I've been thinking a lot...

[eternal_serf]

about stuff that I used to enjoy doing, and things that I now find annoying. Mostly this has to do with the SCA and how my interest in it has waxed and waned over the years. I was pretty excited about the Barony up here, seemed like a chance to be a big part of something cool. Thing is, I don't really have a lot in common with most SCA folks anymore, I don't suckhole, I don't play games, and I don't 'socialize' very much. So I'm actually kind of a pariah. I enjoy seeing my friends and spending time with them, but the 'game' just doesn't really have all that much to offer to me anymore, after my last big blowout a few years ago with Barack I kind of gave up on Chivalry, without the Consort I gave up on the Arts, and I'm never ever going to put in as much effort as I used too when I was 'into' the SCA in a big way so I'm not really all that much into Service anymore.

So there it is...I don't like 90% of the people in something I used to live for, I don't have tons of loot to go off island to see people (and remember this is only the 10% that I like) so it really doesn't do much for me. I was sorta looking forward to running stuff again, but my nature doesn't make me popular with a lot of folks so with that gone I'm looking at....well...nothing really. I don't want to be someones Deputy, or assistant (fuck that I've done it before), and I'm not going to throw sand in the gears for something I really wanted to work, so I'm not going to do that either.

I think I'll just fade away....that kind of appeals to me.