followed the river up the hill and that was where she found Helen pouring something from a canister into the river. The river that carried drinking water down to the tribe of people that had recently died. Something akin to rage moved through Abby as she came into Helen's sight.
"You murdered them."
"I didn't murder them. All I've done is protect the future of this planet."
"These aren't some kind of terrorists, Helen! These are our ancestors and they're innocent of any kind of wrong doing. You can't hold them responsible for the things that have happened in our time."
"Their descendants ruined our planet. If they don't evolve, then this planet is protected from them."
"You murdered them in cold blood, Helen. You're a monster!"
"A monster just destroys everything for no reason, Abby. I'm saving the planet."
"By wiping out all of humanity! By killing all of the people and places that evolve from who and what they are. The people all over the world who make such strides in art and religion and knowledge -- knowledge like ours. Some of them will evolve to become scientists. They become just like us."
"But most of them will become business conglomerates or weapons manufacturers. They'll destroy this planet with chemicals and harmful weapons that kill all of the plants and animals that they can't turn into genetic monsters."
Abby shifted her stance, walking a little closer to Helen. "That might be true with a small amount of evolved humans, but these creatures here have done no wrong and don't deserve to be murdered like this!" Abby shook her head. "This is wrong."
“It’s not wrong, Abby,” Helen’s tone didn’t change even as Abby got closer. “It’s all about protecting the sanctity of life on this planet. Humanity has nearly destroyed it and humanity is going to make amends for it by preventing the destruction from ever happening.”
“Sanctity of life?” Abby scoffed. “Since when has life become sacred to you, Helen? Where was that protectiveness of life when you caused Stephen to be eaten alive? Where was that belief of life being sacred when you killed Nick - or when you murdered Christine Johnson? When you were killing those people you certainly didn’t seem to believe in life. Well, you didn’t believe in anyone else’s life but your own.”
The expression on Helen’s face changed for a moment and then she sighed, shaking her head. “The deaths of Stephen and Nick were unfortunate but couldn’t be prevented. As for Christine, well, you should be thanking me for removing such a dangerous enemy from the lives of all of you. She was focused on nothing less than absolute power and the destruction of anyone who got in her way.”
“And you’re so different than her in that capacity? What the hell do you call travelling back in time to kill the ancestors of mankind? This is nothing but you trying to be all powerful and destroying everything that you don’t agree with.” Abby’s voice hardened. “The deaths of Stephen and of Nick were uncalled for and they could have been avoided. You caused Stephen’s death and you’re the one who shot Nick. Don’t you dare try to tell me that those deaths were unavoidable.”
“Stephen wasn’t supposed to die, Abby. He’s the one that chose to sacrifice himself for Nick and the rest of you.”
“Because of what you and Leek did!”
“Leek was a mistake.”
“Leek was a lot more than a mistake, Helen.”
Helen looked up from the stream, her eyes focused on Abby for a long moment before she smiled faintly. “You were in love with Stephen.”
“That is so not the point.”
“He loved you, too. Oh, he didn’t want to admit it to me, but I could see it in his eyes when he thought you were in danger. I could hear it in his voice when I told him you were dead.”
Abby’s blood ran cold. “You did what?”
“How else was I going to get him angry enough to come after Lester at the ARC and help me with what needed to be done. He loved me, but he wouldn’t have killed for me. I’d always known that about him. He was very concerned about fairness and being a better person. Even when we had the affair, he was always torn between his love for me and his love and respect for Nick.” Helen sat back on his heels, looking at her. “He wouldn’t have killed for me, and even when I told him that Nick and Connor were dead, he wouldn’t have gone that far, either.”
“Because Stephen wasn’t a cold-blooded murderer.”
“He was willing to become one quick enough when I told him that Lester had killed you, as well.”
“How could you? How could you use him like that? He loved you and you got him killed.”
“There are always casualties in war, Abby. Stephen knew that and so did Nick. Your own Captain Becker and Constable Quinn know that. People, good people, always die so that something better can be done for tomorrow and the future.”
If she hadn’t already known what she was going to have to do, when she heard the veiled threat against Becker and Danny, Abby would have made the decision to kill the other woman. To safeguard the people she loved, she could kill.
“Murder isn’t the same as war, Helen,” Abby said evenly. “Killing Stephen and Nick wasn’t war.”
“The losing side always says that.”
“Killing these creatures - these people - it isn’t war, Helen. These people have done nothing wrong. How can you punish them for something their descendants have done when it’s not right?”
“Killing them stops the crimes of their descendants.”
“Killing them kills us as well!” Abby burst out.
“That’s not entirely true,” Helen said, getting to her feet. She brushed her hands off on her pants. “Come with me, Abby.”
That was definitely unexpected. She just stared at Helen for a moment. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Why in the hell would you think that I would ever join you in anything?”
“Because you care. What happens to the creatures of this world matters to you and you go out of your way to protect them. You hide the ones you can at your own expense so that they stay safe and don’t get caged up or experimented on.” Helen smirked. “You’re really not all that different from me.”
Abby narrowed her eyes, shaking her head. "I'm nothing like you, Helen. I don't go around causing the deaths of the people who love me to further my own agenda. I don't try to change the way the world has evolved just because I want to grab power."
"This isn't about power, Abby."
"Isn't it? That's all you've ever done since I first met you -- try to grab as much power for yourself as you can and to hell with anyone that might get hurt in the process."
"It's about making the world a better place and undoing what we've done to almost destroy this planet. If humans had never evolved there wouldn't be pollution and large scale destruction of the other inhabitants of the world. Humans have done nothing but kill and destroy ever since they have been able to."
"That's not your call to make! Have bad things happened throughout the history of the world? Yes, no one is denying that. Are humans the cause of all of them? No."
"It is my call to make when I have the capability to stop it and fix everything that has gone so wrong."
"By killing anyone who stands in your way or doesn't think the way that you do." Abby's voice was bitter. "Like Stephen and Nick. Like Claudia Brown -- the woman that Nick cared for before you changed the world."
"I didn't hurt Claudia. In fact, I saved her life. I don't know what happened or why she suddenly disappeared from everyone's memories but mine and Nick's."
"You didn't care, either."
"It wasn't important."
"And that attitude right there is why I'm nothing like you. I care about life -- all life. I don't pick and choose who has the right to live or to die."
"No?" Helen smiled. "I know you, Abby. You've thought about it. You've thought about how much easier things would be if certain people were just out of the way and you could take care of the animals that need you. You've clenched your jaw and you've stayed up nights crying yourself to sleep because the pain has gotten so bad and you don't know if you can get through another day seeing people die for being stupid -- or seeing creatures destroyed because other people couldn't be respectful enough of their boundaries."
Abby shook her head in denial. There had been times like that -- where she had thought things that were best left unspoken -- but she had never shared them and she would never act on them. Life meant too much to her in normal circumstances and she would never have done the things Helen had already done.
"Come with me, Abby," Helen said again. "I have so much that I can show you. Once you see the things I've seen, you'll understand."
"It's kind of hard to make any travel plans like that when you're trying to wipe out our very existence." Abby's voice was carefully controlled.
"You and I can escape that fate if we go through the anomaly that I've already discovered."
"What about the others? Danny and Connor? Lester, Sarah and Jenny? Becker?"
"Their time is done, Abby. Surely you see that. There's a reason that you're the one that is here right now and they're not. They're not true, passionate scientists like the two of us are."
"Those people are important! They have great things to do and people that care about them."
"None of that matters. After we finish here, we'll move on and you'll see how right I've been and that I had no choice but to be the one to take care of things."
None of that matters.
Abby heard the words, but she couldn't believe that Helen was actually saying them to her.
"They matter," she insisted. "Becker matters."
"Nothing matters but preserving everything that will be lost in the future. Once we're done here, he'll cease to exist just like the others. He won't even be aware of it happening. I promise he won't feel any pain."
Unlike what had happened to Stephen.
The idea of a world without Becker and the others in it made Abby's heart clench.
"Don't." Abby looked at Helen and she was fighting hard to keep control. "Please don't do this."
"You'll see, Abby. This needs to be done and then we'll leave here. The others will become nothing but memories, and soon, those will fade, too."
Abby didn't realize the gun had found its way into her hand until she heard the echo of the shot. She felt her finger squeeze the trigger and another shot sounded. She knew distantly that those two shots had found their mark. She knew that she hadn't missed at this range. However, she heard several more shots as she emptied the clip into Helen's body. It wasn't until she felt the click of the firing mechanism in her hands that she became aware of a harsh breathing sound in her ears. When her hands dropped to her sides, she was surprised to find that tears were streaming down her face and her breathing had become choked gasps.
She forced herself to walk to Helen's body and dropped to her knees beside her. With a shaking hand, she closed the other woman's eyes. She couldn't believe she had actually killed her and it was going to take her awhile to move on from this. Knowing that she needed to be stopped and actually doing it had been two different things.
It was the threat to Becker that had caused her to snap, she could admit that to herself. It had been bad enough to think of him being killed because of what Helen was doing. However, the idea of forgetting about him had snapped something within her. Her memories of those she loved were something incredibly important to her. Being told that she would soon lose all of those memories was apparently the last straw for her self-control.
Not that she had been tempted to follow Helen in her mad quest.
Not that she had been curious to know how Helen intended to wipe out their ancestors and yet keep Abby and herself alive.
She wasn't sure how long she sat there with Helen's body. A sluggish thought moved through her mind that she needed to get back up. She needed to get back to Connor and Danny. She needed to tell them it was over and that they could go home. It was over and they could all rest easily for awhile until the next crisis arrived on their laps.
But she couldn't leave Helen out like this. She couldn't just leave her body her like a piece of carrion. The other woman hadn't always been the twisted person that she had been forced to kill. There must have been something good in her at one time for Nick and Stephen to have loved her.
There had to be more to who she had been than the fanatic that had almost swayed Abby to her way of thinking in an emotional moment.
Swallowing hard, Abby got to her feet and went to where Helen had placed her pack. She ignored the other silver canister she saw in the side pocket. In fact, she ignored the pack all together except for the camping shovel that was tied to one side of it. She wasn't surprised that there was a shovel. Helen had been maddening efficient, after all.
She didn't know how long it took her to do it, but she finally had a shallow hole dug beneath some trees near the river. It wasn't deep enough to discourage predators, but it was just enough to make Abby feel that she had tried to give Helen something respectful.
Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to do a thorough and careful search of the dead woman's pockets. She wasn't even sure why she was doing so -- unless it was to add to the belongings in an effort to later study them and try to learn what she had. She took everything she removed from Helen's body and placed them in Helen's discarded backpack.
When she had found everything there was to be found, Abby dragged Helen's body over to the hastily dug grave and gently rolled her into it. She quickly covered her in the dirt from the hole and patted it down as best as she could.
"It should have been different," she said softly. "I never wanted to kill, but I couldn't let you kill anyone else, either." She felt a tear slide down her face, but she couldn't honestly say who that tear was for. "I couldn't let you wipe out the entire human race and I couldn't let you take away anyone else that I loved." Abby swallowed, wiping her face. "Maybe now Nick and Stephen's spirits can find peace. Maybe now, they can rest."
She didn't know how long she stood there, but she realized at some point that she had to get moving. She had to get back to the guys so that they could go home.
It was over.
Chapter Four || Chapter Six
Author: not_from_stars
Artist(s): danceswithgary and whuffle
Media Link: DancesWithGary and Whuffle
Word Count: 37,255
Fandom: Primeval
Genre: Angst; Het and Slash
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Abby Maitland/Hilary Becker, Danny Quinn/Connor Temple
Summary: Captain Becker was forced to watch as Abby, Danny and Connor went through an anomaly to prevent Helen Cutter from destroying mankind. After Connor is hurt, Danny sends Abby ahead of them to stop Helen no matter what she has to do. Unfortunately, after killing Helen, Abby returns to the site of the anomaly -- only to watch it close before she can go through it. This leaves Abby trapped in the Pleistocene with no way of getting back home, and with no way of letting the people who love her know that she's alive.
Warnings/Spoilers: This is an AU of the last episode of Series 3 and into Series 4.
Author’s Notes: This story has been a labor of love, emphasis on the labor part. I want to thank my beta and cheerleader, enochiansigils, for holding my hand through this and not letting me give up. danceswithgary made me an awesome wallpaper I use on my netbook and a matching icon and she was so infinitely patient with me as I struggled with this story, I want to make sure she gets herthanks for that. I want to thank whuffle for making me extra pretties to go with this and also want to thank whuffle and morrigans_eve for adding their encouragement to that of enochiansigils so that I could stick to writing this.
Abby ran through the forest with an almost single-minded determination. When she saw Helen disappear through a second anomaly, she didn’t even hesitate and ran through after her. She didn’t even stop to think about where they were going or what might happen, she just knew she needed to stop Helen from wiping out humanity.
When she gathered her bearings on the other side of the anomaly, she realized she wasn’t exactly sure what direction to go in. Even though she was moments behind Helen coming through, there was no sign of the older woman.
This was not a good start to what she needed to do.
Taking a deep breath, she looked around the anomaly. She was looking for tracks like Becker - and before him, Stephen - had taught her to do. The sting of pain served to remind her of how much damage Helen had already done to them and how much more she would cause to others if she wasn’t stopped.
It didn’t take her long to find a set of prints that normally wouldn’t be in their current era. Shoe tracks where there shouldn’t be. Abby shifted her backpack and started following in the direction that the tracks headed off into. Helen couldn’t have that much of a head start on her.
It didn’t take her long to find that Helen had had just enough of a head start to cause some damage.
Abby crouched down to the first body, searching for any signs of life. It was no use. All of the members of this family group were dead. She felt an immense wave of sorrow for these people. That sorrow overwhelmed the feeling of desperation that had been driving her since they had followed Helen from the future.
Part of her had held out hope that Helen really wouldn’t do something so insane; so monstrous. Killing Stephen and Nick had been horrible and destructive, but this was so much more. These were innocent creatures who had never done anything wrong to anyone. These innocents were Helen’s ancestors too, and now Abby was aware of just what kind of a monster Helen really was.
She was glad Cutter and Stephen weren’t alive to see what the woman they once loved had become. For the first time, she thought it might be a mercy that they couldn’t see this and wouldn’t see what was about to come.
Seeing these bodies caused something to shift inside Abby. As she straightened up, she felt something inside of her breaking because she knew what she had to do. Something broke inside her because she was about to do something that she would never have considered before.
When she first chased after Helen, she had the wild idea that she could talk sense into her. Failing that, she had planned to attack Helen and knock her out. Once she was unconscious, she would tie her up and drag her back to Danny and Connor. After that, they could take her back to the ARC and incarcerate her or find some other way to deal with her. She had held out hope that somehow, some way, Helen could be brought back to her senses; that she could again be the woman that two brilliant men had loved a long time ago. However, she realized that this was never going to happen. There was only one thing that she could do now.
Kill Helen Cutter.
In destroying all of these creatures and starting on her quest to wipe out humanity, Helen had not only crossed the line, she was about to cause Abby to set foot on a course that she could never come back from.
In trying to kill humanity, Helen Cutter had turned Abby Maitland into a killer.
Because Abby knew that once she crossed that line, there was nothing she could do to come back from that. Taking someone’s life was something that would change her irrevocably and she wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to look at herself the same way.
With this one conscious decision, Abby was going to forever be worried that she would turn into a monster like Helen.
After all, Helen hadn’t started out being a killer, either. Once upon a time, she, like Abby, had been a scientist. Once upon a time, she had been dedicated to the study of life and understanding the world around them. Wasn't that the woman that first Nick and then Stephen had fallen in love with?
Had she changed like Abby was about to change -- because she made the conscious decision to kill someone after she left them? Is that what caused Helen Cutter to lose her mind and her morals? Or, had she always been like that beneath the surface and Nick and Stephen had just never realized that she was bad to the core?
Abby really wished she knew, because she was afraid that after she did this, nothing was ever going to be the same for her. Making the decision to kill Helen was going to affect just more than her conscience and her inner moral compass. Killing someone was going to change her in the eyes of the man she loved more than anything. Becker protected people and he honored life. Until this trip, so had she.
Abby shoved those thoughts deep into her mind so that she could focus on what she needed to do. She looked around the area and saw something flash from further up the river. She shifted her pack and followed the river up the hill and that was where she found Helen pouring something from a canister into the river. The river that carried drinking water down to the tribe of people that had recently died. Something akin to rage moved through Abby as she came into Helen's sight.
"You murdered them."
"I didn't murder them. All I've done is protect the future of this planet."
"These aren't some kind of terrorists, Helen! These are our ancestors and they're innocent of any kind of wrong doing. You can't hold them responsible for the things that have happened in our time."
"Their descendants ruined our planet. If they don't evolve, then this planet is protected from them."
"You murdered them in cold blood, Helen. You're a monster!"
"A monster just destroys everything for no reason, Abby. I'm saving the planet."
"By wiping out all of humanity! By killing all of the people and places that evolve from who and what they are. The people all over the world who make such strides in art and religion and knowledge -- knowledge like ours. Some of them will evolve to become scientists. They become just like us."
"But most of them will become business conglomerates or weapons manufacturers. They'll destroy this planet with chemicals and harmful weapons that kill all of the plants and animals that they can't turn into genetic monsters."
Abby shifted her stance, walking a little closer to Helen. "That might be true with a small amount of evolved humans, but these creatures here have done no wrong and don't deserve to be murdered like this!" Abby shook her head. "This is wrong."
“It’s not wrong, Abby,” Helen’s tone didn’t change even as Abby got closer. “It’s all about protecting the sanctity of life on this planet. Humanity has nearly destroyed it and humanity is going to make amends for it by preventing the destruction from ever happening.”
“Sanctity of life?” Abby scoffed. “Since when has life become sacred to you, Helen? Where was that protectiveness of life when you caused Stephen to be eaten alive? Where was that belief of life being sacred when you killed Nick - or when you murdered Christine Johnson? When you were killing those people you certainly didn’t seem to believe in life. Well, you didn’t believe in anyone else’s life but your own.”
The expression on Helen’s face changed for a moment and then she sighed, shaking her head. “The deaths of Stephen and Nick were unfortunate but couldn’t be prevented. As for Christine, well, you should be thanking me for removing such a dangerous enemy from the lives of all of you. She was focused on nothing less than absolute power and the destruction of anyone who got in her way.”
“And you’re so different than her in that capacity? What the hell do you call travelling back in time to kill the ancestors of mankind? This is nothing but you trying to be all powerful and destroying everything that you don’t agree with.” Abby’s voice hardened. “The deaths of Stephen and of Nick were uncalled for and they could have been avoided. You caused Stephen’s death and you’re the one who shot Nick. Don’t you dare try to tell me that those deaths were unavoidable.”
“Stephen wasn’t supposed to die, Abby. He’s the one that chose to sacrifice himself for Nick and the rest of you.”
“Because of what you and Leek did!”
“Leek was a mistake.”
“Leek was a lot more than a mistake, Helen.”
Helen looked up from the stream, her eyes focused on Abby for a long moment before she smiled faintly. “You were in love with Stephen.”
“That is so not the point.”
“He loved you, too. Oh, he didn’t want to admit it to me, but I could see it in his eyes when he thought you were in danger. I could hear it in his voice when I told him you were dead.”
Abby’s blood ran cold. “You did what?”
“How else was I going to get him angry enough to come after Lester at the ARC and help me with what needed to be done. He loved me, but he wouldn’t have killed for me. I’d always known that about him. He was very concerned about fairness and being a better person. Even when we had the affair, he was always torn between his love for me and his love and respect for Nick.” Helen sat back on his heels, looking at her. “He wouldn’t have killed for me, and even when I told him that Nick and Connor were dead, he wouldn’t have gone that far, either.”
“Because Stephen wasn’t a cold-blooded murderer.”
“He was willing to become one quick enough when I told him that Lester had killed you, as well.”
“How could you? How could you use him like that? He loved you and you got him killed.”
“There are always casualties in war, Abby. Stephen knew that and so did Nick. Your own Captain Becker and Constable Quinn know that. People, good people, always die so that something better can be done for tomorrow and the future.”
If she hadn’t already known what she was going to have to do, when she heard the veiled threat against Becker and Danny, Abby would have made the decision to kill the other woman. To safeguard the people she loved, she could kill.
“Murder isn’t the same as war, Helen,” Abby said evenly. “Killing Stephen and Nick wasn’t war.”
“The losing side always says that.”
“Killing these creatures - these people - it isn’t war, Helen. These people have done nothing wrong. How can you punish them for something their descendants have done when it’s not right?”
“Killing them stops the crimes of their descendants.”
“Killing them kills us as well!” Abby burst out.
“That’s not entirely true,” Helen said, getting to her feet. She brushed her hands off on her pants. “Come with me, Abby.”
That was definitely unexpected. She just stared at Helen for a moment. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Why in the hell would you think that I would ever join you in anything?”
“Because you care. What happens to the creatures of this world matters to you and you go out of your way to protect them. You hide the ones you can at your own expense so that they stay safe and don’t get caged up or experimented on.” Helen smirked. “You’re really not all that different from me.”
Abby narrowed her eyes, shaking her head. "I'm nothing like you, Helen. I don't go around causing the deaths of the people who love me to further my own agenda. I don't try to change the way the world has evolved just because I want to grab power."
"This isn't about power, Abby."
"Isn't it? That's all you've ever done since I first met you -- try to grab as much power for yourself as you can and to hell with anyone that might get hurt in the process."
"It's about making the world a better place and undoing what we've done to almost destroy this planet. If humans had never evolved there wouldn't be pollution and large scale destruction of the other inhabitants of the world. Humans have done nothing but kill and destroy ever since they have been able to."
"That's not your call to make! Have bad things happened throughout the history of the world? Yes, no one is denying that. Are humans the cause of all of them? No."
"It is my call to make when I have the capability to stop it and fix everything that has gone so wrong."
"By killing anyone who stands in your way or doesn't think the way that you do." Abby's voice was bitter. "Like Stephen and Nick. Like Claudia Brown -- the woman that Nick cared for before you changed the world."
"I didn't hurt Claudia. In fact, I saved her life. I don't know what happened or why she suddenly disappeared from everyone's memories but mine and Nick's."
"You didn't care, either."
"It wasn't important."
"And that attitude right there is why I'm nothing like you. I care about life -- all life. I don't pick and choose who has the right to live or to die."
"No?" Helen smiled. "I know you, Abby. You've thought about it. You've thought about how much easier things would be if certain people were just out of the way and you could take care of the animals that need you. You've clenched your jaw and you've stayed up nights crying yourself to sleep because the pain has gotten so bad and you don't know if you can get through another day seeing people die for being stupid -- or seeing creatures destroyed because other people couldn't be respectful enough of their boundaries."
Abby shook her head in denial. There had been times like that -- where she had thought things that were best left unspoken -- but she had never shared them and she would never act on them. Life meant too much to her in normal circumstances and she would never have done the things Helen had already done.
"Come with me, Abby," Helen said again. "I have so much that I can show you. Once you see the things I've seen, you'll understand."
"It's kind of hard to make any travel plans like that when you're trying to wipe out our very existence." Abby's voice was carefully controlled.
"You and I can escape that fate if we go through the anomaly that I've already discovered."
"What about the others? Danny and Connor? Lester, Sarah and Jenny? Becker?"
"Their time is done, Abby. Surely you see that. There's a reason that you're the one that is here right now and they're not. They're not true, passionate scientists like the two of us are."
"Those people are important! They have great things to do and people that care about them."
"None of that matters. After we finish here, we'll move on and you'll see how right I've been and that I had no choice but to be the one to take care of things."
None of that matters.
Abby heard the words, but she couldn't believe that Helen was actually saying them to her.
"They matter," she insisted. "Becker matters."
"Nothing matters but preserving everything that will be lost in the future. Once we're done here, he'll cease to exist just like the others. He won't even be aware of it happening. I promise he won't feel any pain."
Unlike what had happened to Stephen.
The idea of a world without Becker and the others in it made Abby's heart clench.
"Don't." Abby looked at Helen and she was fighting hard to keep control. "Please don't do this."
"You'll see, Abby. This needs to be done and then we'll leave here. The others will become nothing but memories, and soon, those will fade, too."
Abby didn't realize the gun had found its way into her hand until she heard the echo of the shot. She felt her finger squeeze the trigger and another shot sounded. She knew distantly that those two shots had found their mark. She knew that she hadn't missed at this range. However, she heard several more shots as she emptied the clip into Helen's body. It wasn't until she felt the click of the firing mechanism in her hands that she became aware of a harsh breathing sound in her ears. When her hands dropped to her sides, she was surprised to find that tears were streaming down her face and her breathing had become choked gasps.
She forced herself to walk to Helen's body and dropped to her knees beside her. With a shaking hand, she closed the other woman's eyes. She couldn't believe she had actually killed her and it was going to take her awhile to move on from this. Knowing that she needed to be stopped and actually doing it had been two different things.
It was the threat to Becker that had caused her to snap, she could admit that to herself. It had been bad enough to think of him being killed because of what Helen was doing. However, the idea of forgetting about him had snapped something within her. Her memories of those she loved were something incredibly important to her. Being told that she would soon lose all of those memories was apparently the last straw for her self-control.
Not that she had been tempted to follow Helen in her mad quest.
Not that she had been curious to know how Helen intended to wipe out their ancestors and yet keep Abby and herself alive.
She wasn't sure how long she sat there with Helen's body. A sluggish thought moved through her mind that she needed to get back up. She needed to get back to Connor and Danny. She needed to tell them it was over and that they could go home. It was over and they could all rest easily for awhile until the next crisis arrived on their laps.
But she couldn't leave Helen out like this. She couldn't just leave her body her like a piece of carrion. The other woman hadn't always been the twisted person that she had been forced to kill. There must have been something good in her at one time for Nick and Stephen to have loved her.
There had to be more to who she had been than the fanatic that had almost swayed Abby to her way of thinking in an emotional moment.
Swallowing hard, Abby got to her feet and went to where Helen had placed her pack. She ignored the other silver canister she saw in the side pocket. In fact, she ignored the pack all together except for the camping shovel that was tied to one side of it. She wasn't surprised that there was a shovel. Helen had been maddening efficient, after all.
She didn't know how long it took her to do it, but she finally had a shallow hole dug beneath some trees near the river. It wasn't deep enough to discourage predators, but it was just enough to make Abby feel that she had tried to give Helen something respectful.
Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to do a thorough and careful search of the dead woman's pockets. She wasn't even sure why she was doing so -- unless it was to add to the belongings in an effort to later study them and try to learn what she had. She took everything she removed from Helen's body and placed them in Helen's discarded backpack.
When she had found everything there was to be found, Abby dragged Helen's body over to the hastily dug grave and gently rolled her into it. She quickly covered her in the dirt from the hole and patted it down as best as she could.
"It should have been different," she said softly. "I never wanted to kill, but I couldn't let you kill anyone else, either." She felt a tear slide down her face, but she couldn't honestly say who that tear was for. "I couldn't let you wipe out the entire human race and I couldn't let you take away anyone else that I loved." Abby swallowed, wiping her face. "Maybe now Nick and Stephen's spirits can find peace. Maybe now, they can rest."
She didn't know how long she stood there, but she realized at some point that she had to get moving. She had to get back to the guys so that they could go home.
It was over.
Chapter Four || Chapter Six