Nostalgic
Ivan and I have been talking about body language and how it's very important to him. I remember when I gave meaning to everything. Then, I just decided not to. And I don't like it that way. These months since the rebirth... well, I'm just experiencing and trying to live life differently from how I did in my previous life. As far as I've found, I prefer many old traits. I was so hard on myself.
I read my old journal the other day. There's so much of my past that I've let go of. Blocked it out or just let it fade, I don't know. Now, I'm listening to Alanis Morriesette's "Joining You" and "Building a Mystery" by Sarah McLachlan. The first song reminds me of Anna because it's from one of the few pop albums she owned when I first met her and I borrowed it for awhile. One of Anna's contributions to my music range. For some reason, the chorus gets me every time and the rest reminds me of how strangely unstable all of us -- the collective Anna, Kaelin, Mai 'us.' The latter song reminds me of Emily, because 'Surfacing' was the first album she made into a tape for me. I listened to it a lot in 8th grade. She always told me that the song 'Adia' reminded her of me.
When I read my friend's body language, it seems that he wants what I want but is much more reserved. Sometimes, he puts a distance between us or will force me back. I just close my eyes and let it happen.
I read my old journal the other day. There's so much of my past that I've let go of. Blocked it out or just let it fade, I don't know. Now, I'm listening to Alanis Morriesette's "Joining You" and "Building a Mystery" by Sarah McLachlan. The first song reminds me of Anna because it's from one of the few pop albums she owned when I first met her and I borrowed it for awhile. One of Anna's contributions to my music range. For some reason, the chorus gets me every time and the rest reminds me of how strangely unstable all of us -- the collective Anna, Kaelin, Mai 'us.' The latter song reminds me of Emily, because 'Surfacing' was the first album she made into a tape for me. I listened to it a lot in 8th grade. She always told me that the song 'Adia' reminded her of me.
When I read my friend's body language, it seems that he wants what I want but is much more reserved. Sometimes, he puts a distance between us or will force me back. I just close my eyes and let it happen.