..............
I have been away from the computer for quite a while, it seems...I hadn't realized how long it's been since I've updated this or my Xanga, or talked with my friends.
These past few months have been nothing short of remarkable. I've dedicated myself entirely to shedding the dark side of me that was born almost two years ago now. I've worked hard on repairing all the aspects of my life, as well as rediscovering all of the aspects of myself. I can finally say that I'm free of the pain that day caused. It's been a long time since I looked within myself and felt good about it, all the times I was just too stubborn to let it go.
It's entirely unlike me to look at myself first, but as despair kept creeping back in every time I made any progress, I decided to put myself first. Do everything I can to help myself, and stop putting everyone else ahead of me. Heh...I've always been my own worst enemy...too softhearted and altruistic. Now I've learned that I don't have to make myself suffer because of those characteristics. I can still be that way, and help myself as well.
There will always be that which is permanently beyond repair and will remain forever...my brain will always be screwy. But I've finally been able to accept that. Certain things that were lost will never be found again, and certain things that developed will remain forever, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do whatever I can to better all of the things that can change.
My online presence will probably never again be felt as it used to be...as I will continue to help myself, but I should be back online every so often. After all, without all of my friends, I'd not have made it past the first few months, much less the nearly two years it has taken me to come this far. They always told me I was strong, but for the longest time, they were the only thing keeping me going. It's nice to have a true will to live again, instead of always dragging myself along because of them. Thank you all for believing in me.
So Naomi begins anew...again.
These past few months have been nothing short of remarkable. I've dedicated myself entirely to shedding the dark side of me that was born almost two years ago now. I've worked hard on repairing all the aspects of my life, as well as rediscovering all of the aspects of myself. I can finally say that I'm free of the pain that day caused. It's been a long time since I looked within myself and felt good about it, all the times I was just too stubborn to let it go.
It's entirely unlike me to look at myself first, but as despair kept creeping back in every time I made any progress, I decided to put myself first. Do everything I can to help myself, and stop putting everyone else ahead of me. Heh...I've always been my own worst enemy...too softhearted and altruistic. Now I've learned that I don't have to make myself suffer because of those characteristics. I can still be that way, and help myself as well.
There will always be that which is permanently beyond repair and will remain forever...my brain will always be screwy. But I've finally been able to accept that. Certain things that were lost will never be found again, and certain things that developed will remain forever, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do whatever I can to better all of the things that can change.
My online presence will probably never again be felt as it used to be...as I will continue to help myself, but I should be back online every so often. After all, without all of my friends, I'd not have made it past the first few months, much less the nearly two years it has taken me to come this far. They always told me I was strong, but for the longest time, they were the only thing keeping me going. It's nice to have a true will to live again, instead of always dragging myself along because of them. Thank you all for believing in me.
So Naomi begins anew...again.