Colour him puzzled. He wants to make his friend happy, and he wants ... to keep faithful to Parker. There are few ways in his mind to do this successfully.
"I know few ways to prove to you that you are a good, noble person that I trust with my life, Nicholas. This is one way that I would gladly offer to a friend."
"You trust me now, of course. I'm in my right mind..."
He looks to Lawrence.
"Have I told you of the monster that lurked behind my eyes, Lawrence? The red eyed creature, twisted and too far beyond pain to know it in another? Or did you hear of the demon that hid beside my soul... the one that emerged on my wedding night to nearly kill the man I pledge to love and protect?"
"And yet he lives still, as far as you have told me. We all have our demons, Nicholas. Yours are simply insistant and more physical than perhaps you would like them to be."
He is moving closer, his hand trailing to rest on Nicholas' shoulder.
And faster than Lawrence can see, faster than he can even think, Nick has him up against a wall of the room with his hand against Lawrence's throat and his eyes burning with the edges of insanity and the deepest, darkest despair.
"You think I haven't killed? You think I haven't tortured? You think I haven't slaughtered women, children, men of all types... and for fun?"
He pulls Lawrence down a little till they're face to face.
"I have hunted men through deserts, through forests, though cities all in a merry chase to get the blood pumping before the meal. I have kept women, wives and daughters and sisters, chained in my basements as snacks to my amusement. I have taken a man apart piece by bloody piece because he displeased me with my teeth, Lawrence... The symbols of God repelled me, burned my flesh, Lawrence..."
And he slams him against the wall, not as sharply but to make a point.
And there is a gasp as he finds the breath gone from his body, as he is shoved against the wall and tugged. It is perhaps a pressure that he is unused to having Nick apply to him, but he has never responded well to threats. He listens, eyes fixed on Nicholas' as he laments.
It takes him a long while to be able to speak again, but it is with the even, measured tone that indicates he has thought hard.
"I am not so disillusioned, Nicholas. You speak these things, you think to what? To terrify me into leaving you alone, to wallow in your self and your madness? I abandon not friends in darkness, Nicholas, no matter the threat."
"I haven't been mortal for so long... and then I was and then I died, Lawrence. I thought it was over. I thought the pain was over but then I woke up. Then I woke up."
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"Why?"
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Colour him puzzled. He wants to make his friend happy, and he wants ... to keep faithful to Parker. There are few ways in his mind to do this successfully.
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"I know few ways to prove to you that you are a good, noble person that I trust with my life, Nicholas. This is one way that I would gladly offer to a friend."
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"You trust me now, of course. I'm in my right mind..."
He looks to Lawrence.
"Have I told you of the monster that lurked behind my eyes, Lawrence? The red eyed creature, twisted and too far beyond pain to know it in another? Or did you hear of the demon that hid beside my soul... the one that emerged on my wedding night to nearly kill the man I pledge to love and protect?"
He shakes his head.
"Unstable. I'm nothing but unstable."
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He is moving closer, his hand trailing to rest on Nicholas' shoulder.
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"You think I haven't killed? You think I haven't tortured? You think I haven't slaughtered women, children, men of all types... and for fun?"
He pulls Lawrence down a little till they're face to face.
"I have hunted men through deserts, through forests, though cities all in a merry chase to get the blood pumping before the meal. I have kept women, wives and daughters and sisters, chained in my basements as snacks to my amusement. I have taken a man apart piece by bloody piece because he displeased me with my teeth, Lawrence... The symbols of God repelled me, burned my flesh, Lawrence..."
And he slams him against the wall, not as sharply but to make a point.
"Speak not of the Devil you do not know."
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It takes him a long while to be able to speak again, but it is with the even, measured tone that indicates he has thought hard.
"I am not so disillusioned, Nicholas. You speak these things, you think to what? To terrify me into leaving you alone, to wallow in your self and your madness? I abandon not friends in darkness, Nicholas, no matter the threat."
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"What if the darkness is within them? What if the darkness has no escape?"
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But he keeps his eyes on Nicholas, full of fire as they had once been. When things had been important.
This was important. "Then they must fight against it!" His voice is harsh with the task of raising it with restricted air.
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He attempts to relax against the wall.
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"I don't... I don't..."
Just don't know anymore.
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"It is only mortal to be unsure, Nick. Even if you are not so mortal as you once were."
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