31:33, [Kingdom Hearts]: "Myctophobia" (gen surprise!character study)
As always, an idea that popped into my head and just wouldn't. Go. Away. Fortunately for me, this idea was short, and easily entertained by the double shift I had to suffer through at work today. :D
Title: Myctophobia
Author: Lorelei DiAngelo
Rating: PG, probably. While mostly clean, some of the themes presented will probably make you feel like your childhood of Disney characters has been ruined FOREVAH. <3
Pairing: None, gen. Character study of SURPRISE. Probably not who you're expecting, after all.
Summary: He shouldn't feel this way, because he wasn't supposed to feel this way; he was, after all, the kind and compassionate warrior of the light, who was expected to uphold a certain code of honor about these things, and one of the rules of that code was that he wasn't allowed to feel any sort of satisfaction from the enemies that it was that he killed.
Notes: As are all things I happen to write at work, this probably SUCKS. You're warned.
For: emptybackpack. I suspect she will appreciate this, since she is, after all, a fan of twists on the definition of a "hero".
[EDIT]: Caitlin, I just decided, this IS for you, as a rewrite of your drabble thingy for the request meme, because yours, despite having the potential to be made of sunshine and WIN, was actually the shortest of the group and hence I feel like an ass. SO! Rewrite of the theme, "The modern hero is sometimes driven to desperate means to survive". ♥ Hope you enjoy.
There is a word for it, he knows, and the word for it is myctophobia.
It laughs at him from his dreams, mocking him, making a parody of all it is that he stands for, of all that he is supposed to represent. But he cannot help it. He fears the dark. He feels it eating away at his world, enveloping those he loves. He sees the edges of it teeming at the border of light; weak light, light that fades like the day into the endless void of night. He wants to burn it all away as though it were fire, until the light grows so strong that there is no shadow, until everything is brought to a point of perfect clarity; him, his heart, the weapon in his hand.
He fears perhaps not the darkness itself, but rather the knowledge that all of those he has strived so hard to protect could one day be simply washed away by that darkness, without resistance or a chance or a care. The darkness would have no care, either, no sorrow nor regret for the lives it had taken away, only a brief satisfaction and then the greedy, craven desire for always more. It is not perception that skewers his view to suit his purpose, it is a universal truth in the world, and one that stands to itself without exception.
Creatures of light are burdened with a conscience, however, and he sometimes finds himself wishing, desperately, that it were not so. Wishes that he could protect with an unfettered heart, wishes that that shadows that he slices through with his blade would stop changing into something that could almost be recognized as the faces of what they used to be. It grows harder and harder to maintain his beliefs of black and white, to smile brightly despite the darkness staining his hands.
He shouldn't feel this way, because he isn't supposed to feel this way; he was, after all, the kind and compassionate warrior of the light, who was expected to uphold a certain code of honor about these things, and one of the rules of that code was that he wasn't allowed to feel any sort of satisfaction from the enemies that it was that he killed. That he wasn't supposed to feel as though he were dealing divine justice which each swing of his strange key-shaped blade, that he wasn't supposed to feel relief for ridding the world of yet another shadow that would eventually meld its way with the others into a force capable of destroying light.
He had just started his journey out of a desire to protect his friends. That was all he needed, right? He only needed to last until then, right? When the world was safe, when everything was out of danger, then he could spare a thought or two towards regret. He could spare all of the self-doubt in the world, then, when there was no longer the threat that the slightest misstep could put an immeasureable amount of people in mortal peril.
The modern hero is sometimes driven to desperate means to survive. Even delusion.
"Right?" he says aloud, choosely wisely to ignore the fact that it comes out shaken, and high-strung.
The Keyblade sings in his hand, as though offering its confirmation of his words. It makes his burden surprisingly easy to bear.
Mickey shoulders his weapon, tilts his chin to the sky, and steps forward to rid himself of his fear of the dark.
AN: BAHAHAHAH I BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT, CAITLIN. >D I'm actually really pleased with this, even though it's only ficlet-length at best...I dunno, something about writing Mickey from this really "real" perspective made me gain an appreciation for his character that was something beyond the usual "OMG RIKU HAS FOUND HIMSELF A FLUFFY HUGGABLE FRIEND" scope that I usually tend to use when thinking of him. XD;; Because hey, ALL the great Disney heroes find themselves facing a moral dilemma or two at SOME point in their lives.
...it was really hard to avoid using the words "dark" and "light" far too many times in this fic. O.o I hope I succeeded.
Title: Myctophobia
Author: Lorelei DiAngelo
Rating: PG, probably. While mostly clean, some of the themes presented will probably make you feel like your childhood of Disney characters has been ruined FOREVAH. <3
Pairing: None, gen. Character study of SURPRISE. Probably not who you're expecting, after all.
Summary: He shouldn't feel this way, because he wasn't supposed to feel this way; he was, after all, the kind and compassionate warrior of the light, who was expected to uphold a certain code of honor about these things, and one of the rules of that code was that he wasn't allowed to feel any sort of satisfaction from the enemies that it was that he killed.
Notes: As are all things I happen to write at work, this probably SUCKS. You're warned.
For: emptybackpack. I suspect she will appreciate this, since she is, after all, a fan of twists on the definition of a "hero".
[EDIT]: Caitlin, I just decided, this IS for you, as a rewrite of your drabble thingy for the request meme, because yours, despite having the potential to be made of sunshine and WIN, was actually the shortest of the group and hence I feel like an ass. SO! Rewrite of the theme, "The modern hero is sometimes driven to desperate means to survive". ♥ Hope you enjoy.
There is a word for it, he knows, and the word for it is myctophobia.
It laughs at him from his dreams, mocking him, making a parody of all it is that he stands for, of all that he is supposed to represent. But he cannot help it. He fears the dark. He feels it eating away at his world, enveloping those he loves. He sees the edges of it teeming at the border of light; weak light, light that fades like the day into the endless void of night. He wants to burn it all away as though it were fire, until the light grows so strong that there is no shadow, until everything is brought to a point of perfect clarity; him, his heart, the weapon in his hand.
He fears perhaps not the darkness itself, but rather the knowledge that all of those he has strived so hard to protect could one day be simply washed away by that darkness, without resistance or a chance or a care. The darkness would have no care, either, no sorrow nor regret for the lives it had taken away, only a brief satisfaction and then the greedy, craven desire for always more. It is not perception that skewers his view to suit his purpose, it is a universal truth in the world, and one that stands to itself without exception.
Creatures of light are burdened with a conscience, however, and he sometimes finds himself wishing, desperately, that it were not so. Wishes that he could protect with an unfettered heart, wishes that that shadows that he slices through with his blade would stop changing into something that could almost be recognized as the faces of what they used to be. It grows harder and harder to maintain his beliefs of black and white, to smile brightly despite the darkness staining his hands.
He shouldn't feel this way, because he isn't supposed to feel this way; he was, after all, the kind and compassionate warrior of the light, who was expected to uphold a certain code of honor about these things, and one of the rules of that code was that he wasn't allowed to feel any sort of satisfaction from the enemies that it was that he killed. That he wasn't supposed to feel as though he were dealing divine justice which each swing of his strange key-shaped blade, that he wasn't supposed to feel relief for ridding the world of yet another shadow that would eventually meld its way with the others into a force capable of destroying light.
He had just started his journey out of a desire to protect his friends. That was all he needed, right? He only needed to last until then, right? When the world was safe, when everything was out of danger, then he could spare a thought or two towards regret. He could spare all of the self-doubt in the world, then, when there was no longer the threat that the slightest misstep could put an immeasureable amount of people in mortal peril.
The modern hero is sometimes driven to desperate means to survive. Even delusion.
"Right?" he says aloud, choosely wisely to ignore the fact that it comes out shaken, and high-strung.
The Keyblade sings in his hand, as though offering its confirmation of his words. It makes his burden surprisingly easy to bear.
Mickey shoulders his weapon, tilts his chin to the sky, and steps forward to rid himself of his fear of the dark.
AN: BAHAHAHAH I BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT, CAITLIN. >D I'm actually really pleased with this, even though it's only ficlet-length at best...I dunno, something about writing Mickey from this really "real" perspective made me gain an appreciation for his character that was something beyond the usual "OMG RIKU HAS FOUND HIMSELF A FLUFFY HUGGABLE FRIEND" scope that I usually tend to use when thinking of him. XD;; Because hey, ALL the great Disney heroes find themselves facing a moral dilemma or two at SOME point in their lives.
...it was really hard to avoid using the words "dark" and "light" far too many times in this fic. O.o I hope I succeeded.