I just want you for my own, more than you could even know--
So there's this mirror behind my squad's CQ desk. Someone took out a red marker and wrote a scoreboard on it, one dash for us Blackbirds everytime we scored on a final, and one dash for everytime the dean "raped" us through a final...I added two dashes to her name today. She is far in the lead.
Nothing quite like finals to make you feel like a total dumbass.
I think I may wake up early tomorrow to go to mass.
Auuugh... I can't wait to go home, sleep in my nice electric-blanket heated warm bead, eat hot soup, look through the Vacaville Reporter over coffee in the morning, even go to Albertsons....I can't wait.
So if you want to ponder about some stuff read on, if you don't care, then you might as well stop reading now. Note that the following is not written out of any sadness or anything, it's simply facts.... it's not meant to give you a negative or positive view on anything.
Imagine getting on a plane to never look back towards home for five months. Imagine wearing the same type of clothes everday for months on end. Imagine not wearing ankle socks for that long. Now imagine waking up at 5:30am every morning during the week, and being ready to go by 6am. Imagine having to go to a MANDATORY breakfast at 6:30 am before your classes. Heck, imagine having class every day of the week. Imagine not being able to carry your backpack on your shoulders, not even one.
Imagine having to run to all your classes, having to run to the post office if you need to mail a letter. Now imagine going for a 4-mile run with a rifle in formation, while 20-year olds yell at you for being the slowest one of the group. Imagine doing that run in boots, through the snow. Imagine three of your classmates taking your hands to pull you up the last hill. Imagine having a "squadron" rock that your teammates take on that run, sharing the burden of its extra weight between twenty or so freshmen you've seen everyday for the last five months.
imagine knowing those twenty or so teammates very well, their first names, last names, hometowns, parents' jobs, high school sport, embarassing stories, funny stories, pet's names. Imagine knowing what they look like when they run, what they look like when they have dirt and sweat all over their faces, what they look like right before they're about to break. Imagine having them walk into your room whenever they want, and it doesn't even bother you, even when they don't need anything, just to lay in your bed.
Imagine eating breakfast and lunch with the juniors and seniors at your school. Imagine you pouring drinks for them and you don't even mind. Imagine yourself trying to come up with good quotes and funny stories to tell them at dinner. Imagine running around and throwing snowballs at your classmates. Imagine cleaning your room until 3 am in the morning, helping people in your hall make their beds and iron their clothes, and then sleeping on the floor with your two roomates because you don't want to mess your bed up. Imagine not being able to talk in your hallway. Imagine having to walk only on the right side of your hallway. Imagine your teachers telling you not to be late to your next class. Imagine your professors giving you their home phone numbers in case you have any questions over the weekend. Imagine being the only girl in your math class.
Imagine calling all the sophomores you know by "cadet last name", not by their first names. Imagine having to greet everyone you pass, with a "good morning/ good afternoon/ good evening ma'am/sir." Imagine half of your teachers fly fighter jets. Imagine your english teacher just set the world record for swimming the english channel, your chemistry teacher ran a marathon up a 12,000 foot mountain. Imagine tourists coming to visit your school everyday, watching and observing as if they were in a zoo. Imagine eating with the Pakistani delegation, to South Korean delegation, WWII veterans, the secretary of defense of fill-in-the-blank. Imagine going into town on a friday night and having every person in the restaraunt stare at you and your classmate. Imagine having strangers come up to you and thank you when you're not even doing anything useful yet. Or imagine going to the capitol and having to change out of uniform because otherwise you'll probably get spit at. Imagine knowing that when a sophmore reluctantly says "...allright ya guys... get on your faces" you get down to do pushups. Imagine getting yelled at in a hallway for doing something wrong, getting down for pushups, and having 18 other freshmen run out of their rooms, and get down beside you to do pushups with you, just so you're not alone.
Imagine bugging the same juniors everyday for help on your engineering homework. Imagine having to do community service on the weekends. Imagine seniors coming in to your room to see how things are going, how finals are, what your plans are for christmas, etcetera. Imagine not being able to use an elevator.
Imagine not being able to close your door when someone of the opposite gender is in.
On top of school, imagine having to memorize quotes, dates, poems, planes, and biographies out of a little red book you always carry in your pocket.
Imagine having classes on sexual assault, tolerance, financial responsibility, law, professionalism, and honor twice a week. Imagine having to take a year of chemistry if your major is english, taking calculus II if your major is history, taking aeronautical engineering if your major is economics.
Imagine wearing an outfit, that the second you put on, you know you shouldn't be sitting on the ground with it, you shouldn't be slouching, you shouldn't be cursing or making a fool of yourself, that you must be respectful and polite in, that you must open doors with and be well groomed in, because the outfit doesn't just belong to you, but belongs to thousands of other people that sacrifice themselves on a daily basis?