K-Dog gives me odd nightmares / The job of my dreams
To those reading, you all need a quick update about my rather meager love life.
I think I've fallen ridiculously hard for my friend. So bad to the point that sometimes it hurts thinking about her. I haven't had it this bad in... Well, a very long while, and it frightens me. Problem is, I don't think I have a future with her the way our lives are: I'm in Texas, she's in California, and although she likes me, I don't think that she would seriously consider a long distance even though I would. I spent most of my break with her, and it was absolutely fucking wonderful. Just being around her makes me happy. As of now, all we'll be is friends because I leave Wednesday and she has many other guys in her life that she could potentially date long-term that are closer, and just as wonderful as me me pushing is just going to have a negative impact on everything... Like any Nice Guy, I'd rather keep her as a friend then push the issue, especially now when she's so stressed about life and boys.
OK, so I guess I'd need to move on right? Or at least, not worry about this, but someone needs to explain to me why the heck I just woke up in a cold sweat at 3AM frantic about imaginary Facebook photos by her of places like Phoenix, AZ or Dallas, TX with other guy friends. There was more to the dream, because I remember a growing sense of unease...
I guess that makes my subconcious a jealous bastard. Why should I care even if she did travel to these places with her other friends, or even a SO? But it's the strangest thing to trigger a panic response so strong that it wakes me from my sleep.
I don't want to be like this. I feel sick about leaving California because of this. I shouldn't care.
But she's a girl that I'd seriously consider driving two hours to give a hug to if she needed one.
I need to get back to Austin ASAP, bury myself in work, and forget about this... And then send flowers. What kind of weirdo am I...? The kind that would join the Foreign Service.
I'm told that being a FS Officer is a hard life if you want to have a family. Always traveling, and the spouse needs to love traveling or love the FSO enough that they could uproot every few years, or simply not see each other for months at a time. I don't know I want that. I'd love everything else except that. I don't know I could live being a bachelor for all my life if doing what I want means living a solitary life...
I think I've fallen ridiculously hard for my friend. So bad to the point that sometimes it hurts thinking about her. I haven't had it this bad in... Well, a very long while, and it frightens me. Problem is, I don't think I have a future with her the way our lives are: I'm in Texas, she's in California, and although she likes me, I don't think that she would seriously consider a long distance even though I would. I spent most of my break with her, and it was absolutely fucking wonderful. Just being around her makes me happy. As of now, all we'll be is friends because I leave Wednesday and she has many other guys in her life that she could potentially date long-term that are closer, and just as wonderful as me me pushing is just going to have a negative impact on everything... Like any Nice Guy, I'd rather keep her as a friend then push the issue, especially now when she's so stressed about life and boys.
OK, so I guess I'd need to move on right? Or at least, not worry about this, but someone needs to explain to me why the heck I just woke up in a cold sweat at 3AM frantic about imaginary Facebook photos by her of places like Phoenix, AZ or Dallas, TX with other guy friends. There was more to the dream, because I remember a growing sense of unease...
I guess that makes my subconcious a jealous bastard. Why should I care even if she did travel to these places with her other friends, or even a SO? But it's the strangest thing to trigger a panic response so strong that it wakes me from my sleep.
I don't want to be like this. I feel sick about leaving California because of this. I shouldn't care.
But she's a girl that I'd seriously consider driving two hours to give a hug to if she needed one.
I need to get back to Austin ASAP, bury myself in work, and forget about this... And then send flowers. What kind of weirdo am I...? The kind that would join the Foreign Service.
I'm told that being a FS Officer is a hard life if you want to have a family. Always traveling, and the spouse needs to love traveling or love the FSO enough that they could uproot every few years, or simply not see each other for months at a time. I don't know I want that. I'd love everything else except that. I don't know I could live being a bachelor for all my life if doing what I want means living a solitary life...