Take me & break me & make me strong like you.... it's only you beautiful or I don't want anyone.
I feel sick, not only physically but emotionally as well. Last night was hard, harder than anything I've ever had to go through, .. but I really need to sit back & understand that it was for the best. For the past week something really weird had been going on between Heather & I, .. it was more than usual, .. & it got worse everyday. She started ignoring me out of nowhere but only after she promised she would be over. Finally last night, .. I guess everything just finally came out that had needed to come out for awhile. I'm not going to go into detail how bad this week has been, .. or anything like that. I will say I'm confused, I'm hurt, .. & at the same time I'm wondering if this is what I need. After telling Heather that I couldn't take it anymore, .. her ignoring me & such she told me that she wanted to be with me .. but that she just .. didn't want to talk right now. I knew something else was up. So I kept calling her until she finally told me that she wasn't ready for what I was, .. that she was only 18 & had other things she wanted to do. She told me that she did love me, .. that she cared about me more than I knew, but that right now she just wanted to be single. As much as it hurts, .. as much as I don't ever want to let her go, .. I know now that I have to. She's not mine anymore & I need to just accept it & move on. I know that this is going to be harder than I can imagine, .. but I have to do it.
I wish with everything in me that this wasn't the way it had to happen, .. that I had to lose all of this, .. that I had to lose her, because I love her with all of me. I just, I now know that some times it takes more than love. I'm so confused though, .. because she told me all the time that I was what she wanted, .. that I was who she wanted, .. & it took nothing for that all to change.
After our finaly I love you's , .. we got off the phone both promising each other that if we ever needed each other we would call. The only thing is .. I need her all the time, .. so my phone call will probably never happen for the pure reason that I will blur the lines & never know when I really need her.
Anyways, August just keeps getting closer, .. & I'm getting more nervous. I'm starting work with my dad Tuesday so I can first months rent. At least working will occupy my time & maybe I won't think about everything as much. I feel like shit, ..
I'm going to end this here, .. hope everyone is well. & I really just want to thank Jess, Jo, & Rosa for last night. Jo, even though you constantly swear up & down you can't stand drama, .. you were there for me last night in a way that you had never experianced before. You handled it so well & I am so thankful. & Rosa, .. it never fails ever that you're a nurse for me. Your hug last night meant more than you know. & Jess, .. wow. I don't even know where to begin with thanking you, but I know you know so that's all that matters.
& Heather, I wish you nothing but the best, .. I love you, please never forget me.
Well i talk
Too much
To myself
And i turn my back on my faith
It's like glass
When we Break
I wish no one in my place
and i've seen
you don't need their seeds
when the cut goes in deep
and i'm lost in sleep
i can't stay
in this place
i can't stand
when the room turns round
on my fate
you give no guarantees
there's no promise
i can keep
i can't stand
i can't see my way
i feel blind
on my feet
i can't stay too long
am i wrong?
goodbye, lay the blame on luck
i'm so tired
of my mood
and sleep comes
with a knife, fork and a spoon
you're so pale
in your face
you let life
get in your way
and i've seen
you don't need their seeds
when the cut goes in deep
and i'm lost in sleep
am i wrong?
goodbye, lay the blame on luck
I wish with everything in me that this wasn't the way it had to happen, .. that I had to lose all of this, .. that I had to lose her, because I love her with all of me. I just, I now know that some times it takes more than love. I'm so confused though, .. because she told me all the time that I was what she wanted, .. that I was who she wanted, .. & it took nothing for that all to change.
After our finaly I love you's , .. we got off the phone both promising each other that if we ever needed each other we would call. The only thing is .. I need her all the time, .. so my phone call will probably never happen for the pure reason that I will blur the lines & never know when I really need her.
Anyways, August just keeps getting closer, .. & I'm getting more nervous. I'm starting work with my dad Tuesday so I can first months rent. At least working will occupy my time & maybe I won't think about everything as much. I feel like shit, ..
I'm going to end this here, .. hope everyone is well. & I really just want to thank Jess, Jo, & Rosa for last night. Jo, even though you constantly swear up & down you can't stand drama, .. you were there for me last night in a way that you had never experianced before. You handled it so well & I am so thankful. & Rosa, .. it never fails ever that you're a nurse for me. Your hug last night meant more than you know. & Jess, .. wow. I don't even know where to begin with thanking you, but I know you know so that's all that matters.
& Heather, I wish you nothing but the best, .. I love you, please never forget me.
Well i talk
Too much
To myself
And i turn my back on my faith
It's like glass
When we Break
I wish no one in my place
and i've seen
you don't need their seeds
when the cut goes in deep
and i'm lost in sleep
i can't stay
in this place
i can't stand
when the room turns round
on my fate
you give no guarantees
there's no promise
i can keep
i can't stand
i can't see my way
i feel blind
on my feet
i can't stay too long
am i wrong?
goodbye, lay the blame on luck
i'm so tired
of my mood
and sleep comes
with a knife, fork and a spoon
you're so pale
in your face
you let life
get in your way
and i've seen
you don't need their seeds
when the cut goes in deep
and i'm lost in sleep
am i wrong?
goodbye, lay the blame on luck