(no subject)
It's 12:14 a.m., sunday evening...or rather monday morning, to be accurate. I'm in my room writing. my mother is here, in the room we share, sleeping. Lately i've been concerning myself with the recent troubles. I lost my job a while ago, and I'm still looking for one. The Economy is a wreck, and its managed to directly affect us too. My brother-in-law lost his job, and then a week later my sister lost her job. That puts us in a very tight and stressful financial situation, as now my mom is the only person in the house with a job.
It's disconcerting for a number of immediate reasons, but also it really muddles things in the longrun. It becomes very difficult to see your own future in a situation like this. I can't even start really making any plans until I get past these current hurdles. I don't lose my optimism; I know we will survive this, things are bad for a lot of people right now, and whatever happens, I know we will somehow make it through. But uncertainty rules now, and when your in a situation like this, you feel very much at the whim of fate. You're not in control and you are basically just waiting it out to see what happens. But I really hope things become more stable sooner than later, because I hate not knowing. I really want to begin taking big steps forward and really take charge of the direction my life is going, rather than just feeling like a piece of debris floating on the ocean.
With me, it always feels like I'm taking one step forward, two steps back.
It's disconcerting for a number of immediate reasons, but also it really muddles things in the longrun. It becomes very difficult to see your own future in a situation like this. I can't even start really making any plans until I get past these current hurdles. I don't lose my optimism; I know we will survive this, things are bad for a lot of people right now, and whatever happens, I know we will somehow make it through. But uncertainty rules now, and when your in a situation like this, you feel very much at the whim of fate. You're not in control and you are basically just waiting it out to see what happens. But I really hope things become more stable sooner than later, because I hate not knowing. I really want to begin taking big steps forward and really take charge of the direction my life is going, rather than just feeling like a piece of debris floating on the ocean.
With me, it always feels like I'm taking one step forward, two steps back.