Bad Dates 101
Oh. My. God. Did last night actually happen? I feel like I’m in a bad reality tv show.
I’ll back up a bit because its been forever since I’ve updated.
After 7 months of giving everything I had, and being the best girlfriend I thought I could be, Steve ended our relationship at the end of January. The reason? He didn’t love me, and didn’t have any feelings for me beyond being a best friend. We went out to dinner the week after it happened, and I asked him a few questions- did I do anything wrong, what made you want to stop trying, etc. We haven’t spoken since. I don’t know how to approach a friendship with him after the kind of relationship that we had.
Needless to say I managed to go out with a guy last night who I had briefly dated last summer, before Steve. The evening ended in disaster and I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.
We arranged via e-mail to meet for dinner last night, which went really well- and I had asked him if he was seeing anyone, and he said no he wasn’t- he had dated a few girls but none could really understand his schedule, and if there’s anything I’ve mastered its dealing with wacky schedules. Working full time, on top of being a full time student I had completely understood. He was a dental student in his final year at Boston University.
After dinner I had suggested that we go for a walk along the river since it was so nice out, even after the sun had gone down. The Charles River runs behind his apartment so I figured it was the perfect spot for a walk, and we could keep talking.
The walk also was a lot of fun, as we got to spend more time catching up- since nearly a year had passed since we had last spoken. We went back to his apartment and kept talking, sitting on the couch.
Then suddenly his apartment buzzer goes off. He said to ignore it, since it was someone probably just trying to get into the building. I understood that as people have rang my buzzer at weird hours too. The buzzer went off a second time, this time much longer. So he decided to see who it was, and I hear this girl’s voice- “it’s me”, she said. He then told me that the girl was someone he had dated briefly, and she was a bit crazy. I didn’t want to get into any confrontation so I decided to leave through the back door. I had no idea what was going on but he thanked me for being understanding and said he’d call me later.
As I’m about to go down into the subway station, my phone rang. It was him, and he was saying that I need you to talk to her about our recent breakup. (whaaaa?!?!) I was tired, confused, and just wanted to get home so I said ok, I’ll say hi and talk to her. She gets on the phone saying that the guy is an awesome boyfriend (again- whaaaa?!?!) and she didn’t understand why I didn’t want to stay and meet her, why did I go out the back door, was I trying to hide something, etc. She knew I was there apparently because he lives in a basement apartment and the windows were open, so she could hear us talking.
I explained to her that we were only friends now and had made plans for dinner. I said that I didn’t want to get into a confrontation that evening and that is why I left out the back. I wrapped up the conversation quickly saying I had an early morning meeting and I had to get home. However I asked to speak to him before she hung up and I said to him “I think you forgot to tell me something”. He mumbled something like “uh huh”, and he said he’d call me later.
I got on the subway to head home with just the worst feeling in my stomach. I don’t even remember the ride home, and then I drove home from the station. Don’t remember any part of that either.
I was up all night replaying the evening in my head to see if I had missed something.
Why would he:
1) tell me he isn’t seeing anyone
2) want to hang out after dinner, taking a walk and heading back to his place
Its now almost 3pm the next day and I’ve yet to hear a peep from him.
If I had known that he had a girlfriend I just would have ended the evening at dinner and gone home. However, since the night seemed to be going so well I wanted to hang out a little bit longer.
What gets me the worst is that he said he wasn’t seeing anyone. If there’s one thing I hate in this world its being lied to.
So- do I just chalk this up as give up and never speak to him again? If he’s going to contact me I’d think he’d do it sometime today to apologize. If I don’t hear from him by the end of the week for sure- I will just move on from this and try to forget about it, because I never want to go through a night like that again.
I’ll back up a bit because its been forever since I’ve updated.
After 7 months of giving everything I had, and being the best girlfriend I thought I could be, Steve ended our relationship at the end of January. The reason? He didn’t love me, and didn’t have any feelings for me beyond being a best friend. We went out to dinner the week after it happened, and I asked him a few questions- did I do anything wrong, what made you want to stop trying, etc. We haven’t spoken since. I don’t know how to approach a friendship with him after the kind of relationship that we had.
Needless to say I managed to go out with a guy last night who I had briefly dated last summer, before Steve. The evening ended in disaster and I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.
We arranged via e-mail to meet for dinner last night, which went really well- and I had asked him if he was seeing anyone, and he said no he wasn’t- he had dated a few girls but none could really understand his schedule, and if there’s anything I’ve mastered its dealing with wacky schedules. Working full time, on top of being a full time student I had completely understood. He was a dental student in his final year at Boston University.
After dinner I had suggested that we go for a walk along the river since it was so nice out, even after the sun had gone down. The Charles River runs behind his apartment so I figured it was the perfect spot for a walk, and we could keep talking.
The walk also was a lot of fun, as we got to spend more time catching up- since nearly a year had passed since we had last spoken. We went back to his apartment and kept talking, sitting on the couch.
Then suddenly his apartment buzzer goes off. He said to ignore it, since it was someone probably just trying to get into the building. I understood that as people have rang my buzzer at weird hours too. The buzzer went off a second time, this time much longer. So he decided to see who it was, and I hear this girl’s voice- “it’s me”, she said. He then told me that the girl was someone he had dated briefly, and she was a bit crazy. I didn’t want to get into any confrontation so I decided to leave through the back door. I had no idea what was going on but he thanked me for being understanding and said he’d call me later.
As I’m about to go down into the subway station, my phone rang. It was him, and he was saying that I need you to talk to her about our recent breakup. (whaaaa?!?!) I was tired, confused, and just wanted to get home so I said ok, I’ll say hi and talk to her. She gets on the phone saying that the guy is an awesome boyfriend (again- whaaaa?!?!) and she didn’t understand why I didn’t want to stay and meet her, why did I go out the back door, was I trying to hide something, etc. She knew I was there apparently because he lives in a basement apartment and the windows were open, so she could hear us talking.
I explained to her that we were only friends now and had made plans for dinner. I said that I didn’t want to get into a confrontation that evening and that is why I left out the back. I wrapped up the conversation quickly saying I had an early morning meeting and I had to get home. However I asked to speak to him before she hung up and I said to him “I think you forgot to tell me something”. He mumbled something like “uh huh”, and he said he’d call me later.
I got on the subway to head home with just the worst feeling in my stomach. I don’t even remember the ride home, and then I drove home from the station. Don’t remember any part of that either.
I was up all night replaying the evening in my head to see if I had missed something.
Why would he:
1) tell me he isn’t seeing anyone
2) want to hang out after dinner, taking a walk and heading back to his place
Its now almost 3pm the next day and I’ve yet to hear a peep from him.
If I had known that he had a girlfriend I just would have ended the evening at dinner and gone home. However, since the night seemed to be going so well I wanted to hang out a little bit longer.
What gets me the worst is that he said he wasn’t seeing anyone. If there’s one thing I hate in this world its being lied to.
So- do I just chalk this up as give up and never speak to him again? If he’s going to contact me I’d think he’d do it sometime today to apologize. If I don’t hear from him by the end of the week for sure- I will just move on from this and try to forget about it, because I never want to go through a night like that again.