Last Waltz Part 4

[apollymi]

Series: Yu-Gi-Oh
Extended Series: Endless Loop
Word Count: 51,502 (total); 7,913 (this part)
Chapters: Master Post
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII
It didn't take me nearly as long in Tokyo tonight as I thought it would. I manage to catch the ten o'clock train back to Domino, and I step off in my city and just before eleven at night.You know, I've always had either Akito or Kaiba with me when I come back from Tokyo. I don't think I've noticed before just how much livelier it's gotten in Domino since Kaiba took over as Master. It's like a lot of new vampires are moving to town. Maybe it's not just vampires, though; there might be new shape shifters in the city too.

Domino has changed a lot since I first moved here. I've been here nearly twenty years now, if Mai is right about how long has passed since she died - and I guess she would be the expert on that.

When I moved here, I was just trying to get out of Tokyo. I wanted some place close enough for work, if I ended up taking any jobs in Tokyo, which it turned out I did, but yet far enough away that Oyaji wouldn't be too likely to try to track us down. As an added bonus, Oyaji hated Domino. That was a major plus as far as I was concerned at the time.

We weren't even in town a week before we had developed a third roommate/house pet named Jounouchi Katsuya. A month or so after that, I managed to secure my nonexclusive contract with Kame Games and had Malik installed at Kaiba Corp to spy for me.

A very quiet two years later, Gouza-bastard took his flying leap out of a skyscraper window into the daylight, assisted by being taped to a rolling chair and beaten to hell and back. A few months after that, Kaiba was the new Master of the City. A week after that, Oyaji's favorite goon kidnapped me to try to torture me until Ryou agreed to be his heir again. I don't remember it, but apparently I managed to sic my ghosts on him. Kaiba moved me into his house once I was out of the hospital from that, and apparently he set himself to work cleaning Domino the hell up.

Now it looks like our little city is getting popular, along with that damned card game Yami loved so damn much. If I didn't know that it started elsewhere, I would say that this is becoming its home.

I'm none too fond of Duel Monsters, obviously. Okay, honestly, I can't stand it, even less so now after the dream world. Ryou played it occasionally; he may still play it, since Yuugi enjoys it. Pegasus plays it. Diceboy plays it. Kaiba used to play it, back when time still permitted it and he had someone in the house that did as well, such as Mokuba or Noa or even Yami, though admittedly, those matches tended to get a bit... heated.

Yami... He loved the damned game, and he was damn good at it, good enough that he managed to earn the title of Game King, apparently for being among the best in the world at it. That takes more dedication than I have time to give a game. Hell, that's almost more dedication than I have time to give anything, at least other than family.

Even I have to admit, though, that the game has gotten a lot bigger in the past fifteen years or so, especially here in Domino. If I were a more cynical person than I already am, I would think people are flocking here to play it because of Yami. Who am I kidding? I am cynical, and that's probably why they're all here to play it.

If Kaiba gets any ideas about hosting a Battle City, like he did in the dream world, then I do not hold myself responsible for whatever I might do to him for that. I saw how that turned out in the dream world. It ended up with a crazy Malik possessed by an even crazier Marik, a giant penis extension blimp, and me in a coma. I'm going to really hope that he doesn't get it in his head to try it. I'm not sure how I feel about beating him any time in the near future.

"Are you seriously planning on walking back to the house?" Mai's voice cuts across my thoughts. Somehow, I had almost forgotten that she was right here with me.

I recover quickly, though, and shrug nonchalantly. "I just want to walk a little further. I'm not to interested in being back home yet tonight."

She nods slightly. "He did look a bit frazzled earlier. Of course, if I had people calling me when I was supposed to be asleep, I would be cranky as hell too."

I can feel my face settling into a frown. How did she know that? She wasn't in the room when Seto was telling me about it earlier. At least, I'm pretty sure she wasn't. I should have been able to make a mental note about if she was or wasn't.

Still, I need to cover all my bases here. "Did I tell you about that?"

She grimaces, and it looks sympathetic. "Yeah, you did, Bakura, hon. You told me about it on the train, on the way home."

At least Mai is kind enough not to ask about whether or not I remember the conversation. It's pretty obvious that I don't.

And this is the bane of my existence now. Once upon a time, that was Oyaji, but I have since taken care of that problem. It has also been my ghostly abilities, but I have come to accept them now, and that actually makes them easier to live with now. Now my biggest pain is my mind.
Either it's the blackouts (where I lose track of myself, what I'm doing, what I'm saying, and who I'm with) or the white outs (where I can't see a single thing right in front of my face, no matter how hard I may try and strain) or it's the drifting away (which I have yet to actually understand enough to explain).

The drifting away is very much like the blackouts, but at the same time, it's nothing alike. When I blackout like I do, I have absolutely no knowledge or memory of what happens around. When I drift away, I'm still vaguely conscious of what's happening, but I have no ability to affect it. I'm not sure which is more terrifying some days. Other days, I think the two might be a tie.

I mean, which would be more terrifying? Not knowing what you're doing or knowing what you're doing but being unable to stop yourself? It's not an easy answer, at least not for me. Maybe I'm overanalyzing it, but I've had plenty enough time to fret over it, as Mai might say.

"Of course," I answer quietly.

She sets a cold hand on my shoulder and comments softly, "I'm sorry, Bakura."

I nod, accepting the condolences without comment. Mai doesn't mean it like she's apologizing for something she did or wishes she could have prevented. I can tell that much. I think she means that she's sorry it happened to me and she wishes she could change it. I can understand that much at least.

And then something catches my eye that has me checking the gamers again. I can't have just seen what I thought I saw.

But yeah, there's that distinctive Mutou purple, magenta, and gold spiky hair mixed in the group. His back is to me, so I can't tell if it's Yuugi or Yami. No one really seems to be paying any attention to him, so my bets are on Yami.

Here I am, worrying about running out time on how to bring him back, while he's scoping out the local Duel Monsters group. Typical. Honestly, it's not that far from how we were even when we were together and both alive. I think Jounouchi said that Yami and I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional,' but it worked for us.

I don't even stop to think and start easing my way through the crowd, Mai trailing right behind me. Maybe she saw what I did, or maybe she was just following me. Either way, it is kind of nice to have her at my back, like always.

The closer I get, the more certain I am that this isn't my Yami. I may be misremembering, but I'm pretty sure that Yami wasn't nearly this tall. The eyes are all wrong too. Yami's were bright red, like freshly spilled blood; this guy's eyes are clearly contacts. Not to mention that his leather is all knockoff stuff, while Yami's was tailored to fit him exactly; granted, he always looked like he had to be poured into his clothes, but hey, I wasn't complaining.

The guy glances up from observing the game and actually looks right at me. There isn't the faintest spark of recognition. It isn't Yami. Maybe it's vain, but I like to think that any version of Yami will always recognize me. If he recognized me in the dream world, when I was wholly unrecognizable even to myself, then he should always know who I am. I'm holding on to that.

Silently, I stop, standing completely still for a long moment and maybe staring at this not-Yami a bit too long to be in any way comforting; in fact, it has to be at least bordering on creepy. So I make myself turn around and head back out of the crowd.

"It did look like him," Mai comments.

"Just watch: next I'm going to be seeing phantom Jounouchi-kitties," I mutter darkly.

"I guess this is a sign of how popular Duel Monsters is getting, if people are dressing up as Yami," she offers. With half a smile, she continues slyly, "Do you think anyone cosplays as Kaiba?"

The image that flashes through my mind in a split second is hilarious enough to snap me out of any funk. More than that, the idea that Seto might pick up that mental image only makes it even more hilarious. In fact, I really hope he did actually 'overhear' that. It would make my night. Kaiba picks some of the funniest reactions to some of the things he 'overhears'.

Then again, I might make some pretty damn good faces at things I 'overhear' from him. For instance, the fact that he rarely cusses well, even in his own thoughts, can make me fall out of a chair laughing at any point in the day or night. When he thinks about Mokuba, even I want to hug the bastard - or sic Shizuka or Amane on him. When he's thinking about work, I have a feeling I get a little cross-eyed, and whenever Gouza-bastard or Seth crosses his mind, I have a long session in the gym with a punching bag.

Oh yeah, we had to add a gym. The wolves begged, and the cats put up the most pitiful faces. I think Seto would have given it to them either way. I just put a few things in there that someone with human strength can use and wrote my name all over them. I wish I were joking.

We're getting better at modulating the link between us. It's an ongoing process and one that sometimes involves swearing (on my part) and growling (on Kaiba's part), but we're still trying. We might kill each other in the process, but we're still trying.

"You know, I think I am going to call Akito to come pick me up," I comment once the snickers subside a bit.

In all honesty, I'm actually a little surprised that Kaiba hasn't called me yet himself. I've sort of been all over the place, emotionally speaking, tonight, so it's a little bit odd that he hasn't called to check up on me. Either I'm getting better at tamping down the emotions on my end of things or else he's really busy with something that has him wholly occupied.

Truthfully, that doesn't happen often. I think I've said it before; I know that I've at least thought it before, if nothing else; but Kaiba is our resident genius. There isn't a whole lot that can occupy his entire mind, not for any length of time longer than half an hour or so. Hell, I've barely even seen him fully occupied that long.

Have I ever said it out loud? Maybe to Ryou, maybe in the dream world. I couldn't have said it around Yami; he and Kaiba never got along. Actually, that's a huge understatement. Saying they fought like cats and dogs is a huge understatement. All I can really say is that Yami lived in the Kaiba house because that was where Yuugi and I were and that Kaiba let him live there because...

I actually I don't know why. The easiest answer might be that Yami moved in when I came home from the hospital. I guess maybe it was easier to humor him and then it was damn hard to throw him out once he was there. I don't know if that's the right answer, though. Maybe the right answer is just that Kaiba is a (very) secret softie.

Ryou had the theory he told me once that Kaiba has a soft spot for guys named 'Bakura'. I think I call bullshit on that one. Yeah, I get my way a lot - okay, a whole hell of a lot - but that does not a soft spot make.

What exactly does make a soft spot, I don't know, but it has to be more than just me getting my way almost all the time. There has to be. I refuse to accept that that's all it takes to make a soft spot.

"Are you going to call, or do you want me to start learning smoke signals?" Mai interrupts my thoughts. And it's just as well, given the darker turn they were making.

"Why don't you hop on those smoke signals, babe?" I fire right back.

"Sure thing. I'll get right on it. Oh, how do you say 'Bakura is an ass' in them?" God, I love Mai's sense of humor, I think to myself with a smirk, even as I flip her off. "You are so not my type."

My phone is in the front pocket of my jeans, the better to avoid pickpockets, so I fish it out and hit speed dial 2. I didn't actually set Kaiba as my first speed dial; he set it himself when he bought the phone. Ryou is 3, Amane is 4, Shizuka is 5, and that's all the numbers I ever really I use. I'm pretty sure Magnum and Dartz are both preprogrammed in as well, but I rarely call either of them, so I'll be damned if I can remember.

The number Kaiba put in is for his personal phone. Only a few people have the number - Mokuba, Noa, Ryou, Yuugi, and me - and an even fewer number have ever actually used it, namely Mokuba and me, usually me. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who's calling in that case. Besides, that's what caller ID was created for.

"Well?"

Yep, that's Kaiba all right. He's never going to win any awards for friendliness. Then again, neither am I, so that works out pretty well.
"Bust. It was Isis Ishtar, not either of her brothers." And I'm still kicking myself for not even considering the fact that it could have been her before I got up there.

"Did she have any news?"

I shrug, and maybe he can feel it too. "She got a letter from them. It was post stamped in America, but she couldn't make out where. Look, I'm back in Domino. Can you send Akito to come pick me and Mai up? I'm ready to crash."

There's a long pause, and I can almost see Kaiba looking at the time on his computer. A glance at my watch tells me it's only just after eleven. But it's been a long-ass, busy day of disappointments, and I'm fucking ready for it to be over.

"Magnum has all the wolves out for the rest of the week for their pack training session. It would take at least an hour for Akito to come get you. Would you still like me to call him?"

Fuck, I forgot about that. And didn't I turn down a chance to pull him away before, when I was leaving? Fuck. I smack myself on the side of the head for my forgetfulness. "Nah, I'll catch a taxi back to the house instead."

"Quit hitting yourself." And okay, did he hear that or feel it? Either way I'm not asking. "I'll come pick you up."

Oh fuck no. I've been in a car with Kaiba before, and it's one experience that I never want to duplicate. Akito may drive fast as hell, but generally speaking, he drives fairly safe. Kaiba drives like he's going to get points for every speed bump, sidewalk, and pedestrian he hits. His left hand turns were possible originally designed to make little old ladies wet themselves in fear.

"Nah, the cab's fine. I'm waving one down right now. I'll be home in twenty minutes."

"See to it that you are." And then there's the click on him hanging up and silence.

Yeah, it's not the first time that Kaiba's hung up on me. Hell, it's not even the first time this week he's hung up on me. But that was a bit more authoritative than usual. Maybe he was looking to make a break for it, if he's in some boring meeting or something. I'm not risking my life or stomach to get him out of a meeting, though. There are some things I won't do for anyone.

Thankfully, it doesn't take too long to wave down a cab. There are a few in this area of town, and business seems to be doing quite well, if the number of taxis I see is any indication. And at least I managed to find a cabbie that didn't hear where I wanted to go, the Kaiba compound, and immediately floor it. I could use a few minutes to collect my thoughts and all.

I'm tired, and I might be starting to drift a bit. It has been a long night following a long day, both of which were full of disappointments. It makes for an exhausted me.

So they stopped through America at the very least. I almost wonder if that's where they stayed, but I don't know. Marik could speak passable English, and Jounouchi-kitty was learning; Malik would have been on his own.

I always, somehow, thought it would be Germany. Jounouchi-kitty spoke the language pretty damn fluently, but that was about the extent of the thought I put into it.

America makes sense too. The problem is that the country is too goddamn big. If I had a state or even better a city, I might be able to track them down further. Isis' letter didn't have that kind of detail, though, at least not from what she told me.

There are reasons why she wouldn't tell me if she did know anything else. I hate to admit it, but there are. Not everyone is totally keen on the fact that I'm a human servant to a Master of a city. Not everyone is all right with the fact that what they say to me stands a good chance of traveling back to Kaiba.

There have been insinuations made about the relationship between Kaiba and me. I usually do everything in my power to make these particular gossip spreaders as miserable as possible for that one. The truth is, I live at his house and I help take care of things during the day (but only on certain things, things Kaiba is pretty sure even I can't fuck up). Occasionally, I show up with him at vampire events, but only since that one's part of the job description.

Speaking of which, the job needs a title change. I do very little 'serving' where this particular vampire is concerned, so that makes the title inaccurate at best. Human partner? Nope, that sounds like something the gossipmongers would eat up. Human companion? Ditto for that with the gossiping. I'm going to have to keep working on this and try to find something that is both accurate and unlikely to get people talking.

At last the gate is in sight. I think all the cabbies in this town know to drop people off just outside the gates because there is very little chance they're getting through them. Hell, very few people get up to the house at all anymore. It's yet more of Kaiba's paranoid security measures at work. I pay the man and head up to the house with Mai right behind me as usual.

Isono is working gate duty tonight, which actually says a bit about how short-staffed we are at the moment. Typically, he only works the front if there's really no one else to handle it. His usual area is the house itself, making sure the people in it are safe. I have yet to see anyone get the drop on the man and Kitty liked him, and that's all good enough for me.

"Bakura-san," he intones briefly. It was actually an effort getting him to that. When I first moved in, it was 'Bakura-dono'. I nixed that one pretty quickly, but it only led to 'Bakura-sama'. I'll take '-san' over either of those any day. "Kaiba-sama is waiting for you."

It's all about choosing your battles with Isono. Kaiba clearly decided that this wasn't a battle he wanted to fight. I mean he lets Kisara call him 'Seto-sama' so I guess 'Kaiba-sama' isn't any better or worse than that.

"How deep of shit am I in?" I have to ask anyway. It's probably a pointless question, but still, it's worth asking. You never know; he might actually answer this time. "Scale of one to ten?"

"Kaiba-sama said he would be waiting in his office for you."

And yeah, I figured that I wasn't going to get a straight answer out of him. Isono isn't really that type of guy. He's not big on the talking, which makes him a bit frustrating for me because I enjoy talking. I enjoy it even more when the person I'm talking to answers me. Something more than a 'yes' or a 'no' is even better than that. That's how Isono rolls, though, so I guess I can't fault him for that.

It's maybe a five-minute trek up to the house. The downside of our being so short staffed at the moment is that there is no one running the golf cart, and apparently, I'm not allowed to use it. I haven't wrecked one or anything. I guess this is just one of those examples of Kaiba being proactive or something. Maybe I look dangerous to golf carts. I don't know.

The front hall is at least somewhat brighter now. All the lights along the walls have been switched on, making it much easier for those of us who can't practically see in the dark to navigate to where they are going. I guess there's really only two people here who fit that description, though, and I think Varon puts up enough fuss on the matter for the both of us.

I give it maybe half a minute's worth of debate before I just head into his office without knocking. I like to consider being a pushy bastard to be one of my more endearing traits.

It's just as well that I didn't knock anyway, seeing as how he's on the phone and all. There's this frightfully pissed off look on his face, and I take a moment to discern if it's because of me and my intrusion or whoever is on the phone. From what little I'm picking up, it's mostly the bastard on the phone (description as provided by Kaiba), but I could also stand to learn some manners.

Take it or leave it, Treeboy. This is as good as it gets.

From the brief glare he flings my way, I think he got that message.

Now to work on assessing Threat Level Kaiba... He's still sitting down, which is a fairly good sign. However, his hair is all over the damn place, so he's pushed the hand not holding the phone through it quite a bit, giving him a bad case of bed head. I'm not catching even the faintest glimpse of fang, so that's a good sign as well. However, there are about eight broken pencils on the desk, which is a sure sign he's frustrated.

I'm going to rate this one about a five out of ten on Threat Level Kaiba, pending any growls that may send it up to a six. If he breaks that phone in his hand, though, it catapults it up to at least a seven. I try to avoid things getting above sixes, though. It swiftly becomes officially Not Pretty at that point, and I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with that tonight. It's been too long a night to deal with a pissy Kaiba on top of it.

"We'll deal with it," he's saying. Whoever he talking to probably thinks he's fairly calm. I've known Kaiba long enough to know that this is pretty damn close to the hearty 'fuck off' tone. I have not heard it in quite a while. Whoever he's talking to is doing a pretty good job of pissing him off. "I said we would handle it. Now if you don't mind, I can handle the situation better if you let me get off the phone and deal with it." There's about a beat of a pause. "Fine. Goodbye."

There is about half a second where I debate on making a break for it, but frankly, he's a lot faster than me. I've seen him beat the shit out of weird new vampires and I've heard him beat the shit out of Seth. If he can beat other vampires, then there's no chance of me getting away before he can catch up, pass me twice, and still catch me.

"Whatever it is, I didn't do it" comes out of my mouth the moment he hangs up. This is my new philosophy: deny early and deny frequently, and maybe that way they will never suspect me.

"Yes, Bakura, for once, you didn't do it." He sounds tired, and that's frankly a bit alarming. Either it's filtering through me into him, which would really suck because I don't think that's how this link thing is supposed to work, or else he's tired of putting up with people's shit.

"So, spill. What's up? What do we need to 'handle'?" The urge to air quote is strong, but I manage somehow to resist it.

He sighs, and there's the first peek of fang of the night. It's pretty damn uncommon and actually says quite a lot about what's been going on since I left. Okay, it doesn't actually say anything directly, but on how much whoever it is happens to be frustrating Kaiba, yeah, it says volumes there.

"Osaka has lost a rogue shifter. Last time any of those... people heard, she was heading towards Domino."

And yeah, that's my eyebrow shooting up to my hairline. We don't get many rogue anything, much less rogue shape shifters, and more than that, female rogues are incredibly rare. Neat, this ought to be interesting.

"So what do they want us to do about it?" I prompt when he's silent after those few words. "Do they want us to return her or kill her or keep her or what?"

"I doubt we would want to keep her. It's Chono, from Hirutani's pard."

There's this coldness inside me at the names. I took it upon myself to personally gut Hirutani years ago, but I couldn't get his pard. They had scattered by the time I got done with him, so there was nothing I could really do to them. Oh, I made mental notes of who was left, so that I could hunt them down when time permitted.

But then I started putting it on the backburner. Helping Kaiba with rebuilding the house and running the city and all those damn human servant jobs, they started to taking priorities. And then I started on my idea to try to bring Yami and Mai back to life, and it definitely took precedence over killing. I never shelved the project, though, but it was definitely pretty far back on the backburner.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Kaiba must find it very easy to read me right now, either my emotions or my face.

"Do they want her back alive?"

He frowns. "Unfortunately, yes, they do. Apparently, she is in some way beholden to the Master down there."

"Damn." And I mean that one, quite a bit actually, no matter how softly it was said. I wanted the chance to kill Chono as well as Hirutani. Marik beat me to Keith, the last of the major players in Hirutani's pard, but I wanted Chono. She's grated me the wrong way from minute one. Still, there is one small hope. "Does she have to be able to walk when we return her?"

Kaiba snickers briefly in amusement. "No, they neglected to specify that." He shrugs. "Even if they did, as long as you didn't use silver..."
I feel a smirk building on my face. "As long as I didn't use silver, she would heal herself in time for us to turn her in. I like the sound of that. But they didn't specify that she had to be unharmed?"

"Not a word," he confirms, and it's music to my ears. "In fact, I rather got the impression that they didn't think it would be possible to bring her in without some damage. For what that's worth, of course."

I really only have one more question, but it might be pretty damn important at this point. "When do they want her?"

"Not immediately, for which I am rather grateful." He eyes me closely, and it's a bit more scrutiny than I'm strictly happy with. "If he wanted her back immediately, I don't doubt that you would be right back out the door tracking her down. You're about to drop, Bakura. I can feel it from here."

"You're one to talk." And there's me, unable to keep my damn mouth shut or my temper in check. "When was the last time you took more than ten minutes away from work?"

"I honestly can't say, but then, I'm not the one still running on a human body's endurance. I can afford to do this. You can't."

I roll my eyes and send a glare that could almost qualify for Kaiba's impressive arsenal at him. "No, you can't, honestly. Mokuba warned me that you would do this: work until you dropped."

He winces slightly at his brother's name. Damn it, I know better than to bring Mokuba into this argument, but I forgot. I'm not dropping this, though.

"I'm not the point here. You are. I've been able to feel how exhausted you are for a while now. You slept on the train, yes, but you're still tired."

"So what?"

"So you're still sick, Bakura." This time, he winces as he realizes what he just said. There's this unspoken agreement: I don't mention Mokuba, and he doesn't mention my... condition. I broke the truce, though, bringing up his brother, so I guess turnabout is fair play. I can see him take a deep breath that he really doesn't need and push himself to continue. "We skirt around it, but it's the truth. You're not getting any better. In fact, Kisara seems to think you're getting worse."

I'm going to have to have a talk with Kisara about making assumptions about my health one of these nights. Maybe it's fine if she has her assumptions, so perhaps the talk should consist of why she shouldn't share these ideas with others. The last thing I need is anyone coddling me.

"Yeah, fine. I'm still sick. I still have the white outs and the black outs. I still drift away sometimes. Hell, I've drifted away twice tonight so far. So yeah, maybe I am still sick, but I certainly didn't want it spread all over the place."

Kaiba kind of sighs, almost like he was expecting this but was hoping it wouldn't happen. "It's not 'spread all over the place', Bakura. The only person she's told has been me, and I'm the only person she's going to tell. Kisara is not in the business of sharing secrets."
"She shared this one, didn't she?" I might like Kisara quite a bit, but right now, I'm a bit pissed at her.

And if I didn't know better, I'd think I just made Kaiba groan out his frustration. "Then it is true? You are getting worse?"

That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? Am I getting worse? I don't know. It's hard to objectively judge yourself when you realize that it's been fifteen years but you thought it had only been thirteen tops. When you realize you can't account for two years of your own goddamn life, you lose a lot of objectivity. And since honesty has become my ongoing policy...

"I don't know. That's the best I can give you. I really don't know. All I can say for sure is that I keep drifting."

He's frowning in that way that means I'm not out of this yet. "The drifting is fairly new, isn't it?"

Yep, I'm definitely not getting out of this, so I might as well make myself comfortable. With that in mind, I flop down hard in what might as well be my chair. "In the last few years, yeah. Before that, it was just the blackouts and the white outs."

Uh-oh, bigger frown. "Now, for clarification's sake, what you call blackouts are where your vision goes out and you can't see, correct?"

I shake my head briefly. "No, those are the white outs. Because that's the color everything goes," I clarify before he can express the disbelief he's obviously feeling. I don't have to be able to read his emotions to pick that up; if you know how to read a Kaiba, it's written all over his face.

"So white outs are when your vision goes out, and the blackouts are...?"

Kaiba is nearly as lousy at prompting as he is at swearing. Someone needs to make sure he gets more practice with both of them. Don't look at me. I'm a lousy instructor. No patience and all that, doesn't work well for keeping my students breathing.

"Blackouts are more where I wake up and find I've been doing something, but I have no memory of doing it."

"And then drifting away is...?"

Yeah, someone definitely has to work on his ability to lead into a question, I think to myself with a quiet sigh. I masterfully resist the urge to roll my eyes, but it's a difficult thing.

"That one's a bit harder to explain. It's like- It's like- I find myself doing something with no idea about how or why I'm doing it. I can feel myself doing whatever it is - talking to someone, reading something, riding on a train, whatever - but I can't break out of my head enough to do anything. It's a little bit like maybe being stuck in my own skin. I don't know. It doesn't make sense, even in my own head."

Actually, no, it doesn't make sense, especially in my own head. My head is a dark and scary place where sense frequently does not exist.

And if the look on Kaiba's face is any indication, he's probably thinking something along the same lines. Kaiba does have this sort of expression that says he has a lot of doubts about my sanity. Sometimes I don't even blame him for it. Hell, I have doubts about my sanity. Some days I still expect to wake up and find out we're still in that damn dream world. More than that, some days I expect to wake up and find out that my ghosts aren't real, that I've been talking to my hallucinations, and I've finally gone around the bend. Kaiba does humor me enough sometimes to make it a plausible theory.

Right now, though, not so much on the humoring. If he were humoring me, he'd be letting me walk away from this conversation and either go sleep or go rough up Chono a bit for fun and profit.

"Have you talked to anyone about this? Besides Kisara and Mai?" Kaiba demands. You know, something tells me that this is what passes for careful concern in the world of Kaiba. To other people, though, it just comes off as rude, and I'm the expert on rude. In fact, I specialize in it.

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

"That's not what I mean. I-"

"I know what you mean, Kaiba. What am I supposed to do? Go up to some shrink and say 'hey, I got possessed a few years back -" he looks ready to interrupt me, so I clarify "fifteen years ago - my mind hasn't worked right since, so please fix it'? Are you trying to get me locked up in the loony bin?"

I can actually see him physically restraining himself. I've been told, however, that I have the ability to try the patience of all the saints, all of the bodhisattva, and the Buddha himself - and one of these days, I'm going to have to try it out. I'm not sure how yet, but I'm going to find a way to try. I'm resourceful like that.

"I meant have you talked to Varon? It's not his area of expertise, but he might be able to come up with some ideas, something you haven't tried yet."

That's... actually not a bad idea. There's just one small problem with it. And you know, I thought I would actually be ashamed to admit it, but Varon intimidates the shit out of me. I know I'm not the only one in this house he does or has intimidated, but that's hardly reassuring.
When Malik was here to commiserate with, yeah, that was one thing; when two former badasses are intimidated by another badass is one thing, but when one former badass is intimidated by another, it just doesn't look right; but there's no Malik here to be in this with me anymore.

I mean, I know what Varon used to do before he became a doctor. So far I've only killed a few people: my father and Hirutani, to be specific, and I didn't exactly stop Malik from feeding someone and their entire car to a fucking shark once. There were a few other incidents like that, mostly involving me not stopping one of the Ishtars from killing someone who pissed them off or they just didn't like. Varon's record puts me to shame, though.

He's handy to keep around. He's hooked up with Dartz for starters, so keeping him around keeps the cats around. He's a damn good doctor; he patched me up more times than I strictly recall before the whole human servant thing, and he does patch up the wolves and cats when they're hurt worse than their own healing abilities can handle. Aside from that, I would be too damn intimidated to try to run him off.

I respect Varon. He's very good at what he does, both now and before. It's for those reasons that I don't mention to anyone what I know. Oh, I'm sure that Kaiba likely already knows; I can't imagine him not knowing; but I didn't say anything.

"No, I haven't, and before you say anything, no, I'm not intending on bringing it up to him either. If you do..." I break off, trying to come up with an appropriate threat. "If you do, I'll give your personal number to those New York guys and tell them you love phone calls at two in the afternoon."

"Is this an attempt to see if I'll kick your ass? Because if you keep this up, I will."

"And if you do, I'll project it at you for months afterwards." It's not a threat. It's a goddamn promise.

"I lived with Gouzaburou. I can take whatever you can throw at me."

Okay, ouch, that hurt me, him bringing the bastard up. Fine, though, two can play at this game. "Yeah, well, I lived with my father. You have no idea what I've learned to dish out." I raise an eyebrow and give him a Look for good measure. "Are we going to keep doing this all night like assholes, or can I go ahead and go to bed? It's been a long day, and tomorrow promises to be much the same."

"Fine."

From the look he's giving me, I'm not even pretending that this might be over at any point. All I've done is won myself a reprieve. I'm sure I'll get to hear more on this tomorrow night.

That's fine, though. Hopefully by then, I'll be in a better place to deal with Kaiba than I am now. Right now, I'm not sure I'm fit to be arguing with anyone, let alone Kaiba, except perhaps the backs of my eyelids.

"Fine. Thanks. Good luck with the rest of your night."

And yeah, that might be oddly polite for me, but hey, he let me off the hook for the night. That deserves something, some small bit of kindness, I suppose. I don't have a lot of kindness to offer, not on a general basis, so Kaiba is just going to have to take what he can get on that particular front.

And as an added bonus, it throws him off his game when I'm even halfway nice, and it's always a bit hilarious to see Kaiba even vaguely flustered. "Th-Thanks. Good night."

It sounds more like a question than a statement, but that's okay. I manage to hide my grin before I get up and head out of the room. See, I'm not always a complete asshole; I didn't laugh in his face for being flustered. I'm just usually an asshole.

It's okay. I don't mind saying it. Hell, I don't mind hearing it. There are plenty of things I don't like hearing myself called, but 'asshole' is one I can usually stand to hear.

Right now, however, I don't feel like being much of one. Right now, all I want to do is sleep. I don't even want to give Kisara a piece of my mind for ratting me out, at least not right now; I fully intend to do so, but it will be at a much later point, when I am closer to my best.

The temptation is there; of course it is; when I head by her on my way upstairs. I think the fact that I'm actually fairly quiet as I head upstairs is probably a tipoff that I'm not at my best and that I might even be a bit pissed off with her. Kisara isn't exactly what you would call dumb nor is she unobservant.

Rather, I think she's a sort of secret defense the Kaibas have had in place for years: no one minds talking in front of the maid, especially when she's cute but quiet, both of which Kisara fits, but she also unbelievably strong, maybe even more so than a Were. She's the perfect trap like that.

But she's also way too sweet. Once she takes someone in, she's loyal to them for life - or until they betray one of her charges. Seth made that mistake when he betrayed Kaiba, and I like to think that, if Kaiba hadn't beaten him first, Kisara would have done it for him and probably with a lot more gusto. I would have paid money to be there to see that.

Right now, though, I'm a bit ticked off at her, and I think she knows it too.

"I'm sorry, Bakura. I had to tell him. He's worried about you. We all are." And yeah, I would say that she most likely knows I'm less than pleased with her. I'm actually proud of the fact that I'm not subtle in the least with this fact.

"I just wish you hadn't, Sara." And I must be tired, slipping to my old nickname for her from when I first moved in, before I changed it to Dragon Lady after seeing her in action. "When Kaiba worries, he makes my life unbearable."

She's shaking her head. "Bakura, Seto-sama is a master vampire. Taking care of their people is what good master vampires do. Otherwise, he would be more like Gouzaburou." She glances me over, her eyes considering. "Unless, perhaps, you would prefer that?"

I really hope that the look I give her perfectly displays the sheer incredulity I feel at that question. "In no world do I want Kaiba to be more like that asshole, and you know it."

"Then accept the fact that he will occasionally feel the need to take care of you. Also accept that if I think he needs to know something about anyone in this house, even and including you, Bakura, I will tell him about it - and yes, even if it is about you."

"You drive a hard bargain, Sara." And this is just one small example of why I started calling her Kaiba's scarier dragon lady. "Fine, you've got a deal. Now can I go to bed?"

There is instant chagrin on her face, and it would be hilarious to see if I weren't so damn exhausted. "My apologies! I didn't know that was where you were going!"

I shrug it off. "Don't worry about it." All of that finally out of the way, I head the rest of the way up the stairs. It's not that far from the stairs to my bedroom. From my sitting room, whatever it's called, it's only a few more feet and another door to my bedroom. The bed in there is calling my name, or else I probably would have just dropped on the couch in the sitting room.

That bed, I think, might be yet another example of Kaiba being a big softie deep, deep, deep inside. I swear that this bed has to be the same size as my entire bedroom at the apartment. Maybe that's not that big a stretch, since the apartment wasn't exactly huge, especially when there were three people living in it.

I don't even bother changing clothes, instead collapsing across the bed and letting sleep drag me down - and it feels wonderful.

A final thought manages to worm its way through my head before I'm completely out: way too many of the vampires I know are actively working on ruining the badass rep of vampires everywhere, by being some of the biggest worrywarts that I have ever met.

That shouldn't be so amusing, but then I'm tired. I'm allowed to find stupid things hilarious.