When We Collide - Harry/Louis - Chapter 8
Title: When We Collide
Pairings: Harry/Louis
Part: Chapter 8 of ?
Genre: AU, Romance
Rating: R
Summary: Harry and Louis live parallel lives where nothing much happens, but when the lines begin to intersect, they find themselves in situations bigger than either of them have ever bargained for.
♔ PROLOGUE || CHAPTER ONE || CHAPTER TWO || CHAPTER THREE || CHAPTER FOUR || CHAPTER FIVE || CHAPTER SIX || CHAPTER SEVEN
Chapter eight
Louis wishes he can say something and then crawl back in his little hole and pretend nothing had ever happened.
He wracks his brain for excuses-“sorry, I have to finish working on the stage” or “I’m really glad to see you but I just have got to go, I’m sorry”-but the way Liam’s eyebrows are drawn in complete and utter confusion and shock and his brown eyes are firing off questions in such quick succession that Louis can feel holes boring themselves in his chest traps the words in his throat and he can only manage a sigh, discomfort falling thick and heavy over him that he can barely look in Liam’s eyes.
“I-What-Liam-” Louis tries to push through his lips when Liam begins to turn his body toward the exit, his knees starting to shake because he’s never been good at this stuff, never been good in uncomfortable situations where there’s a need for explanations because it’s usually Zayn or Niall who handle everything when he finds his tongue tied to the roof of his mouth. At times like these, it always seemed like the entire English vocabulary is wiped off from his brain, and all he can do is stand there like a bloody idiot and hope the look in his eyes can offer what his mind is trying desperately to convey.
But Liam completely misses the point and he only narrows his eyes, more confused than ever, and Louis gives an awkward laugh, the sound like a balloon deflating and there’s an involuntary gulp lodged in there somewhere, and he wipes his hands on his trousers when they start dampening with sweat.
“What?” he asks, dipping his head closer and Louis stands erect as a statue, arms locked on either side because he’s just so shocked about Niall’s reaction, and he’s this close to saying a quick “bye!” and running outside, grab Niall by the arm wherever he is, and tell them to kiss and make up because he absolutely hates being in this position. In the back of his mind, he makes a note to kill Niall when they get home.
“I-er-I’m sorry about what just happened,” Louis says slowly, his mind finally succeeding to cooperate, and he can see the surprise on Liam’s face disappearing, which he takes for a good sign. “I’m not exactly sure why that happened but I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason.”
“I don’t understand, Lou, did I do something wrong?” Liam says, voice sounding like a kicked puppy, and Louis can feel the discomfort crushing his ribcage and he wishes he had Niall standing next to him to fill them both in because he’s just as confused as Liam. Where the hell is he? “Should I not have come in?”
“No, no, I’m sure it’s nothing like that,” Louis tries to convince him, though he’s not quite sure himself, “Niall’s just been… stressed lately and I think he’s just now taking the brunt of it full force. I’m sure he’ll come back and this’ll all be resolved.”
But Liam’s expression doesn’t change and even though they’re not the closest people in the world, Louis feels an irresistible urge to wrap his arms around him and tell him everything’s going to be alright because Liam has that effect on people, can make someone want to console him when he’s feeling down because the look on his face is not something anybody wants to see, not something anyone should see.
“But should I go over there and-” Liam begins, his tone getting desperate, but Louis shakes his head and leads him back to the bar, offering him a seat and slipping behind the counter.
“Just give him some time to cool off, I’m sure he’ll be back in a few minutes,” Louis assures him, sliding the notebook over and placing a mug in front of his hands. As he pours fresh coffee from the pot, he takes a peek at the wall clock and realizes with a start that it’s less than two hours until showtime and he’s barely got the stage set up.
“Erm, I’ve got-”
“So, how’ve you been?” Liam cuts him off, closing his hands over the cup’s mouth and trapping the steam inside. Louis laughs awkwardly for the hundredth time and drops his shoulders, not wanting to be rude especially after not having seen each other for over a year. He sighs softly and drops down on the countertop on his elbows, figuring that taking Liam’s mind off the whole event means less questions and less feeling uncomfortable about the whole situation, which, now that he thinks about it, would be better for the both of them.
“I’ve been good,” Louis says with a smile, flicking his eyes from Liam’s face to the clock. The minute hand moves over one and he goes back to Liam’s eyes. He’ll indulge him for half an hour at the most but that’ll be it. He’ll need to work on the stage as soon possible. “How about you?”
::
When Harry makes his final sale for the day, he offers his hand to the man standing in front of him with a smile and wishes him a good evening.
Being cashier is more fun than he had initially thought. What he reckoned would be a very monotonous, almost sort of boring position turned out to be one of the more fun things he’d done in a long time. He loved seeing the faces of the patrons when their eyes landed on the pastries and loved when they tried to strike up a conversation with him, which he didn’t mind, really. He loves to talk to people.
Caroline stayed by his side the entire time, a pen in her hand ready to cross out any mistakes he made in the receipts and offering answers when the customers would ask about a certain pastry or of they did orders and deliveries and whatnot, and, to his surprise considering how clingy she seemed to be earlier, she only talked to him if he had questions regarding the register or if business was slow and the silence was dragging on too long, then they would talk about their lives and what they liked to do and other random things that would pop in their heads. It was talking to her like this that made him realize that Caroline isn’t all that bad.
She has a twin sister, Jody, who’s always overshadowed her. Jody had better grades, better sense of style, a larger circle of friends, and more boyfriends than Caroline could count. Caroline, on the other hand, had been a bit geeky in high school, had a tight, close-knit circle of friends, had only a handful of boyfriends, though none serious, and had average grades. Jody went on to a university in Scotland to pursue her doctorate in psychology. Caroline went on to study dance in the local community college while working in a modestly-sized bakery. She’s still a bit bitter about her sister, but she can’t really blame her for anything. People just blossom differently, and it just turned out that Jody had spent a little more time in the sunshine than Caroline sitting halfway hidden in the shadows.
“That’s why I’m always excited to meet new people,” Caroline had said. “I know I can be a bit abrasive and a tad loony, but it’s really just me appreciating the fact that someone actually wants to talk to me.”
Harry immediately felt bad for thinking bad things about her before getting to know each other, and he takes it upon himself to take her to lunch at Bistro Eleanor tomorrow.
“I just want to thank you for helping me get this job and training me and everything,” he says, and Caroline, making her way to the back table, stops in her tracks and fixes her eyes on him.
“Really?” she asks, tucking her hair behind her ear and watching Harry with large, doe-like eyes. Harry nods with a smile as he opens the register and takes the stack of receipts, face starting to flush. Caroline’s face switches from inquiry to delight in a fraction of a second, and she lets out the tiniest giggle before giving him an enthusiastic nod. “I’d-I’d love it. Thanks.”
“No problem,” Harry says, giving her the receipts and brushing his hair with his fingers. “I’ve, er, I’ve actually got to go and prepare for the performance. Would you mind if I left right now?”
Caroline shakes her head and folds the stack, the smile never leaving her lips. “Of course not. You go on ahead and I’ll just see you after my shift.”
“I’ll see you then.”
With a grin, Harry takes his jumper from the cabinet below him and, slipping it on, he waves at Caroline and yells goodbye to Jenny before pushing through the doors and out into the cold, darkening street.
He tightens his jumper around him and tries his best to get his hair from being blown back by occasional gusts of wind by dipping his head low and looking at the path ahead through his unruly curls.
He can’t help but think about Louis’s behavior during lunch. He knows he shouldn’t dwell on it much-he barely knows him. And the few things he does know aren’t necessarily the best situations for a person to be in. Living with abuse alone is enough to occupy his mind, to not want to talk about trivial things, especially from a stranger, and really, Harry should have been more thoughtful, should have considered that Louis might not completely have healed from the whole ordeal, even though his bruise seems to fade by the hour and his smile makes it seem like it never happened in the first place.
He sighs and kicks a crushed soda can into the street, and it’s then that he sees someone sitting on the edge curb, arms wrapped around his legs, hugging them close to his chest, hood fluttering softly in the breeze hiding a golden fringe that he flips out of his eyes when a sudden wind blows it into chaos.
Niall.
Harry doesn’t hesitate and walks faster until he’s behind him, and he plops down next to him, dips his head low so he can see his eyes, and asks softly, “You alright, mate?”
Niall gives a slight nod and brings a hand to wipe his nose, and he gives a sniff before clearing his throat and saying, “Hey, Harry.”
His voice wet and Harry’s heart drops, and he reaches his arm around Niall’s shoulders and pulls him close. “What’s wrong, Niall? Did something happen?”
“I’m fine, really,” Niall replies, but the cracks in his voice betray him and Harry lifts his hand and starts to rub the back of his head, not really knowing what to say. Apparently sensing this, Niall ducks out from Harry’s touch and turns to face him, and he wipes his eyes with his sleeve and flashes him a convincing grin. “I’m alright. Lou’s freaking out in the café getting the stage set up. You should go see him.”
“Are you going to be alright out here?” Harry asks, watching Niall’s glassy eyes catch the light from the streetlamps turning on all around them, and Niall nods with a laugh and wipes his eyes again.
“I’m sure. Go on.”
Harry gives his shoulder a light squeeze before standing up and making his way to the café, turning to look over his shoulder to see Niall pulling his hood lower down his head, his back shaking slightly from trying to suppress his sobs.
::
When Louis hears the bell and sees Harry’s shivering form emerging from the other side of the doors, he can’t help but feel a lightness in his chest, and he flicks his eyes back to Liam, managing to catch the last bit of his sentence.
“…when I decided to put in an ad for a new roommate.”
Louis nods inattentively, mind already occupied by Harry’s smile as he makes his way to them, and after seeing that Louis has shifted his attention to something else behind him, Liam turns just in time to see Harry give them a wave.
“Hey, Harry,” Louis says after Harry stops next to Liam. “I didn’t know you were roommates with Liam here.”
“Yeah, I didn’t know you guys knew each other,” Harry replies, and, shifting his eyes to Liam, he says, “What are you doing here so early? The performances don’t start for another hour and a half.”
“Oh, just came to bring your things,” Liam says, patting the notebook next to his coffee mug, and Harry sees his guitar leaning on the seat next to him. “I thought you’d forgotten them.”
“I was going back to the flat to get them but this is a much better idea, thanks,” Harry says, sliding the notebook across the counter and flipping it open. Suddenly, he remembers Niall sitting just a few ways outside, and he lifts his head and tells Louis, “Oh, I almost forgot. Niall’s sitting all by himself outside on the curb. He’s really upset. Do you know what happened?”
Louis’s eyes flash open and he flicks them to the wall clock once again. An hour and twenty-two minutes until the show starts. He curses himself inwardly for wasting too much time and he takes off the apron and hangs it haphazardly on the wall behind him. Liam starts to get up but Louis shakes his head and grabs his jacket from the back table, and he says, “No, I’ll get him. You just prepare for your performance and we’ll be right in.”
But Liam’s persistent and he calls out to Louis, who’s already halfway across the café, and asks, “Lou, is there anything I can do?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon,” Louis dismisses, and he zips up his jacket, flips on his hood, and pushes through the doors and into the frigid air outside.
It doesn’t take him long to spot Niall sitting a few ways from him, right next to a streetlamp, his head ducked between his knees and his arms around his legs. Before he knows it, he’s breaking into a run, and in a few seconds, he’s right beside Niall, and he sits himself properly a few inches apart because he doesn’t want to scare him.
“Ni?” Louis asks, and Niall lifts his head almost at once, looking around to find the source of the sound, and when his eyes find Louis, he wipes them with the back of his hand and smiles.
“What are you doing out here?” Niall asks wetly, his voice deep and cracking at parts. “Shouldn’t you be setting up? You’ve only got, like, an hour to finish, don’t you?”
“That can all wait,” Louis says, heart feeling heavy when he sees Niall take a few short breaths and jam the base of his palms against his eyes, twisting them to stop the tears from flowing. Louis inches closer until their knees touch and wraps an arm around his shoulder. “Are you going to tell me what that was all about?”
Niall doesn’t answer at first, only breathing heavily and picking at his nails, and Louis waits patiently, rubbing circles on his back and moving closer because he can feel Niall shivering against him.
After what seems like forever, Niall finally clears his throat and leans his head on Louis’s shoulder, and Louis pulls him closer because his voice is soft and fragile when he says, “Why now, Lou? Why did he decide to come back now?”
“I-I don’t know,” Louis says, mind shutting down and he feels helpless when he doesn’t know what to say. Niall’s always been good at this stuff, comes to him naturally-making people feel better-and it’s an ability Louis always lacked and envied. He wishes Niall can tell him what to do, what to say and how to say it, and he tries to recollect all the times Niall offered him consolation and the thousand times he’s comforted him when he came crying at his door at night when Zayn came home drunk. But nothing comes up and he’s left with the unsettling sound of Niall’s shaky breaths and cars rushing past them, and he resigns and lets out a deep sigh, wishing that he can be the better friend Niall deserves.
“It’s been a year, Lou, a year,” Niall continues, tone getting stronger, and Louis listens to every word, trying to come up with something, anything to say. “A year passed by and he’s never called or visited once, and now, he comes barging in like everything’s fine, like nothing ever happened. Why-why would he do that, Lou? How can he think that it’s fine to just walk up to me one day and say ‘hi’ like we haven’t seen each other since yesterday?”
Louis’s breath hitches in his throat as he tries to make sense of everything, and it’s not until that moment that he realizes that he had been right, that something had gone on between him and Liam. He recalls a few moments where Niall seemed like the happiest boy on earth when he would spend time with Liam and he doesn’t know why he’s never noticed it, why he’d always been too preoccupied with his own relationship to see Niall’s, his best friend’s, budding right in front of his eyes, and he feels lousy, really lousy, and he can’t bring himself to look at Niall.
“Ni, I’m-I’m sorry I never noticed before,” is all he can manage to say, his voice hoarse and dry, and Niall looks up at him with his glassy blue eyes for a fraction of a second before dropping them back down to the street, and Louis feels him shift closer.
“We weren’t going out or anything,” Niall elaborates with a sniff, voice gaining momentum, and Louis can feel the hairs on the back of his head stand on end when Niall lifts his head and looks at Louis straight in the eye. “At least, not just yet. You know I have a hard time opening up to someone. I mean, it took us a few years to get this close. But with him, it was like-there was something about him that told me he wanted to know more, and I don’t know why but it was easy for me to let him in. I thought he loved me, I really did. I thought one day he’d sweep me off my feet and ride me up on the back of his horse to his castle like a fucking Disney film and we’ll live happily fucking ever after. And when I thought we were getting closer and I was working up the courage to make it official because I wanted us to be more than friends and I knew he wanted the same thing, too, he decides to go to fucking uni and I’m left waiting for his fucking phone calls every night that never came. Do you know how frustrating that is, Lou?”
Louis can only shake his head, Niall’s anger radiating from his eyes almost visible, and he’s more dumbstruck than ever.
“I tried calling him a million times but the line’s always fucking disconnected and I had no idea how to contact him. I thought he was angry at me. I thought that maybe I’d done something wrong, and I felt that way every fucking time I went to bed. But then that happened and I don’t know what to think anymore, Lou. I just-I don’t know.”
“It-it’s not your fault, Ni,” Louis finally says, and he rummages in his brain for something else to say because Niall’s looking at him expectantly, like he’s supposed to know all the answers in the Universe when it’s the exact opposite. Louis doesn’t know anything and most of all, he wishes he can just wave a magic wand and everything would be fine and everyone would be happy. But that’s not the case, never is, and Niall’s eyes pull him back and he clears his throat and says, “You don’t-there’s no need to say anything. He played you and you don’t owe him anything. Now, instead of crying about it, why don’t we go back to the café and work on your stage and let’s just get through this day in one piece because you’ve worked really hard on it and I’d hate to see it all turn to shit and you know you’re going to be blaming me for everything in the morning and I’d really just rather sleep than listen to you yell my ears off.”
Niall laughs and it’s like a cross between chuckling and sobbing and Louis can’t help but laugh, too, because he might not be as articulate and warm and caring as Niall, but he sure as hell can make the boy laugh, and it’s probably the reason why Niall stayed with him all this time, why Niall loves him so much.
“Come on,” Louis says, standing up and pulling Niall to his feet. “You’ve got to help me set up because I’ve already wasted too much time and I have no fucking idea how to set up that stage of yours.”
Niall laughs once more and pulls Louis into a hug, and Louis wraps his arms around his back and holds him tight when he hears Niall whisper, “thank you”, and he smiles and whispers back, “anytime, Ni.”
::
“So, he just walked out?” Harry asks after Liam finishes explaining what happened to Niall, trying to make sense of Niall’s reaction considering he hasn’t seen Liam in over a year.
“Yeah, though I’m not entirely sure why,” Liam says. “I wasn’t expecting a big, warm welcome but I thought he would at least, you know, talk to me.”
“And now he’s crying outside. He’s really fucking upset, Liam.”
“I know, I know,” Liam says, flustered, and he picks at the rim of his mug and fixes his eyes on the last of his coffee, “but I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know why it happened; it was all just so sudden. I just-I don’t know, should I go outside and try to sort it out? I feel really shitty about all this and-”
“Alright, let’s get Niall calmed down first and we can all try to figure it out, okay?” Harry interrupts, feeling that nothing he can say will help with the situation, and he looks around and sees people start to trickle in. “Why don’t you ask them if you could help setting up? Niall told me Louis was freaking out and I’m sure he’s going to need all the help he can get.”
“Okay, sure,” Liam says, lifting his head and looking at Harry with a nod. “I’ll do that.”
At that moment, the bell brings Harry’s eyes to the doors just in time to see Louis pushing through them with Niall following behind him, and from the distance, he can see Niall’s eyes ringed with red, face a hint of pink, and Louis drops his hood and shrugs off his jacket as he makes his way to the counter.
“You guys want anything else before I get started on the stage?” Louis asks as he puts his jacket down below him and his eyes land on Liam for a few seconds. He’s focused on Niall, whose back is turned to them facing the back table, and he can see his shoulders tense, eyes willing Niall to turn and look at him. Louis sighs and looks at Harry with a smile. “Anything for you, Harry?”
“A hot chocolate would be nice,” Harry replies, and he looks at Liam for a moment before turning back to Louis and saying, “And Liam wants to say something.”
Harry sees Louis’s body bristle and he senses that his first instinct is to walk in front of Niall, thinking that anything Liam might say at the moment might upset him more than he already is.
“I, er, I’d like to help you set up the stage if you need some help,” Liam says slowly, thinking about each word before they left his lips.
Louis lets out the tiniest breath of relief and nods his head with a smile. “Su-sure. Sure, I could use some help, actually. I expect we’ll be busy soon. Why don’t you go on ahead to the stage and I’ll be right there to tell you what’s going on, okay?”
Liam nods, finishes his coffee, and stands up, giving Niall a lingering stare, who’s doing his best to avoid meeting Liam’s eyes as he works on Harry’s chocolate, before turning to Harry with a small smile and making his way to the stage. Harry looks at Louis with questioning eyes and Louis just shakes his head, patting Niall’s shoulder and grabbing his notepad on the counter, and follows Liam without another word.
Niall eventually turns around with the chocolate and slides it into Harry’s fingers, and Harry watches him try to get his breathing steady as he grips the edge of the back table.
“You want to share, Niall?” Harry asks with a smile, holding up the cup and shaking it slightly. “You look like you could use a drink.”
Niall chuckles and shakes his head, but when Harry persists and holds it out to him with raised eyebrows, Niall sighs with a smile, snatches the cup, and takes a sip.
::
Louis feels uncomfortable about the whole situation and he’s just glad he got Liam away from Niall to give him some room to breathe.
Louis flips open the notepad, clicks his pen, and taps the point on the paper, trying to push everything that had just happened out of his mind and focus on finishing the damn stage.
“What do you think, Liam?” Louis says, lifting his eyes and landing them on Liam, who’s visibly troubled. “Do you think there should be banners around here somewhere?”
Liam stretches his lips into what can be considered as a smile but Louis can sense the confusion and discomfort flying off him like solar flares, and it’s always been easy to tell what Liam’s thinking. He wears his heart on his sleeve and his eyes can tell you something more than his words can ever convey. Louis wonders why he never bothered calling Niall when he was at uni, and is very close to asking him straight on but his eyes find Niall behind him and he shakes his head, wants to push everything away for the night and just focus on the performances and they can all worry about this tomorrow.
“Is anyone ever going to tell me what happened?” Liam asks, voice soft and demure, and Louis feels guilty at once, and he shifts his eyes back to the notepad and sighs.
“I think it’s best if Niall told you himself,” Louis says, resigned, drawing the outline of a banner on the back of the stage. “Just-let him cool down, yeah? The more you give him space, the sooner you can talk about this.”
He meets Liam’s face and he can see a thousand questions swimming in those deep, brown eyes, and Louis can almost hear them in his head but Liam nods with a soft “okay” and drops his eyes to look at the sketch on the notepad, and he slides the pen from Louis’s fingers and draws a few lines on the paper.
“I think it’ll be better if you add the banners here,” Liam says, tapping his drawing and pointing to the curtains to make Louis see, and Louis nods and for a moment, he sees Niall laughing with Harry as he reaches over to touch Harry’s curls, and Louis feels a smile breaking out when he thinks that the storm’s finally over, and that the night will be smooth sailing from now on.
::
Twenty minutes to go before showtime and Harry’s an unsettled bundle of nerves, practically shaking out of his skin as he watches Louis and Liam work on the stage. It took them a few minutes to figure out what to do, but once they had an idea of how they want to take it, they set off to work at once, and now that they’re down to the last final details, Harry can feel his heart starting to pick up speed, and he turns back to Niall and gives out a long, deep breath.
“Nervous?” Niall asks, wiping down the counter, and Harry looks at him and nods, a jittery feeling coursing through his veins and he feels himself shiver.
“I haven’t performed in front of people in a while,” Harry admits, holding his cup tight and taking a sip. Niall smiles and shakes his head.
“It’ll be fine, trust me. Once, I had to console this girl who started crying her eyes out right before she’s about to go on stage, and after she got through the first wave of nerves, she got her groove and she turned out to be brilliant. And I’m pretty sure you will, too.”
“Thanks mate,” Harry says with a smile. “But you haven’t even heard me sing yet.”
Niall shrugs with a grin and refills his cup. “If it’s anything like your speaking voice, I can already tell it’s going to be great.”
Harry laughs and sees more people coming in and he almost feels claustrophobic, how his chest seems to be getting tighter and tighter and he turns back to Niall’s comforting eyes and grips the cup to the point of tearing, and he can just see the ripples appearing in his chocolate in sync with his heartbeat and he closes his eyes and tries his best to think of the lyrics to his song.
“Harry.”
His eyes snap open at the sound and he finds Niall waving a piece of paper in front of his face.
“I thought you were falling asleep,” Niall says, motioning for him to stand up. “Come on, let’s get you in line.”
Harry nods, jumps from his chair, and snatches his guitar from the seat beside him. Niall slips out from behind the counter and stops next to Harry, and he places a hand on his shoulder and asks, “You ready, mate?”
Harry laughs and nods, and Niall gives him a light squeeze before herding him to the back. There are five chairs lined up next to the stage, four of which are already occupied by the other performers. Harry takes a deep breath and takes the empty seat between three and five, and when Niall waves at him and turns to go up the steps to the stage, he turns to five, a woman of about twenty with a guitar pick stuck between her red lips, with a smile and asks, “Alright?”
“Alright,” the woman replies with a nervous chuckle after taking the pick out, gripping her guitar tight and flashing a smile. “It’s my first time performing like this.”
Harry grins and sighs in relief, glad he’s not the only rookie in the café, and he fixes his eyes ahead and sees more people coming in through the doors, some standing around the back and against the walls after all the seats have been occupied. It doesn’t take him long to find Louis sitting in one of the front tables, a few feet on the other side, and they lock eyes for a moment, Harry seeing his lips form “good luck” followed by a wide grin and he nods in return, and he tears his eyes away from him when he hears Niall’s voice resounding around the café.
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the One Way performance night. Here, you’ll find nervous rookies with brilliant talents so I hope you’ll be supportive when they take the stage. Without further ado, I bring you our first performer. Wonderful performer and quite easy on the eyes, here now with us is the daughter of the owners of Bistro Eleanor just down the street. Let’s give a big round of applause to Miss Eleanor Calder!”
← chapter seven ♕ chapter eight ♕ chapter nine →
Pairings: Harry/Louis
Part: Chapter 8 of ?
Genre: AU, Romance
Rating: R
Summary: Harry and Louis live parallel lives where nothing much happens, but when the lines begin to intersect, they find themselves in situations bigger than either of them have ever bargained for.
♔ PROLOGUE || CHAPTER ONE || CHAPTER TWO || CHAPTER THREE || CHAPTER FOUR || CHAPTER FIVE || CHAPTER SIX || CHAPTER SEVEN
Chapter eight
Louis wishes he can say something and then crawl back in his little hole and pretend nothing had ever happened.
He wracks his brain for excuses-“sorry, I have to finish working on the stage” or “I’m really glad to see you but I just have got to go, I’m sorry”-but the way Liam’s eyebrows are drawn in complete and utter confusion and shock and his brown eyes are firing off questions in such quick succession that Louis can feel holes boring themselves in his chest traps the words in his throat and he can only manage a sigh, discomfort falling thick and heavy over him that he can barely look in Liam’s eyes.
“I-What-Liam-” Louis tries to push through his lips when Liam begins to turn his body toward the exit, his knees starting to shake because he’s never been good at this stuff, never been good in uncomfortable situations where there’s a need for explanations because it’s usually Zayn or Niall who handle everything when he finds his tongue tied to the roof of his mouth. At times like these, it always seemed like the entire English vocabulary is wiped off from his brain, and all he can do is stand there like a bloody idiot and hope the look in his eyes can offer what his mind is trying desperately to convey.
But Liam completely misses the point and he only narrows his eyes, more confused than ever, and Louis gives an awkward laugh, the sound like a balloon deflating and there’s an involuntary gulp lodged in there somewhere, and he wipes his hands on his trousers when they start dampening with sweat.
“What?” he asks, dipping his head closer and Louis stands erect as a statue, arms locked on either side because he’s just so shocked about Niall’s reaction, and he’s this close to saying a quick “bye!” and running outside, grab Niall by the arm wherever he is, and tell them to kiss and make up because he absolutely hates being in this position. In the back of his mind, he makes a note to kill Niall when they get home.
“I-er-I’m sorry about what just happened,” Louis says slowly, his mind finally succeeding to cooperate, and he can see the surprise on Liam’s face disappearing, which he takes for a good sign. “I’m not exactly sure why that happened but I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason.”
“I don’t understand, Lou, did I do something wrong?” Liam says, voice sounding like a kicked puppy, and Louis can feel the discomfort crushing his ribcage and he wishes he had Niall standing next to him to fill them both in because he’s just as confused as Liam. Where the hell is he? “Should I not have come in?”
“No, no, I’m sure it’s nothing like that,” Louis tries to convince him, though he’s not quite sure himself, “Niall’s just been… stressed lately and I think he’s just now taking the brunt of it full force. I’m sure he’ll come back and this’ll all be resolved.”
But Liam’s expression doesn’t change and even though they’re not the closest people in the world, Louis feels an irresistible urge to wrap his arms around him and tell him everything’s going to be alright because Liam has that effect on people, can make someone want to console him when he’s feeling down because the look on his face is not something anybody wants to see, not something anyone should see.
“But should I go over there and-” Liam begins, his tone getting desperate, but Louis shakes his head and leads him back to the bar, offering him a seat and slipping behind the counter.
“Just give him some time to cool off, I’m sure he’ll be back in a few minutes,” Louis assures him, sliding the notebook over and placing a mug in front of his hands. As he pours fresh coffee from the pot, he takes a peek at the wall clock and realizes with a start that it’s less than two hours until showtime and he’s barely got the stage set up.
“Erm, I’ve got-”
“So, how’ve you been?” Liam cuts him off, closing his hands over the cup’s mouth and trapping the steam inside. Louis laughs awkwardly for the hundredth time and drops his shoulders, not wanting to be rude especially after not having seen each other for over a year. He sighs softly and drops down on the countertop on his elbows, figuring that taking Liam’s mind off the whole event means less questions and less feeling uncomfortable about the whole situation, which, now that he thinks about it, would be better for the both of them.
“I’ve been good,” Louis says with a smile, flicking his eyes from Liam’s face to the clock. The minute hand moves over one and he goes back to Liam’s eyes. He’ll indulge him for half an hour at the most but that’ll be it. He’ll need to work on the stage as soon possible. “How about you?”
::
When Harry makes his final sale for the day, he offers his hand to the man standing in front of him with a smile and wishes him a good evening.
Being cashier is more fun than he had initially thought. What he reckoned would be a very monotonous, almost sort of boring position turned out to be one of the more fun things he’d done in a long time. He loved seeing the faces of the patrons when their eyes landed on the pastries and loved when they tried to strike up a conversation with him, which he didn’t mind, really. He loves to talk to people.
Caroline stayed by his side the entire time, a pen in her hand ready to cross out any mistakes he made in the receipts and offering answers when the customers would ask about a certain pastry or of they did orders and deliveries and whatnot, and, to his surprise considering how clingy she seemed to be earlier, she only talked to him if he had questions regarding the register or if business was slow and the silence was dragging on too long, then they would talk about their lives and what they liked to do and other random things that would pop in their heads. It was talking to her like this that made him realize that Caroline isn’t all that bad.
She has a twin sister, Jody, who’s always overshadowed her. Jody had better grades, better sense of style, a larger circle of friends, and more boyfriends than Caroline could count. Caroline, on the other hand, had been a bit geeky in high school, had a tight, close-knit circle of friends, had only a handful of boyfriends, though none serious, and had average grades. Jody went on to a university in Scotland to pursue her doctorate in psychology. Caroline went on to study dance in the local community college while working in a modestly-sized bakery. She’s still a bit bitter about her sister, but she can’t really blame her for anything. People just blossom differently, and it just turned out that Jody had spent a little more time in the sunshine than Caroline sitting halfway hidden in the shadows.
“That’s why I’m always excited to meet new people,” Caroline had said. “I know I can be a bit abrasive and a tad loony, but it’s really just me appreciating the fact that someone actually wants to talk to me.”
Harry immediately felt bad for thinking bad things about her before getting to know each other, and he takes it upon himself to take her to lunch at Bistro Eleanor tomorrow.
“I just want to thank you for helping me get this job and training me and everything,” he says, and Caroline, making her way to the back table, stops in her tracks and fixes her eyes on him.
“Really?” she asks, tucking her hair behind her ear and watching Harry with large, doe-like eyes. Harry nods with a smile as he opens the register and takes the stack of receipts, face starting to flush. Caroline’s face switches from inquiry to delight in a fraction of a second, and she lets out the tiniest giggle before giving him an enthusiastic nod. “I’d-I’d love it. Thanks.”
“No problem,” Harry says, giving her the receipts and brushing his hair with his fingers. “I’ve, er, I’ve actually got to go and prepare for the performance. Would you mind if I left right now?”
Caroline shakes her head and folds the stack, the smile never leaving her lips. “Of course not. You go on ahead and I’ll just see you after my shift.”
“I’ll see you then.”
With a grin, Harry takes his jumper from the cabinet below him and, slipping it on, he waves at Caroline and yells goodbye to Jenny before pushing through the doors and out into the cold, darkening street.
He tightens his jumper around him and tries his best to get his hair from being blown back by occasional gusts of wind by dipping his head low and looking at the path ahead through his unruly curls.
He can’t help but think about Louis’s behavior during lunch. He knows he shouldn’t dwell on it much-he barely knows him. And the few things he does know aren’t necessarily the best situations for a person to be in. Living with abuse alone is enough to occupy his mind, to not want to talk about trivial things, especially from a stranger, and really, Harry should have been more thoughtful, should have considered that Louis might not completely have healed from the whole ordeal, even though his bruise seems to fade by the hour and his smile makes it seem like it never happened in the first place.
He sighs and kicks a crushed soda can into the street, and it’s then that he sees someone sitting on the edge curb, arms wrapped around his legs, hugging them close to his chest, hood fluttering softly in the breeze hiding a golden fringe that he flips out of his eyes when a sudden wind blows it into chaos.
Niall.
Harry doesn’t hesitate and walks faster until he’s behind him, and he plops down next to him, dips his head low so he can see his eyes, and asks softly, “You alright, mate?”
Niall gives a slight nod and brings a hand to wipe his nose, and he gives a sniff before clearing his throat and saying, “Hey, Harry.”
His voice wet and Harry’s heart drops, and he reaches his arm around Niall’s shoulders and pulls him close. “What’s wrong, Niall? Did something happen?”
“I’m fine, really,” Niall replies, but the cracks in his voice betray him and Harry lifts his hand and starts to rub the back of his head, not really knowing what to say. Apparently sensing this, Niall ducks out from Harry’s touch and turns to face him, and he wipes his eyes with his sleeve and flashes him a convincing grin. “I’m alright. Lou’s freaking out in the café getting the stage set up. You should go see him.”
“Are you going to be alright out here?” Harry asks, watching Niall’s glassy eyes catch the light from the streetlamps turning on all around them, and Niall nods with a laugh and wipes his eyes again.
“I’m sure. Go on.”
Harry gives his shoulder a light squeeze before standing up and making his way to the café, turning to look over his shoulder to see Niall pulling his hood lower down his head, his back shaking slightly from trying to suppress his sobs.
::
When Louis hears the bell and sees Harry’s shivering form emerging from the other side of the doors, he can’t help but feel a lightness in his chest, and he flicks his eyes back to Liam, managing to catch the last bit of his sentence.
“…when I decided to put in an ad for a new roommate.”
Louis nods inattentively, mind already occupied by Harry’s smile as he makes his way to them, and after seeing that Louis has shifted his attention to something else behind him, Liam turns just in time to see Harry give them a wave.
“Hey, Harry,” Louis says after Harry stops next to Liam. “I didn’t know you were roommates with Liam here.”
“Yeah, I didn’t know you guys knew each other,” Harry replies, and, shifting his eyes to Liam, he says, “What are you doing here so early? The performances don’t start for another hour and a half.”
“Oh, just came to bring your things,” Liam says, patting the notebook next to his coffee mug, and Harry sees his guitar leaning on the seat next to him. “I thought you’d forgotten them.”
“I was going back to the flat to get them but this is a much better idea, thanks,” Harry says, sliding the notebook across the counter and flipping it open. Suddenly, he remembers Niall sitting just a few ways outside, and he lifts his head and tells Louis, “Oh, I almost forgot. Niall’s sitting all by himself outside on the curb. He’s really upset. Do you know what happened?”
Louis’s eyes flash open and he flicks them to the wall clock once again. An hour and twenty-two minutes until the show starts. He curses himself inwardly for wasting too much time and he takes off the apron and hangs it haphazardly on the wall behind him. Liam starts to get up but Louis shakes his head and grabs his jacket from the back table, and he says, “No, I’ll get him. You just prepare for your performance and we’ll be right in.”
But Liam’s persistent and he calls out to Louis, who’s already halfway across the café, and asks, “Lou, is there anything I can do?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon,” Louis dismisses, and he zips up his jacket, flips on his hood, and pushes through the doors and into the frigid air outside.
It doesn’t take him long to spot Niall sitting a few ways from him, right next to a streetlamp, his head ducked between his knees and his arms around his legs. Before he knows it, he’s breaking into a run, and in a few seconds, he’s right beside Niall, and he sits himself properly a few inches apart because he doesn’t want to scare him.
“Ni?” Louis asks, and Niall lifts his head almost at once, looking around to find the source of the sound, and when his eyes find Louis, he wipes them with the back of his hand and smiles.
“What are you doing out here?” Niall asks wetly, his voice deep and cracking at parts. “Shouldn’t you be setting up? You’ve only got, like, an hour to finish, don’t you?”
“That can all wait,” Louis says, heart feeling heavy when he sees Niall take a few short breaths and jam the base of his palms against his eyes, twisting them to stop the tears from flowing. Louis inches closer until their knees touch and wraps an arm around his shoulder. “Are you going to tell me what that was all about?”
Niall doesn’t answer at first, only breathing heavily and picking at his nails, and Louis waits patiently, rubbing circles on his back and moving closer because he can feel Niall shivering against him.
After what seems like forever, Niall finally clears his throat and leans his head on Louis’s shoulder, and Louis pulls him closer because his voice is soft and fragile when he says, “Why now, Lou? Why did he decide to come back now?”
“I-I don’t know,” Louis says, mind shutting down and he feels helpless when he doesn’t know what to say. Niall’s always been good at this stuff, comes to him naturally-making people feel better-and it’s an ability Louis always lacked and envied. He wishes Niall can tell him what to do, what to say and how to say it, and he tries to recollect all the times Niall offered him consolation and the thousand times he’s comforted him when he came crying at his door at night when Zayn came home drunk. But nothing comes up and he’s left with the unsettling sound of Niall’s shaky breaths and cars rushing past them, and he resigns and lets out a deep sigh, wishing that he can be the better friend Niall deserves.
“It’s been a year, Lou, a year,” Niall continues, tone getting stronger, and Louis listens to every word, trying to come up with something, anything to say. “A year passed by and he’s never called or visited once, and now, he comes barging in like everything’s fine, like nothing ever happened. Why-why would he do that, Lou? How can he think that it’s fine to just walk up to me one day and say ‘hi’ like we haven’t seen each other since yesterday?”
Louis’s breath hitches in his throat as he tries to make sense of everything, and it’s not until that moment that he realizes that he had been right, that something had gone on between him and Liam. He recalls a few moments where Niall seemed like the happiest boy on earth when he would spend time with Liam and he doesn’t know why he’s never noticed it, why he’d always been too preoccupied with his own relationship to see Niall’s, his best friend’s, budding right in front of his eyes, and he feels lousy, really lousy, and he can’t bring himself to look at Niall.
“Ni, I’m-I’m sorry I never noticed before,” is all he can manage to say, his voice hoarse and dry, and Niall looks up at him with his glassy blue eyes for a fraction of a second before dropping them back down to the street, and Louis feels him shift closer.
“We weren’t going out or anything,” Niall elaborates with a sniff, voice gaining momentum, and Louis can feel the hairs on the back of his head stand on end when Niall lifts his head and looks at Louis straight in the eye. “At least, not just yet. You know I have a hard time opening up to someone. I mean, it took us a few years to get this close. But with him, it was like-there was something about him that told me he wanted to know more, and I don’t know why but it was easy for me to let him in. I thought he loved me, I really did. I thought one day he’d sweep me off my feet and ride me up on the back of his horse to his castle like a fucking Disney film and we’ll live happily fucking ever after. And when I thought we were getting closer and I was working up the courage to make it official because I wanted us to be more than friends and I knew he wanted the same thing, too, he decides to go to fucking uni and I’m left waiting for his fucking phone calls every night that never came. Do you know how frustrating that is, Lou?”
Louis can only shake his head, Niall’s anger radiating from his eyes almost visible, and he’s more dumbstruck than ever.
“I tried calling him a million times but the line’s always fucking disconnected and I had no idea how to contact him. I thought he was angry at me. I thought that maybe I’d done something wrong, and I felt that way every fucking time I went to bed. But then that happened and I don’t know what to think anymore, Lou. I just-I don’t know.”
“It-it’s not your fault, Ni,” Louis finally says, and he rummages in his brain for something else to say because Niall’s looking at him expectantly, like he’s supposed to know all the answers in the Universe when it’s the exact opposite. Louis doesn’t know anything and most of all, he wishes he can just wave a magic wand and everything would be fine and everyone would be happy. But that’s not the case, never is, and Niall’s eyes pull him back and he clears his throat and says, “You don’t-there’s no need to say anything. He played you and you don’t owe him anything. Now, instead of crying about it, why don’t we go back to the café and work on your stage and let’s just get through this day in one piece because you’ve worked really hard on it and I’d hate to see it all turn to shit and you know you’re going to be blaming me for everything in the morning and I’d really just rather sleep than listen to you yell my ears off.”
Niall laughs and it’s like a cross between chuckling and sobbing and Louis can’t help but laugh, too, because he might not be as articulate and warm and caring as Niall, but he sure as hell can make the boy laugh, and it’s probably the reason why Niall stayed with him all this time, why Niall loves him so much.
“Come on,” Louis says, standing up and pulling Niall to his feet. “You’ve got to help me set up because I’ve already wasted too much time and I have no fucking idea how to set up that stage of yours.”
Niall laughs once more and pulls Louis into a hug, and Louis wraps his arms around his back and holds him tight when he hears Niall whisper, “thank you”, and he smiles and whispers back, “anytime, Ni.”
::
“So, he just walked out?” Harry asks after Liam finishes explaining what happened to Niall, trying to make sense of Niall’s reaction considering he hasn’t seen Liam in over a year.
“Yeah, though I’m not entirely sure why,” Liam says. “I wasn’t expecting a big, warm welcome but I thought he would at least, you know, talk to me.”
“And now he’s crying outside. He’s really fucking upset, Liam.”
“I know, I know,” Liam says, flustered, and he picks at the rim of his mug and fixes his eyes on the last of his coffee, “but I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know why it happened; it was all just so sudden. I just-I don’t know, should I go outside and try to sort it out? I feel really shitty about all this and-”
“Alright, let’s get Niall calmed down first and we can all try to figure it out, okay?” Harry interrupts, feeling that nothing he can say will help with the situation, and he looks around and sees people start to trickle in. “Why don’t you ask them if you could help setting up? Niall told me Louis was freaking out and I’m sure he’s going to need all the help he can get.”
“Okay, sure,” Liam says, lifting his head and looking at Harry with a nod. “I’ll do that.”
At that moment, the bell brings Harry’s eyes to the doors just in time to see Louis pushing through them with Niall following behind him, and from the distance, he can see Niall’s eyes ringed with red, face a hint of pink, and Louis drops his hood and shrugs off his jacket as he makes his way to the counter.
“You guys want anything else before I get started on the stage?” Louis asks as he puts his jacket down below him and his eyes land on Liam for a few seconds. He’s focused on Niall, whose back is turned to them facing the back table, and he can see his shoulders tense, eyes willing Niall to turn and look at him. Louis sighs and looks at Harry with a smile. “Anything for you, Harry?”
“A hot chocolate would be nice,” Harry replies, and he looks at Liam for a moment before turning back to Louis and saying, “And Liam wants to say something.”
Harry sees Louis’s body bristle and he senses that his first instinct is to walk in front of Niall, thinking that anything Liam might say at the moment might upset him more than he already is.
“I, er, I’d like to help you set up the stage if you need some help,” Liam says slowly, thinking about each word before they left his lips.
Louis lets out the tiniest breath of relief and nods his head with a smile. “Su-sure. Sure, I could use some help, actually. I expect we’ll be busy soon. Why don’t you go on ahead to the stage and I’ll be right there to tell you what’s going on, okay?”
Liam nods, finishes his coffee, and stands up, giving Niall a lingering stare, who’s doing his best to avoid meeting Liam’s eyes as he works on Harry’s chocolate, before turning to Harry with a small smile and making his way to the stage. Harry looks at Louis with questioning eyes and Louis just shakes his head, patting Niall’s shoulder and grabbing his notepad on the counter, and follows Liam without another word.
Niall eventually turns around with the chocolate and slides it into Harry’s fingers, and Harry watches him try to get his breathing steady as he grips the edge of the back table.
“You want to share, Niall?” Harry asks with a smile, holding up the cup and shaking it slightly. “You look like you could use a drink.”
Niall chuckles and shakes his head, but when Harry persists and holds it out to him with raised eyebrows, Niall sighs with a smile, snatches the cup, and takes a sip.
::
Louis feels uncomfortable about the whole situation and he’s just glad he got Liam away from Niall to give him some room to breathe.
Louis flips open the notepad, clicks his pen, and taps the point on the paper, trying to push everything that had just happened out of his mind and focus on finishing the damn stage.
“What do you think, Liam?” Louis says, lifting his eyes and landing them on Liam, who’s visibly troubled. “Do you think there should be banners around here somewhere?”
Liam stretches his lips into what can be considered as a smile but Louis can sense the confusion and discomfort flying off him like solar flares, and it’s always been easy to tell what Liam’s thinking. He wears his heart on his sleeve and his eyes can tell you something more than his words can ever convey. Louis wonders why he never bothered calling Niall when he was at uni, and is very close to asking him straight on but his eyes find Niall behind him and he shakes his head, wants to push everything away for the night and just focus on the performances and they can all worry about this tomorrow.
“Is anyone ever going to tell me what happened?” Liam asks, voice soft and demure, and Louis feels guilty at once, and he shifts his eyes back to the notepad and sighs.
“I think it’s best if Niall told you himself,” Louis says, resigned, drawing the outline of a banner on the back of the stage. “Just-let him cool down, yeah? The more you give him space, the sooner you can talk about this.”
He meets Liam’s face and he can see a thousand questions swimming in those deep, brown eyes, and Louis can almost hear them in his head but Liam nods with a soft “okay” and drops his eyes to look at the sketch on the notepad, and he slides the pen from Louis’s fingers and draws a few lines on the paper.
“I think it’ll be better if you add the banners here,” Liam says, tapping his drawing and pointing to the curtains to make Louis see, and Louis nods and for a moment, he sees Niall laughing with Harry as he reaches over to touch Harry’s curls, and Louis feels a smile breaking out when he thinks that the storm’s finally over, and that the night will be smooth sailing from now on.
::
Twenty minutes to go before showtime and Harry’s an unsettled bundle of nerves, practically shaking out of his skin as he watches Louis and Liam work on the stage. It took them a few minutes to figure out what to do, but once they had an idea of how they want to take it, they set off to work at once, and now that they’re down to the last final details, Harry can feel his heart starting to pick up speed, and he turns back to Niall and gives out a long, deep breath.
“Nervous?” Niall asks, wiping down the counter, and Harry looks at him and nods, a jittery feeling coursing through his veins and he feels himself shiver.
“I haven’t performed in front of people in a while,” Harry admits, holding his cup tight and taking a sip. Niall smiles and shakes his head.
“It’ll be fine, trust me. Once, I had to console this girl who started crying her eyes out right before she’s about to go on stage, and after she got through the first wave of nerves, she got her groove and she turned out to be brilliant. And I’m pretty sure you will, too.”
“Thanks mate,” Harry says with a smile. “But you haven’t even heard me sing yet.”
Niall shrugs with a grin and refills his cup. “If it’s anything like your speaking voice, I can already tell it’s going to be great.”
Harry laughs and sees more people coming in and he almost feels claustrophobic, how his chest seems to be getting tighter and tighter and he turns back to Niall’s comforting eyes and grips the cup to the point of tearing, and he can just see the ripples appearing in his chocolate in sync with his heartbeat and he closes his eyes and tries his best to think of the lyrics to his song.
“Harry.”
His eyes snap open at the sound and he finds Niall waving a piece of paper in front of his face.
“I thought you were falling asleep,” Niall says, motioning for him to stand up. “Come on, let’s get you in line.”
Harry nods, jumps from his chair, and snatches his guitar from the seat beside him. Niall slips out from behind the counter and stops next to Harry, and he places a hand on his shoulder and asks, “You ready, mate?”
Harry laughs and nods, and Niall gives him a light squeeze before herding him to the back. There are five chairs lined up next to the stage, four of which are already occupied by the other performers. Harry takes a deep breath and takes the empty seat between three and five, and when Niall waves at him and turns to go up the steps to the stage, he turns to five, a woman of about twenty with a guitar pick stuck between her red lips, with a smile and asks, “Alright?”
“Alright,” the woman replies with a nervous chuckle after taking the pick out, gripping her guitar tight and flashing a smile. “It’s my first time performing like this.”
Harry grins and sighs in relief, glad he’s not the only rookie in the café, and he fixes his eyes ahead and sees more people coming in through the doors, some standing around the back and against the walls after all the seats have been occupied. It doesn’t take him long to find Louis sitting in one of the front tables, a few feet on the other side, and they lock eyes for a moment, Harry seeing his lips form “good luck” followed by a wide grin and he nods in return, and he tears his eyes away from him when he hears Niall’s voice resounding around the café.
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the One Way performance night. Here, you’ll find nervous rookies with brilliant talents so I hope you’ll be supportive when they take the stage. Without further ado, I bring you our first performer. Wonderful performer and quite easy on the eyes, here now with us is the daughter of the owners of Bistro Eleanor just down the street. Let’s give a big round of applause to Miss Eleanor Calder!”
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