Cerebralstockfootagereel4
"Shut up and put the robe on, I won't ask you again."
"FUCK YOU!"
"Roger go back to bed, everything is ok."
"FUCK YOU TOO!"
"Are you allergic to any medications?"
"I'm allergic to the smell eminating from between your legs having been through "the change" years ago when I was probably a glimmer in someone's eye you fucking piece of shit. I could have grown up TWICE in that time. I'll bet you're a widow aren't you?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU HAVEN'T GROWN UP YET! TWICE?! SHOW ME A GROWN MAN IN THIS ROOM AND ILL LET YOU GO FREE!"
"Penicillin.. Keflex.. Can I please have a tissue?"
"I don't deserve this." - Bullshit - "I am a good person."
"Good people don't steal from their mothers"
"Fuck you I AM somebody!"
"You're a delusional idiot. Are you high on something now?"
"NO!"
As she walked home, miles away and in the rain, I cursed the back of her head. How could she leave me here to face this situation alone? The pigs seemed to be testing their flashlight batteries. I knew she'd be back. I just didn't want to take her home crying. I was doing something right! Right?! I was doing something fucking right for once. I said nice things in a soft tone and this fucker decides to run a stop sign! Blown to hell! All to fucking hell! "Who do you think you are? You just pushed me into the mud you bitch!"
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to! WHY DO YOU NEED DIRECTIONS TO HER HOUSE!??"
"I already told you, I gave her a ride home. She was stranded. I need directions BACK and you KNOW that."
I wanted to just run away and spend my last dollar on gas station speed.
It was all a total loss, however many months I wasted smoking myself stupid as I lost touch with everyone that mattered and developed a nasty God complex. I couldn't stand to be there. This was not "home." I've been home.. For a brief sigh I knew what home WAS.
"Think of it as a test drive."
"It won't always be this way."
"I promise you." "I promise you." "I promise." "You have my word." "I promise." "I swear!" "I'm sorry."
The small crowd moved into the kitchen and admired the prints on the walls, and other such decorations I had no part in. I smiled and nodded, agreed with everyone while I twisted the knife under my shirt deeper into my skin, a tiny stream of blood seeping out from under my costume.
"These things have meaning to you. You care if this happens or that doesn't. I'm more likely to forget than to ever care."
"So your life has no meaning?"
"I give as much as I can, I'm worn thin and there isn't a lot left to go around."
"So your life has no meaning?"
"Sometimes. Love. I will say Love. I am Love."
"But people are afraid of you."
"No one treats me the same as they do everyone else."
"You do that to yourself."
"Will I ever be able to make this right??"
"Probably not, but new things and new people will come along once you're on your feet."
I stood up slowly and looked around. Nothing had changed.
"It didn't work."
........
"FUCK YOU!"
"Roger go back to bed, everything is ok."
"FUCK YOU TOO!"
"Are you allergic to any medications?"
"I'm allergic to the smell eminating from between your legs having been through "the change" years ago when I was probably a glimmer in someone's eye you fucking piece of shit. I could have grown up TWICE in that time. I'll bet you're a widow aren't you?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU HAVEN'T GROWN UP YET! TWICE?! SHOW ME A GROWN MAN IN THIS ROOM AND ILL LET YOU GO FREE!"
"Penicillin.. Keflex.. Can I please have a tissue?"
"I don't deserve this." - Bullshit - "I am a good person."
"Good people don't steal from their mothers"
"Fuck you I AM somebody!"
"You're a delusional idiot. Are you high on something now?"
"NO!"
As she walked home, miles away and in the rain, I cursed the back of her head. How could she leave me here to face this situation alone? The pigs seemed to be testing their flashlight batteries. I knew she'd be back. I just didn't want to take her home crying. I was doing something right! Right?! I was doing something fucking right for once. I said nice things in a soft tone and this fucker decides to run a stop sign! Blown to hell! All to fucking hell! "Who do you think you are? You just pushed me into the mud you bitch!"
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to! WHY DO YOU NEED DIRECTIONS TO HER HOUSE!??"
"I already told you, I gave her a ride home. She was stranded. I need directions BACK and you KNOW that."
I wanted to just run away and spend my last dollar on gas station speed.
It was all a total loss, however many months I wasted smoking myself stupid as I lost touch with everyone that mattered and developed a nasty God complex. I couldn't stand to be there. This was not "home." I've been home.. For a brief sigh I knew what home WAS.
"Think of it as a test drive."
"It won't always be this way."
"I promise you." "I promise you." "I promise." "You have my word." "I promise." "I swear!" "I'm sorry."
The small crowd moved into the kitchen and admired the prints on the walls, and other such decorations I had no part in. I smiled and nodded, agreed with everyone while I twisted the knife under my shirt deeper into my skin, a tiny stream of blood seeping out from under my costume.
"These things have meaning to you. You care if this happens or that doesn't. I'm more likely to forget than to ever care."
"So your life has no meaning?"
"I give as much as I can, I'm worn thin and there isn't a lot left to go around."
"So your life has no meaning?"
"Sometimes. Love. I will say Love. I am Love."
"But people are afraid of you."
"No one treats me the same as they do everyone else."
"You do that to yourself."
"Will I ever be able to make this right??"
"Probably not, but new things and new people will come along once you're on your feet."
I stood up slowly and looked around. Nothing had changed.
"It didn't work."
........