lol
Hey folks,
an update for the ages
My dad is in the hospital, we think he had his 4'th heart attack, still alive but, well we will see. If it is a heart attack it's his 4'th. Kinda seems like even if he pulls through this one he's just delaying the inevitable and that inevitable isn’t to far off, but we will see, we will see.
Going to be graduating this June with my bachelors at last, and if im lucky I will have a new job shortly after, whatever it may be
Things with my man are well, interesting to say the least, I’ve done a lot of soul searching this past what has it been now, hell its been over a year as far as soul searching goes, I’ve cried a lot because of him, I’ve laughed a lot because of him, and I’ve found out many things about myself, both good and bad because of him. And yet i've found even more unanswered questions. I guess that’s just the way things go. I do know this, I love him dearly, and it may not be a perfect match, hell it may be the worst match ever but I’ll be damned if I don’t try everything I can think of to make this work. And I am terrified, sometimes to the point of being crippled by that fear, of him finding someone else and/or leaving me.
School is almost over. And for the first time ever i’ve taken a back seat in a group project. I let someone else lead in ever group i’ve had this quarter and done just my part and no more. Funny thing is im still the only one in one of the groups who has turned their stuff in on time.
I have serious self-esteem issues. And the funny thing is the more others actively try to boost my self-image the more they tear it down because I am forced to look at myself.
with that note I do know this
I am one of the most caring people on the face of the planet when it comes to people I care about
I have the damndest time accepting any kindness from anyone
I am addicted to doing nice things for others
I spend so much of myself making sure others come first that I have been neglecting myself for a long, long time and it is killing me
I need to loosen up and stop breaking down
loosing a few more pounds wouldn’t hurt either,
I need to learn to love myself
..................cheers
P.S. lost is an awesome show
an update for the ages
My dad is in the hospital, we think he had his 4'th heart attack, still alive but, well we will see. If it is a heart attack it's his 4'th. Kinda seems like even if he pulls through this one he's just delaying the inevitable and that inevitable isn’t to far off, but we will see, we will see.
Going to be graduating this June with my bachelors at last, and if im lucky I will have a new job shortly after, whatever it may be
Things with my man are well, interesting to say the least, I’ve done a lot of soul searching this past what has it been now, hell its been over a year as far as soul searching goes, I’ve cried a lot because of him, I’ve laughed a lot because of him, and I’ve found out many things about myself, both good and bad because of him. And yet i've found even more unanswered questions. I guess that’s just the way things go. I do know this, I love him dearly, and it may not be a perfect match, hell it may be the worst match ever but I’ll be damned if I don’t try everything I can think of to make this work. And I am terrified, sometimes to the point of being crippled by that fear, of him finding someone else and/or leaving me.
School is almost over. And for the first time ever i’ve taken a back seat in a group project. I let someone else lead in ever group i’ve had this quarter and done just my part and no more. Funny thing is im still the only one in one of the groups who has turned their stuff in on time.
I have serious self-esteem issues. And the funny thing is the more others actively try to boost my self-image the more they tear it down because I am forced to look at myself.
with that note I do know this
I am one of the most caring people on the face of the planet when it comes to people I care about
I have the damndest time accepting any kindness from anyone
I am addicted to doing nice things for others
I spend so much of myself making sure others come first that I have been neglecting myself for a long, long time and it is killing me
I need to loosen up and stop breaking down
loosing a few more pounds wouldn’t hurt either,
I need to learn to love myself
..................cheers
P.S. lost is an awesome show