On Love....
“Love Hurts”
We were basking in the sun after climbing the rickety stairs which took us to the top of the water-tank. It was our space, away from the maddening land-lady. Occasional breeze would send shivers down our spine and we would giggle like school kids. The place hopefully still keeps our secret rendezvous safe in her granite. We had our midnight parties, silent sobbing, philosophical banters, singing aloud with no reason or rhyme, getting drenched in the rains; all the silly stupid things that comprise of hostel life. Sometimes I miss those carefree moments.
Coming back to that day, we all were lying down lost in our own thoughts, when 'A' uttered those ominous words. Why would she say that? I wondered looking at her for explanation. When she gave none, I reiterated with “No.It doesn’t, if it hurts it’s never love.”
“You’ll know,” she replied sagely. And I tossed it as yet another philosophical bullshit before we moved on to better things (eating cream and onion potato chips).
o o o
“If you truly love someone; set them free.”
Tears blur my vision as I see his smiling face across the computer screen. If he is happy, why ain’t I? Is this what true love is all about? I analyze and counter argue with myself. They say when you are really happy; your smile reaches your eyes. I needed answers. Where did I go wrong? Why was this happening to me? Lost in thoughts, my jittery hands dialed the number that stole my heart.
“It was my marriage for God sake! How do you expect me not to smile?” he said. The world came crashing down and few friends helped me to build it up back again. The experience took something away from me and replaced it with a belief that I could survive a storm.
There are always two sides of a story; this is mine.
o o o
"When they say that the Universe is conspiring.....it's mostly your friends and family brainwashing you!!"
The whole 'Arranged Marriage' scenario is a hilarious circus which you can enjoy only from the spectator's seat. Firstly the girl and guy need to approve each other, then the parents need to get along together, plus the horoscope needs to be matched to perfection. And finally when all the parameters are met then and only then is “Love” taken into consideration.
Yes! Of course, I have known people who supposedly “clicked” with the first guy/girl they met and are happily married with kids. I wasn’t that lucky. It was years of meeting Mr. Wrongs and yakking about it to my concerned friends and family that I realized that maybe I am not at all marriage material. And what I was looking for was never to be found. Because, he was already married? Nah!
But yeah, I wasn’t ready to risk my heart this time around. It was going to be arranged marriage or nothing!
o o o
"Love...something which makes you see SIGNS even when none exists!!"
He noticed me at this crossroad of life, shopping for happiness. It was plain unadulterated fun; the one that doesn’t ask for validation. Chatting with each other was the best part of the day. Nonsense was respected and it took off the load that life was throwing at me. I was avoiding love at all cost and here it was right in front of me tempting me to give it a try. Did I?
Well..er..heh…yes. I confessed my feelings. “But we are just friends.” He responded. “What about those signs?” I inquired. “Which ones?” He seemed totally clueless. All right! Time to shut up.
Rejected. Dejected. I decided to move on. We stayed friends and also kept chatting.
o o o
“Fear is the heart of love.”
I got married in about six months of dating him. The ‘why not?’ got answered with ‘let’s give this a try’ and it worked. I still pester him about what made him decide on me after friend zoning me. “It took me some time” is all he says. So, should we call this love? I really don’t know. All I know is he cares and so do I.
Marriage comes with its own share of doubts especially when you see them falling apart day in and day out. On television and in real life. He thinks I have trust issues, a baggage that I carry from past experience and I think he doesn’t share enough. The argument continues till wee hours of morning, till we both get tired and go to sleep.
Each experience in life teaches you something new,this love (if I may call it that) is way different from the first one I experienced. I do fear the safety of my heart and I know that people fall out of love and sometimes it deters me from enjoying what I have right now.
“Love Hurts. It does.” And sometimes, it leaves scars behind.
O O O
We were basking in the sun after climbing the rickety stairs which took us to the top of the water-tank. It was our space, away from the maddening land-lady. Occasional breeze would send shivers down our spine and we would giggle like school kids. The place hopefully still keeps our secret rendezvous safe in her granite. We had our midnight parties, silent sobbing, philosophical banters, singing aloud with no reason or rhyme, getting drenched in the rains; all the silly stupid things that comprise of hostel life. Sometimes I miss those carefree moments.
Coming back to that day, we all were lying down lost in our own thoughts, when 'A' uttered those ominous words. Why would she say that? I wondered looking at her for explanation. When she gave none, I reiterated with “No.It doesn’t, if it hurts it’s never love.”
“You’ll know,” she replied sagely. And I tossed it as yet another philosophical bullshit before we moved on to better things (eating cream and onion potato chips).
o o o
“If you truly love someone; set them free.”
Tears blur my vision as I see his smiling face across the computer screen. If he is happy, why ain’t I? Is this what true love is all about? I analyze and counter argue with myself. They say when you are really happy; your smile reaches your eyes. I needed answers. Where did I go wrong? Why was this happening to me? Lost in thoughts, my jittery hands dialed the number that stole my heart.
“It was my marriage for God sake! How do you expect me not to smile?” he said. The world came crashing down and few friends helped me to build it up back again. The experience took something away from me and replaced it with a belief that I could survive a storm.
There are always two sides of a story; this is mine.
o o o
"When they say that the Universe is conspiring.....it's mostly your friends and family brainwashing you!!"
The whole 'Arranged Marriage' scenario is a hilarious circus which you can enjoy only from the spectator's seat. Firstly the girl and guy need to approve each other, then the parents need to get along together, plus the horoscope needs to be matched to perfection. And finally when all the parameters are met then and only then is “Love” taken into consideration.
Yes! Of course, I have known people who supposedly “clicked” with the first guy/girl they met and are happily married with kids. I wasn’t that lucky. It was years of meeting Mr. Wrongs and yakking about it to my concerned friends and family that I realized that maybe I am not at all marriage material. And what I was looking for was never to be found. Because, he was already married? Nah!
But yeah, I wasn’t ready to risk my heart this time around. It was going to be arranged marriage or nothing!
o o o
"Love...something which makes you see SIGNS even when none exists!!"
He noticed me at this crossroad of life, shopping for happiness. It was plain unadulterated fun; the one that doesn’t ask for validation. Chatting with each other was the best part of the day. Nonsense was respected and it took off the load that life was throwing at me. I was avoiding love at all cost and here it was right in front of me tempting me to give it a try. Did I?
Well..er..heh…yes. I confessed my feelings. “But we are just friends.” He responded. “What about those signs?” I inquired. “Which ones?” He seemed totally clueless. All right! Time to shut up.
Rejected. Dejected. I decided to move on. We stayed friends and also kept chatting.
o o o
“Fear is the heart of love.”
I got married in about six months of dating him. The ‘why not?’ got answered with ‘let’s give this a try’ and it worked. I still pester him about what made him decide on me after friend zoning me. “It took me some time” is all he says. So, should we call this love? I really don’t know. All I know is he cares and so do I.
Marriage comes with its own share of doubts especially when you see them falling apart day in and day out. On television and in real life. He thinks I have trust issues, a baggage that I carry from past experience and I think he doesn’t share enough. The argument continues till wee hours of morning, till we both get tired and go to sleep.
Each experience in life teaches you something new,this love (if I may call it that) is way different from the first one I experienced. I do fear the safety of my heart and I know that people fall out of love and sometimes it deters me from enjoying what I have right now.
“Love Hurts. It does.” And sometimes, it leaves scars behind.
O O O