a rare hello
holy shit. 34 weeks....thats like a year almost. i'm still not dead.
i hitched out to dallas to visit my family and i'm sitting in rockwall wishing that i could see a few of you so i got on to see who else wasn't dead. let's see this is friday i'm here till... next week sometime....how do i get ahold of hush and jes? ya'll still around? i'd ask about the others but i can always count on those two to know where everyone else is. its good to be back in texas.
i can't stay long though, i learned the other night that the V.A. found a lump on my dad's throat and another on his tongue. they diagnosed cancer in his lymph nodes and for the first time i heard him cry. this coming after a hernia operation that has had him out of work for the last 2 months following 8 months of job hunting.... i can see why he feels useless. my mom got fired too so whan i asked him he said they only have enough in savings to pay this months bills before they have to consideer selling the house....8 years of hard work to make my mother comfortable and happy are about to vanish before his eyes and there's nothing they can do to stop it.
this is the only man who has ever done my family any good. the only man who has been capable of loving my mother regardless of how she treats him. the only man i honestly adore, and he's reduced to near nothingness over night. I won't sit idly by and let this happen. i can't stop cancer, only god has that power and i ask that any of you who believe in christ to pray long and hard for him, but i can help with bills so i have to abandon california to go back to spokane. i hate that place, hate that i have to worry about my addiction to meth for the first time in 2 years, hate that i have to live with my sister who has become a fumbling bumbleing whore in recent years...maybe that was a little harsh. i can't let everything they've been working toward fall apart, god willing i will find a solution when i get there.
my daughter turned three this year, a beautiful girl with a laugh like windchimes. i got to see her for a few hours on my way here, it was the best time i've had all year. i think i've only seen her 5 times, i can't beleave she even knows me but she was sure happy to see me. i just wish i could get her mother to let me see her more when i come to town. i hiked 500 miles with the promise from her that i could have her for the weekend at her aunt's house and when i got there she completely changed her story. i waited 5 days to see her for 5 hours. but untill i can try to get custody rights her family figures that all i'm entitled to and i have to be thankful for what i get. she is so beautiful, so smart.
i'll be in texas for 5 more days. i hope i get to see you guys, i'm sorry for neglecting our friendship i do think of you often. email me with ideas on how to meet.
mgarver78@yahoo.com
i hitched out to dallas to visit my family and i'm sitting in rockwall wishing that i could see a few of you so i got on to see who else wasn't dead. let's see this is friday i'm here till... next week sometime....how do i get ahold of hush and jes? ya'll still around? i'd ask about the others but i can always count on those two to know where everyone else is. its good to be back in texas.
i can't stay long though, i learned the other night that the V.A. found a lump on my dad's throat and another on his tongue. they diagnosed cancer in his lymph nodes and for the first time i heard him cry. this coming after a hernia operation that has had him out of work for the last 2 months following 8 months of job hunting.... i can see why he feels useless. my mom got fired too so whan i asked him he said they only have enough in savings to pay this months bills before they have to consideer selling the house....8 years of hard work to make my mother comfortable and happy are about to vanish before his eyes and there's nothing they can do to stop it.
this is the only man who has ever done my family any good. the only man who has been capable of loving my mother regardless of how she treats him. the only man i honestly adore, and he's reduced to near nothingness over night. I won't sit idly by and let this happen. i can't stop cancer, only god has that power and i ask that any of you who believe in christ to pray long and hard for him, but i can help with bills so i have to abandon california to go back to spokane. i hate that place, hate that i have to worry about my addiction to meth for the first time in 2 years, hate that i have to live with my sister who has become a fumbling bumbleing whore in recent years...maybe that was a little harsh. i can't let everything they've been working toward fall apart, god willing i will find a solution when i get there.
my daughter turned three this year, a beautiful girl with a laugh like windchimes. i got to see her for a few hours on my way here, it was the best time i've had all year. i think i've only seen her 5 times, i can't beleave she even knows me but she was sure happy to see me. i just wish i could get her mother to let me see her more when i come to town. i hiked 500 miles with the promise from her that i could have her for the weekend at her aunt's house and when i got there she completely changed her story. i waited 5 days to see her for 5 hours. but untill i can try to get custody rights her family figures that all i'm entitled to and i have to be thankful for what i get. she is so beautiful, so smart.
i'll be in texas for 5 more days. i hope i get to see you guys, i'm sorry for neglecting our friendship i do think of you often. email me with ideas on how to meet.
mgarver78@yahoo.com