(no subject)
"we are bruised and broken masterpieces but we did not paint ourselves." -switchfoot,economy of mercy
I don't really like myself anymore. I don't like who I've become. It feels like I used to be this sweet innocent smart nice-to-everyone type of girl. and now.... I don't know what's changed except that I'm acutely aware of every mean thing that comes out of my mouth, every time I make a mistake and say the wrong thing, or something comes out wrong. It feels like I've gotten meaner. Like I don't care about people the way I used to. I don't like it. I don't like feeling like this girl who everyone used to love, but now people just think I'm... idk mean, or selfish, or rude. I want to learn how to be that girl I was before. It came naturally then, but now I'm going to have to work for it. It also feels like this is a direct correlation to God. Whenever I stop reading my bible, stop praying, trying to do things on my own, I get like this. I turn into the girl who doesn't care as much about people, who is more wrapped up in herself, who gossips about people who she should be just caring for. I want to go back. Or at least relearn how to treat people the way they should be.
I don't really like myself anymore. I don't like who I've become. It feels like I used to be this sweet innocent smart nice-to-everyone type of girl. and now.... I don't know what's changed except that I'm acutely aware of every mean thing that comes out of my mouth, every time I make a mistake and say the wrong thing, or something comes out wrong. It feels like I've gotten meaner. Like I don't care about people the way I used to. I don't like it. I don't like feeling like this girl who everyone used to love, but now people just think I'm... idk mean, or selfish, or rude. I want to learn how to be that girl I was before. It came naturally then, but now I'm going to have to work for it. It also feels like this is a direct correlation to God. Whenever I stop reading my bible, stop praying, trying to do things on my own, I get like this. I turn into the girl who doesn't care as much about people, who is more wrapped up in herself, who gossips about people who she should be just caring for. I want to go back. Or at least relearn how to treat people the way they should be.