spasms of self-doubt plague my soul
First of all, this is one of my most favorite songs of all time. I hardly listen to the genre anymore but this song is magnificent beyond words. I first heard it on a commercial for Star Trek: Enterprise. That itself was pretty cool, considering that I'm a huge fan of the Star Trek series (my favorite being Star Trek: Voyager, the only ship to have a female Captain). In the commercial, the song played while the Captain of Enterprise looked up, presumably at the sky and stars. I've already expressed in this journal (or have I?) my love for astronomy. I've loved it my whole life (well, ever since I discovered what astronomy was). See, in 3rd grade, at a humble seven years of age, I went through a phase where I checked out and read every single children's nonfiction book the library had on astronomy. It was a small library, as it was a small town, but it doesn't undermine my efforts to further understand the subject. I wanted to be an astronomer when I grew up but soon abandoned the idea once discovering my hatred for physics. Well, it's not really boring but I've never studied astronomy in school so who knows? Anyway, I love this song because it reverts my mind back to that day and once again, I wonder about the stars and what lies beyond our solar system.
Anyway, something has been bugging me for a while. Ever since the college orientation, I've struggled with myself, toying with the idea that UCSD might not have been the greatest choice. I assume that the "better" a college is, the more intelligent its students are. My orientation has shown me nothing to support that assumption and I think that I might have been better off going to UC Davis, where a lot of my friends are going. It isn't as good at UCSD but it is primarily a biology school. Though, UCSD is a biotechnology school and that's the field I want to go into, at this point.
But then again, Davis is filled with cows and it's in the middle of nowhere, being ten or twenty miles north of Sacramento. I've heard that it's just fields, then WHAM, you have a large campus. It is very much inland and I've mentioned here: I like to be by the sea.
Another thing that disappoints me about UCSD is that they have no choir. An orientation leader asked me what I liked to do for fun and I replied "sing". I told her how I spent three years in high school singing in a choir and how I wished to pursue that in college. Her face then fell and told me that they have no "proper chamber choir" on campus. They have a capella groups, which she is a part of, and I thought that was okay until I Youtube'd one. Apparently, they have hard-core dancing and do "latest hits" from hip-hop and r&b and such.Given my rant on music earlier today, you can imagine I wasn't too pleased.
I like classics. I liked performing madrigals from the 15th century with Shakespearean texts. I liked performing Mendellsen (German composer) and pieces from the Romantic Era. I liked the history behind the music, the antiquity of what I was singing. Here was something so beautiful that it survived for centuries and centuries. Not one-hit wonders we know today and will be gone tomorrow. I liked the simplicity of singing with a piano and only a piano because the piano is an old and wondrous instrument. And I liked singing operatic.
So that's a major part of my life gone. I wish I had gotten into UCLA. It's by the beach, it has a choir, it's good academically and I suppose people will have to be a bit smarter than at UCSD.
Two entries today. Wow.
Anyway, something has been bugging me for a while. Ever since the college orientation, I've struggled with myself, toying with the idea that UCSD might not have been the greatest choice. I assume that the "better" a college is, the more intelligent its students are. My orientation has shown me nothing to support that assumption and I think that I might have been better off going to UC Davis, where a lot of my friends are going. It isn't as good at UCSD but it is primarily a biology school. Though, UCSD is a biotechnology school and that's the field I want to go into, at this point.
But then again, Davis is filled with cows and it's in the middle of nowhere, being ten or twenty miles north of Sacramento. I've heard that it's just fields, then WHAM, you have a large campus. It is very much inland and I've mentioned here: I like to be by the sea.
Another thing that disappoints me about UCSD is that they have no choir. An orientation leader asked me what I liked to do for fun and I replied "sing". I told her how I spent three years in high school singing in a choir and how I wished to pursue that in college. Her face then fell and told me that they have no "proper chamber choir" on campus. They have a capella groups, which she is a part of, and I thought that was okay until I Youtube'd one. Apparently, they have hard-core dancing and do "latest hits" from hip-hop and r&b and such.Given my rant on music earlier today, you can imagine I wasn't too pleased.
I like classics. I liked performing madrigals from the 15th century with Shakespearean texts. I liked performing Mendellsen (German composer) and pieces from the Romantic Era. I liked the history behind the music, the antiquity of what I was singing. Here was something so beautiful that it survived for centuries and centuries. Not one-hit wonders we know today and will be gone tomorrow. I liked the simplicity of singing with a piano and only a piano because the piano is an old and wondrous instrument. And I liked singing operatic.
So that's a major part of my life gone. I wish I had gotten into UCLA. It's by the beach, it has a choir, it's good academically and I suppose people will have to be a bit smarter than at UCSD.
Two entries today. Wow.