Okay, here's where the napalm meets the jungle.
First off......I am getting this out. I am leaving it posted open, to everyone to respond to. I won't reply to posts. But, I WILL read them.
I just gotta get this out. This is poisoning me from the inside, badly. It's for my own sanity I'm getting it out to the world. Respond as you see fit, but all I ask? Be brutally, painfully honest. I won't harp on you for that. Never will. If you're honest with me, fine, I will respect that.
Second part? Christina (this is the ex-wife here), if you wanna respond to this, first thing you're telling me is who leaked my info. If you won't say that much, at least, then don't bother speaking. And don't you DARE wave Sammie in my face to guilt me. All I'm gonna say on it. And if you even do try to, the first thing I'm doing when I see your post is erasing every trace of me online and making sure you DON'T find it. And don't try the "Well, if you love Sammie" card. I love Sammie enough to know when I should stay away. Nate's a good man, and he'll be a good father, if he isn't already. He'll be there for her. I can't be, by your own words. You know what those words are. And don't try to backtrack on them, cause I know you. You may cry that you know me better than I know myself......but don't think that door doesn't swing both ways.
The rest of the caveats? They'll come out during this. Trust me.
Okay. Here we go......
Back in December, I came home. After the shit I put up with towards the end of my tenure with the Air Force, it was welcome. It was thanked. Hell, getting the call from the First Shirt telling me all my paperwork came through was bloody well one of the best things I was ever told in my life.
Y'know the first three people I called? Pedro. My little brother, who's been with me through thick, thin, stupid, life, death, taxes......the second was Sean. Same as the first, only I knew him for a little shorter time. The third? Anne Marie.
She was asleep and I woke her up, but that's okay. When I talked to her later, Ed (her dad) filled her in on the fine details. But needless to say, she was just as happy as Dro and Phieffe were.
Now, before I go on with this next part, a little background here. Anne Marie had parted ways with one of her best friends prior to this, for reasons that I won't go into. Mainly because I only know half the story. I asked Anne Marie from the beginning of their parting what had happend, and she never gave me the story. I kept in touch with this friend (I'd met her, and she was cool people from the get-go), and had been talking to her for a while. I told Anne Marie this, and said, "Look, she's never done wrong by me, so I'm still talking to her. I'm telling you cause I don't want you upset that I'm talking to your ex-friend." Anne Marie basically said, "Okay, but be careful, she hurt me, I don't want her hurting you." .............if I'm remembering this wrong, Anne Marie, feel free to speak your piece.
I came home. Third person I saw, after Dad and Dro, was Anne Marie. She was so happy to have me home, calling me Bro, this, that, the other.
The first sour note was my first time back at Q's. Went with Anne Marie, we were having a good time, I went out for a clove and then got distracted dancing a couple of songs up on the main floor. When I found her, she was in a foul mood, and wanted to leave. So, we left. Next two days, she says nary a word, except for on FaceBook when she says she's utterly pissed.
Now, in between that time and when I got a word back from Anne Marie, I had seen Tina. She came, helped me finish moving the crap from my truck up to the apartment with Dro, we'd been talking, and we started officially dating.
Next thing I hear from Anne Marie, she says we're done being friends, don't come crying to her if Tina breaks my heart, and other things in those veins.
I was upset by this, naturally. Anne Marie was a true friend, who had my back when nearly EVERYONE I knew didn't. (And I'm not saying those that turned their backs were in the wrong in that instance.) Now, she up and said, "fuck off". Without even talking to me or asking, "Why?"
............I still hurt to this day about that. For various reasons which I'll get into, but the main reason? One of my best friends just threw me away, said don't come back. All because I was dating a girl who she had a falling out with.
And before you start with the, "well, friends before women" or something like that, let me say this. I asked Anne Marie SEVERAL times, what happened, tell me about it. BEFORE I started dating Tina. She never talked about it. Just said, "don't wanna talk about it", or along those lines.
I talked to Tina about it. She told me her side of it (and NO, I'm not airing someone else's dirty laundry in public). Still have yet to hear Anne Marie's side of it. A wise person once said to me, "There's 3 sides to every story. This person's side, that person's side, and the truth". I've heard one side. Where's your side, Anne Marie?
I've been told that Anne Marie's problem is that she feels that I'm taking the side of someone I'm seeing over her. I've analyzed it left and right, and......sorry. If that REALLY is the problem? We straighten it right now. Gimme your side, Anne Marie. Tell me how Tina wronged you so badly. Let me see the other side of the story, and make the call.
.............honestly, though, that isn't the worst part of it. This might be emo-whiny melodramatic boy coming out, but............::sigh:: I just feel left out. I'll grant, that part of it is that I've been holed up here and been absorbed by video games and whatnot. But, I also have made efforts to get out there, do things. I've already seen 4 Yankees games this year, wandered out to New Hope, gone to the beach for the first time in forever. Hell, even went out to Chicago for a comic convention. I've tried getting out there to see people (and yes, some more than others.....I'll own that. All I can do is try to do better at this point, and apologize to the ones I have seemingly ignored), but some people..........okay. It just......I came home, and no one seemed to notice except for Dad, Herk and Aunt Sil, Dro, Phieffe, Anne Marie, my baseball team, and Tina. Is it that I didn't reach out to people? (And yes, I know that in reality more people did notice. I did preface this by saying this is the melodramatic-whiny part of me speaking, didn't I?) That I didn't say, "Hey, I'm home, let's do something"?
......okay. I'm just stopping now. Cause, going over what I just wrote? I'm wondering myself if I'm just stupid. Gonna leave it there, though. I wrote it, I'll own it. Mainly I wrote it cause.......I hate feeling that by coming home, I lost contact with my friends. (Yes, not ALL of them......but.....damn it, you know what I mean.)
I'm done. If you want to talk, go ahead and say so, I'll respond to you. But it will be through private channels. Go ahead and say whatever you feel in comments, I will address them in private if you want a response.
I just gotta get this out. This is poisoning me from the inside, badly. It's for my own sanity I'm getting it out to the world. Respond as you see fit, but all I ask? Be brutally, painfully honest. I won't harp on you for that. Never will. If you're honest with me, fine, I will respect that.
Second part? Christina (this is the ex-wife here), if you wanna respond to this, first thing you're telling me is who leaked my info. If you won't say that much, at least, then don't bother speaking. And don't you DARE wave Sammie in my face to guilt me. All I'm gonna say on it. And if you even do try to, the first thing I'm doing when I see your post is erasing every trace of me online and making sure you DON'T find it. And don't try the "Well, if you love Sammie" card. I love Sammie enough to know when I should stay away. Nate's a good man, and he'll be a good father, if he isn't already. He'll be there for her. I can't be, by your own words. You know what those words are. And don't try to backtrack on them, cause I know you. You may cry that you know me better than I know myself......but don't think that door doesn't swing both ways.
The rest of the caveats? They'll come out during this. Trust me.
Okay. Here we go......
Back in December, I came home. After the shit I put up with towards the end of my tenure with the Air Force, it was welcome. It was thanked. Hell, getting the call from the First Shirt telling me all my paperwork came through was bloody well one of the best things I was ever told in my life.
Y'know the first three people I called? Pedro. My little brother, who's been with me through thick, thin, stupid, life, death, taxes......the second was Sean. Same as the first, only I knew him for a little shorter time. The third? Anne Marie.
She was asleep and I woke her up, but that's okay. When I talked to her later, Ed (her dad) filled her in on the fine details. But needless to say, she was just as happy as Dro and Phieffe were.
Now, before I go on with this next part, a little background here. Anne Marie had parted ways with one of her best friends prior to this, for reasons that I won't go into. Mainly because I only know half the story. I asked Anne Marie from the beginning of their parting what had happend, and she never gave me the story. I kept in touch with this friend (I'd met her, and she was cool people from the get-go), and had been talking to her for a while. I told Anne Marie this, and said, "Look, she's never done wrong by me, so I'm still talking to her. I'm telling you cause I don't want you upset that I'm talking to your ex-friend." Anne Marie basically said, "Okay, but be careful, she hurt me, I don't want her hurting you." .............if I'm remembering this wrong, Anne Marie, feel free to speak your piece.
I came home. Third person I saw, after Dad and Dro, was Anne Marie. She was so happy to have me home, calling me Bro, this, that, the other.
The first sour note was my first time back at Q's. Went with Anne Marie, we were having a good time, I went out for a clove and then got distracted dancing a couple of songs up on the main floor. When I found her, she was in a foul mood, and wanted to leave. So, we left. Next two days, she says nary a word, except for on FaceBook when she says she's utterly pissed.
Now, in between that time and when I got a word back from Anne Marie, I had seen Tina. She came, helped me finish moving the crap from my truck up to the apartment with Dro, we'd been talking, and we started officially dating.
Next thing I hear from Anne Marie, she says we're done being friends, don't come crying to her if Tina breaks my heart, and other things in those veins.
I was upset by this, naturally. Anne Marie was a true friend, who had my back when nearly EVERYONE I knew didn't. (And I'm not saying those that turned their backs were in the wrong in that instance.) Now, she up and said, "fuck off". Without even talking to me or asking, "Why?"
............I still hurt to this day about that. For various reasons which I'll get into, but the main reason? One of my best friends just threw me away, said don't come back. All because I was dating a girl who she had a falling out with.
And before you start with the, "well, friends before women" or something like that, let me say this. I asked Anne Marie SEVERAL times, what happened, tell me about it. BEFORE I started dating Tina. She never talked about it. Just said, "don't wanna talk about it", or along those lines.
I talked to Tina about it. She told me her side of it (and NO, I'm not airing someone else's dirty laundry in public). Still have yet to hear Anne Marie's side of it. A wise person once said to me, "There's 3 sides to every story. This person's side, that person's side, and the truth". I've heard one side. Where's your side, Anne Marie?
I've been told that Anne Marie's problem is that she feels that I'm taking the side of someone I'm seeing over her. I've analyzed it left and right, and......sorry. If that REALLY is the problem? We straighten it right now. Gimme your side, Anne Marie. Tell me how Tina wronged you so badly. Let me see the other side of the story, and make the call.
.............honestly, though, that isn't the worst part of it. This might be emo-whiny melodramatic boy coming out, but............::sigh:: I just feel left out. I'll grant, that part of it is that I've been holed up here and been absorbed by video games and whatnot. But, I also have made efforts to get out there, do things. I've already seen 4 Yankees games this year, wandered out to New Hope, gone to the beach for the first time in forever. Hell, even went out to Chicago for a comic convention. I've tried getting out there to see people (and yes, some more than others.....I'll own that. All I can do is try to do better at this point, and apologize to the ones I have seemingly ignored), but some people..........okay. It just......I came home, and no one seemed to notice except for Dad, Herk and Aunt Sil, Dro, Phieffe, Anne Marie, my baseball team, and Tina. Is it that I didn't reach out to people? (And yes, I know that in reality more people did notice. I did preface this by saying this is the melodramatic-whiny part of me speaking, didn't I?) That I didn't say, "Hey, I'm home, let's do something"?
......okay. I'm just stopping now. Cause, going over what I just wrote? I'm wondering myself if I'm just stupid. Gonna leave it there, though. I wrote it, I'll own it. Mainly I wrote it cause.......I hate feeling that by coming home, I lost contact with my friends. (Yes, not ALL of them......but.....damn it, you know what I mean.)
I'm done. If you want to talk, go ahead and say so, I'll respond to you. But it will be through private channels. Go ahead and say whatever you feel in comments, I will address them in private if you want a response.