settling in?
I've been so out of touch for so long i have no clue what to say.I started a business in a small-middle-of-nowhere town. It's called Boonville it's so small. It's nice, it feels like home. I work anywhere from 5 to 9 hours a day and worry about all the ways I'm failing my daughter the rest of the time. I can keep up on a guitar finally, it seems everyone in this valley is gifted in one way or another. I think this is as close to content as I've ever been....I'm bored.
the bad thing is that I know I won't be any happier anywhere else. Great, now what HELL am I supposed to think about that realization. Happiness is just out of reach, beyond that next paycheck, right around the corner from that next vehicular malfunction and up 5 stories of "fuck you" and the elevators broken.
"stagger onward rejoicing" I don't know who wrote that, but I'd like to shake his hand one day. It keeps me from thinking I'm the only one. my preacher told me a better one though;
"The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that a pessimist is better informed"
So I broke off the tip of my right pinkie 3 weeks ago. nasty little incident where the leg of a trailer slammed closed on my hand while I was moving it. No worries though, my friend drove me to the clinic and they sewed it back on successfully. It kinda smashed the main knuckle as well so I expect limited motion for a while. damn thing put me out of work for almost 2 weeks which has thrown my texas vacation into shaky waters. hopefully everything works out.
I am too excited about thanksgiving! everyone in my family is planning on going to Texas to celebrate and I even convinced Arianne to bring Bella. i think this is the first full family holiday since my grandmother died, almost ten years. it should be an interesting scene to say the least, i hope it goes relatively smoothly. i'd like this to be a trip where Arianne and i can come to some sort of peace and work out a way that we can both raise Bella.
these are the things on my mind. I wish I had an off switch so i could just relax,a friend of mine suggested a woman is the best way to shut off a guys brain, hahahaha. like I need more hell to go through.
the bad thing is that I know I won't be any happier anywhere else. Great, now what HELL am I supposed to think about that realization. Happiness is just out of reach, beyond that next paycheck, right around the corner from that next vehicular malfunction and up 5 stories of "fuck you" and the elevators broken.
"stagger onward rejoicing" I don't know who wrote that, but I'd like to shake his hand one day. It keeps me from thinking I'm the only one. my preacher told me a better one though;
"The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that a pessimist is better informed"
So I broke off the tip of my right pinkie 3 weeks ago. nasty little incident where the leg of a trailer slammed closed on my hand while I was moving it. No worries though, my friend drove me to the clinic and they sewed it back on successfully. It kinda smashed the main knuckle as well so I expect limited motion for a while. damn thing put me out of work for almost 2 weeks which has thrown my texas vacation into shaky waters. hopefully everything works out.
I am too excited about thanksgiving! everyone in my family is planning on going to Texas to celebrate and I even convinced Arianne to bring Bella. i think this is the first full family holiday since my grandmother died, almost ten years. it should be an interesting scene to say the least, i hope it goes relatively smoothly. i'd like this to be a trip where Arianne and i can come to some sort of peace and work out a way that we can both raise Bella.
these are the things on my mind. I wish I had an off switch so i could just relax,a friend of mine suggested a woman is the best way to shut off a guys brain, hahahaha. like I need more hell to go through.